Must we read a blog based on lies?!?

Hark! I hath been taggeth. So the dealio is that I am supposed to write five interesting facts about myself, but the catch is that one is made up: a lie if you will. I really can't imagine that I'll be able to think up anything you people haven't read on here already, but I'm willing to give it a try. BTW, I still haven't found anyone to help me with my template problems. I'm looking for volunteers if anyone cares to pitch in. So here we go.

1) I really hate playing Scrabble. It was my mom's favorite game when I was growing up and she always made me play it with her. I hated it, I don't think I'm good at it, and to this day I pretty much avoid any kind of game involving scrambles of letters. I really like Life. I'm a simple sort, I guess.

2) I once knew a guy who believed that he had been called by God to restore polygamy to the Earth, and "God" (or the voices. whatever.) told him that I was to be his number one wife. I had to say a big NO to that one. He recovered quickly. I guess when "God" has a whole passel of women lined up for you, there really are plenty of fish in the sea.

3) I once had a huge crush on a guy named Yoshi. (It was short for Tsiyoshi.) Now every time I think of Mario games, it reminds me of him, and I smile a little.

4) Once when I was a kid, there was a cotton mouth snake at the bus stop and one of the older guys killed it. They then put it down where the bus would drive so that the bus ran over it and squished it. It was gross.

5) When I was in first or second grade, I had a parakeet named Cindy, whom I loved like crazy. At least once a week when I came home from school, mom would tell me that Cindy was dead, usually that the cat ate her or that I left the cage open and she got out and ran into something. I would always then run crying to my room to find that Cindy was perfectly fine. Then one day, Cindy really did die, probably because of a draft or something, and I didn't believe my mom when she told me. I was so shocked when I went to my room and she was laying on the bottom of the cage. I was hoping that she got in on the joke somehow, but apparently not.

So there ya go. Which is the lie? I hope it's not too, too obvious. :)

My Christmas, or why I don't blog anymore

I am annoyed with Blogger. Do you want to know why? Because it forced me to get a Google account in order to comment on Cainnum's blog, and it was a big huge pain in the ass, and now my blog is all messed up because everything on my sidebar starts AFTER all my blog listing instead of being at the top and that seriously pisses me off. And since I know nothing about HTML, I don't know how to fix it. Plus, I'm kinda sick of blogging anyway because I don't have anything interesting to write about anymore and none of my friends blog anymore. And I got a little soured by the whole pictures not working out on the picture blog I was trying to do and by people on another blog totally attacking everything I say because they are immature and take themselves WAY too seriously, and the whole thing just kinda made me think, "Well, if this is the kind of people reading blogs, maybe I don't even want to have one." (Which is NOT a commentary on the blogger in question, who has an intelligent and quality blog that is very enjoyable to read.) Plus, blogger is problematic as often as it isn't and every time I think of something to blog about, it is immediately followed by the thought that blogging might actually be so difficult as to not even be worth it. So this is just a commentary on why I don't blog very much anymore.

In conclusion, I had a great Christmas and received many wonderful gifts. They are:
Xena season 4
Buffy seasons 3 & 4
a cameo necklace
some hair clips and hairbands
glow bracelets
candy and more candy
two Tannith Lee books
temporary tattoos
a box cutter (which is sweet!)
a mini-mag light (which I asked for)
measuring cups and spoons
a video game for a system I don't have that I returned for credit
Rocket Slime for the DS
a set of plastic party glasses
a Blockbuster gift card
a CD: Erasure, The Very Best 20 Hits
a DVD recorder (TOTALLY SWEET!)

So, all in all, it was a pretty good haul, not that that is the important thing. The important thing is that we had a good day, marred only by the fact that my love was far away in Pennsylvania. *le sigh* But he's back now and all's right in the world. Except for the fact that I now hate Blogger. Yep. That's about it fer now. See ya!

Ethan times

The other night I wasn't feeling well, so I decided that, dammit, I was going to have me some chocolate frosting. I eat it right from the container with a spoon. Here's a conversation that ensued:

Ethan: Why are you eating that cream stuff right out of the can?
Me: Because I want to.
Ethan: I can't wait to be an adult.
Me: Yep. It's pretty awesome.

So, I get the award for worst example, but I mean, the kid has a point. I hear people telling kids to enjoy their childhood, it's the best time of their life and all. No responsibilities and what not. But you know what I say to those people? FUCK THAT. I fucking hated being a kid. You're always under somebody's thumb. Always controlled by the seemingly random whims of adults. Plus, you're too short to reach the top shelf of the closet, and everyone knows that's where they keep the good stuff. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be an adult. Some people say, oh, but the responsibility, the worries! You know what I say to that? It's worth it. You can be your own person and make your own decisions. Even if it FEELS like you don't have a choice on something, you still do. Here's an example: You hate your job and your boss is an asshole. You can choose to a) find a new job, b) suffer through it, or c) quit your job and live on the streets. You might think that some of those things aren't actually options, but they are! And it's really that simple. When you're a kid, if your boss (IE: your parent, guardian, babysitter, or teacher) is an ass, you know what you can do? Suffer. Sure, you could run away from home or act out, but those really aren't solutions, just stop gaps. Plus, most kids don't have the sophisticated problem solving skills to realize that they can do anything other than suffer. And I even remember when I was a kid and people would tell me all that crap about how that was the best time of my life, I really did think to myself and say in some instances, "Well, I better just go ahead and fucking kill myself now and save myself the trouble later." In conclusion, being an adult is awesome. So says the 32-year-old woman who is living with her parents practically rent free.

Here's another amusing Ethan story for you from earlier this week:

I was driving through an intersection when the traffic which had been moving quite nicely suddenly slammed to a halt, leaving me in the middle of the intersection. I really try not to block intersections, because I hate when people do that and then their light turns red and mine turns green but I can't fucking go because they are a huge jackass, but ya know, what can ya do? Sometimes it happens. So we're sitting there in the middle of the intersection and Ethan says, "You know what those people are thinking right now?" "What?" says I. "Bitch," says Ethan. I say, "Ethan! You shouldn't use words like that." He asks, "Well what are they thinking then?" To which I reply, "Well, yeah, that's totally what they're thinking, but you still shouldn't use words like that!" And we laughed and laughed. Good times.

Ethan had his first absence of the year today. He was running a fever of 102.5, so I thought he deserved it. AND my boyfriend's sick too. And it's all thanks to me, who was sick first! I'm typhoid Margie! Hooray!

My annual Christmas list

Well, the time has come once again to discuss what everyone's going to be getting me for Christmas this year. I know that everyone loves me, and wants to get me things that ROCK, so I thought I'd offer a few suggestions.

I have a wish list on www.Amazon.com You can see a link to it on the side bar, but, sadly, it doesn't seem to take you directly to my list. But you can find me if you type in my first and last name. You don't know my last name? Well, then you probably aren't obligated to buy me a gift. Please take note that Buffy season three is STILL on my wishlist.

I like cool/funny tees. I have really been impressed by the ones on http://www.bustedtees.com/male and http://www.defunker.com/
I also really want this shirt: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/Mormon/-/pv_design_prod/p_1513549.70530643/pNo_70530643/id_13979391/fpt_/opt_/c_360/pg_
Wow, that was a long link. Just FYI: I wear a women's xl or a men's med or large.

Of course, I want an MP3 player, but not enough to actually buy one myself.

Ummm. . .yeah. I guess I'm an easy sell this year. Go forth! Buy me stuff! I strongly encourage everyone to make a list, it'll make my life a lot easier. :)

"Mother-In-Law" is a stereotype for a reason

Since Lawrence's parents left, I have spent a fair amount of brain power thinking about things they said. Well, actually, I've been thinking about things Lawrence's mom said. His dad is an absolute sweetheart and Lawrence claims that his dad just adores me and approves of our union wholeheartedly. He also spent some time showing me how to saw on my violin, so that was fun. He says that if they ever move down here, he'll teach me to play! And, he wouldn't let Lawrence pay for anything while they were here, telling him to save his money for a ring. :)

Lawrence's mom, on the other hand, has caused me a fair amount of increased forehead wrinkles. Lawrence says that she said that she likes me and didn't say anything else about me, bad or good. Lawrence's mom is VERY negative and has no qualms about expressing her opinions, so Lawrence and his sister both agree that her not saying bad things about me is a very good sign. But. she did say some things that bothered me. Like she said, "Lawrence, is it Margie that's fattening you up? Because you've always been thin as a board!" Ok. So, is it just me, or does it sound like she's saying that I'm fat, so I must be responsible for Lawrence's increased belly size? (Which is something he had when I started dating him, thank you very much.) When I pressed Lawrence to find out what his parents thought of my appearance, he reluctantly admitted that his mother said only one thing, "Well, Margie's certainly not like Becky is she?" (Becky is Lawrence's first wife, and Lawrence's mother's favorite bashing topic is Becky, just FYI.) Lawrence agreed that I am nothing like Becky, but wanted to know exactly what she meant. She said, "Well, she doesn't care about her appearance like Becky does." Um. I tried really hard to look nice that night, so I was a little offended by this. Ok. Not a little, more like a lot. My response when Lawrence told me this was somewhere along the lines of, "WHAT is THAT supposed to mean?!?" Lawrence claims up and down that Becky was always the kind of yuppyish chameleon that had to have every hair in place and her nails perfectly manicured, with just the perfect name brand outfit and her personality tailor made for the occasion, and that I'm not like that; I dress how I feel and I don't wear much makeup and I'm me no matter whom I'm with. Ok, well it sure as hell sounded a lot worse than that, but whatever. I won't be criticized by a woman who wears a thick layer of metallic baby blue eye shadow. So these are examples of things she said, but I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet. Her only concern about Lawrence marrying me is. . .you guessed it. . .Ethan. (I hear from Lawrence that is.) She is absolutely convinced and will not be moved on the idea that ADHD means "Special Needs," like rides the short bus "special." She even asked Lawrence if they were going to try to mainstream Ethan at school. Hello! He IS mainstream! He doesn't have to wear a helmet to walk or anything! He gets to write with sharp pencils and everything! It doesn't help at all that he acts like a nine year old but looks like a twelve year old, that really just confirms her beliefs. For some reason, I find it very offensive and disconcerting that she thinks my child is retarded. I should mail her his standardize test results showing that he, on average, scores in the high ninetieth percentile. And I find it even more disconcerting that this is STILL bothering me even though she's been gone for a week and a half. Oh well. At least she lives in California, ya know what I'm saying?!?

mom

Dude, my life has been hella stressed lately. Long story short, and to the fact that I was all hob-nobbing with Lawrence's parents that fact that my mom has been in the hospital since Saturday night. She's got spinal stenosis, seems like, and it's way painful. They gave her three shots of steroids to the spine yesterday plus some kinda numbing shot to boot. If it works, she'll have to have that done every 3-6 months for the rest of her life. So, that's fun. She just got home from the hospital today. I must say, it sure is stressful having to be a fer real single mother. I had to rearrange my work schedule so that I get off in time to be home for Ethan getting off the bus. Then I had to all help him with his homework and shit. What's up with that?!? AND I had to like, watch him all the time, and make arrangements for someone else to watch him when I wanted to go somewhere. What the HELL?!? How do people do it? Lawrence says I better get used to it, because when we have kid(s), this is what'll be like. I told him that this was probably not the smartest thing for him to point out. So anyway. My boss had me sign us up for NetFlix, and he's paying for it, but so far he's let me pick out all the movies, so this is AWESOME. Today, I was watching memoirs of a Geisha (which I still have 45 minutes left to watch, so I can't tell you if it's good or not.), and we got Over the Hedge, Thank You For Smoking, and Sleepy Hollow. It's very exciting, because I had watched all my movies.

Tomorrow Ethan is leaving to spend Thanksgiving week with his dad, and I am looking forward to a vacation. All this parenting has been absolutely exhausting.

Met the parents

Yes, it's true. I have now met the parents. I was super nervous for weeks, and then yesterday, I experienced a strange calm all day. Then, just as Lawrence and I were driving up to the hotel, my nervousness returned with gale force. But, it all went well. His parent's were pleasant and conversed with me freely. Toward the end of the evening, his dad gave me some bits of advice for living with Lawrence, which I take as a very good sign. His mother finishes everyone's sentences for them. I can definitely tell where Lawrence gets a lot of his traits from. But, all in all, it was a very pleasant evening. During lunch yesterday, Lawrence told me that he had a surprise for me, then later he told me he lied; he didn't have a surprise for me, he had TWO surprises! The first was. . .new glasses! That's right, he snuck around behind my back and got himself new glasses! They are SO SO much better than the old ones, but they'd almost have to be really. He looks so cute in them! Of course, I think he's cute in general, but I might be biased. The second surprise was a splurge purchase. He bought me silver hoop earrings from Jarrod's Jewelers! I couldn't believe it. I think I'm obligated to say, "He went to Jarrod's," everytime someone notices them. At least that's what the commercials would have me believe. I also found out that Lawrence's mom (who's name is Thurza, btw. Thurza?!?) brought with her Lawrence's baby blankets. The one he used, and the one he was blessed in. Their both very nice, but I did wonder at her timing. I said, "Ok, is she just getting them out of her house, or is she planning on them being used soon?" Lawrence said he wondered the same thing, but didn't ask. lol. Anyhoo. All in all, it was a good evening.

I don't understand

Hey kids. Still haven't figured out the picture situation. Maybe someday I will be able to get that damn post finished.

I'm in something of a mood right now, I must say. I once saw a t-shirt that said across the front, "I can't, I'm Mormon." Now I think that is hilarious, cause, well, lets face it, it does seem that Mormons are prohibited from doing pretty much anything that most people would consider fun. But I read articles about how Utah Mormons got all up in arms about this t-shirt because it made it seem like we WANT to drink and smoke and do the two backed mattress dance, but we don't just because we're told not to. They made the postulation that we deny ourselves, not because we're told to, but because it's the right thing, and they wouldn't do those things EVEN IF THEY WEREN'T MORMON. Um. . .excuse me? Are they FUCKING MORONS? Hi, um. . .those things are fun. Millions of people all over the world do them freely because they are tons and tons of fun, and any sheltered little Mormon idiot who thinks otherwise needs to stay in his or her little bubble forever so that they never have to question their beliefs or see the world for what it really is. And I am in no way trying to bash the Mormon religion here. I believe there are good reasons to avoid those things. I am bashing stupid airheaded Mormons who don't realize that their way of life isn't the only way of life. But, I have diverged from my original point. I had found the original website that sold those t-shirts, and had bookmarked it for the day when I had money to purchase said tee. So I went back one day to see if they had any new stock, and low and behold, the website has been changed to something new. I guess they crumbled under the pressure. Sad.

So today I did a search to see if anyone else was selling this t-shirt, and I did find some. I also found many MANY Mormon bashing t-shirts, as well as numerous blogs, forums, and websites dedicated to Mormon bashing. To all these people I would just like to say, "WHAT THE FUCK DID WE EVER DO TO YOU?" I really really don't understand. Sure, I was raised (from the age of 7) Mormon. But, I had to be converted myself and I am Mormon of my own free will and because I really believe it is where I need to be. My brothers are not participating in the church, and I have no problem with that because maybe it's NOT where they need to be. While I do believe that Mormonism is the most complete religion on the Earth, I don't believe you are going to Hell if you're not Mormon. I believe that Mormonism is only right for some people, and that we do not have the market on truth cornered. I believe that you can be a good person and be doing all the things that you need and be growing and learning as a person and still be Catholic, Methodist, Buddhist, or even atheist. And this is what true Mormonism is all about. Sure I know that they tell us to do the missionary work like crazy, but it's still up to the person who is being taught whether they want to participate or not. It's not a cult, there's no brainwashing, and you are free to join or not as you wish. So why the hell is that SO deplorable that people feel the need to spew hate and venom about us? I'm so upset about this that I am actually nauseous. I don't know why it has upset me so much, but maybe it's because it's so clearly wrong for us to be persecuted like that. I have never hated any group of people on so little basis so much that I feel the need to wear a t-shirt deriding them. Like, one shirt I saw said, "NotMormon: Mormonism, just say no!" Um. . .ok. Just say no. Why go around advertising that you feel that everyone should say no? I just don't get it. When I was in high school and college, I faced many blatant attacks on my religion from kids and preachers of some of the Baptist churches around here. They would revile me and tell me all kinds of things about my church that are simply not true. They would call me names and attack my intelligence. I feel that I have good reason to hate Baptists. But I don't. I know that those were misguided individuals who felt like they were doing what was right to try to help me see the light. I know that not every Baptist feels that way, or would do those things. I would never go around wearing a shirt slandering the Baptist religion. (Although I do sometimes make jokes about Baptists, but only with close friends. I know, I should be better than that. I'm sorry.) Why am I to be hated merely because I choose to belong to a church who places family above work, who places a large emphasis on community service and service to our fellow man, who teaches kindness, forgiveness, and love, who contributed more in the way of supplies and aid after the Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina than any other non-governmental organization(except maybe the Red Cross), who allows people to join as they wish and never coerces people into membership. I just don't get it.

pic probs

Sorry I haven't posted. I am working on a post, but blogger is not cooperating where it comes to uploading pictures. I will get it up ASAP. But for now, I ate too much sugar tonight, and now I am tired and I'm going to bed.

So Fabulous

I have had a pretty eventful weekend. The biggest thing that happened was that I went to see THE PET SHOP BOYS!!! It was awesome. I had the best time ever! Even when the queens behind me whouldn't shut up for most of the second half of the show. I discovered last night that the most entertaining thing in the world is ripped guys in sleeveless, skin tight, gold lame cowboy outfits doing the electric slide during "Where the Streets Have No Name." (At least that's what I think the dance is called. I'm not with it on the line dancing.) And I really liked it when everyone was gathered in one spot on the stage and if you looked out over the crowd, you could see a sea of cell phones flipped open and being held aloft, presumably to take pictures. But I don't have much time left, so I'll show you what I took away from the concert:

Everybody love quizzes!

Do you snore?
Sometimes.

Are you a lover or a fighter?
Hey, baby, there's enough pent up emotions here for both! Don't try to hold me back!

What's you worst fear?
Being a complete failure as a person. Oh yeah, and I might have mentioned maggots in the past.

As a kid, were you a Lego maniac?
Nope. They were expensive and too blocky.

What do you think of reality TV?
Yuck yuck yuckity yucky. Lame ass people doing stupid ass things. I don't count things like So You Think You Can Dance. That's more like a game show as far as I'm concerned.

Do you chew on your straws?
Nope.

Were you a cute baby?
I don't think so, but everyone else seems gaga over my baby pictures. *shrug*

Is the single life for you?
No way. I'm a cancer. We're all about the domestic life. Of course, if I could just have sex with anyone I felt like I'd be all over the single life. :)

What color is your keyboard?
Gray/Silver.

Do you sing in the shower?
No. I try it out every once in a while, but I just can't get into it.

Have you ever bungee jumped?
No, but I totally want to!

Any secret talents?
Not that I'm gonna tell you about. Don't you understand the meaning of 'secret'?

What is your ideal vacation spot?
Somewhere tropical. Or Paris. Or London. Or Tokyo. Hell, I just want top travel! Give me a chance! I'm sure I'll LOVE it!

Can you swim?
Sure.

Have you seen the movie Donnie Darko?
Yes. Although it was pretty damn disjointed because they got the reels mixed up.

Do you give a damn about the ozone?
Not really.

How many licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie Pop?
I don't know. I don't like having large hard things in my mouth for a long time. :D

Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
Yes. I rule at singing the alphabet song backwards.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?
Electric. I'm lazy.

What's your stand on hunting?
If you're gonna eat what you kill, go for it. I strongly disapprove of hunting for trophies, though.

Is marriage in your future?
If my boyfriend EVER gets around to proposing, then yes. Yes it is. Please refer to my last post which was about him asking me to go ahead and look at china patterns.

Do you like your handwriting?
Off and on.

What are you allergic to?
What AREN'T I allergic to would be easier. I am allergic to soy, malt, grapes, penicillin, grass, trees, weeds, dust, and I think I MIGHT be developing an allergies to animal hair. Fabulous.

When was the last time you said "I love you"?
This morning just before my son got out of the car.

Do you cry at weddings?
Nope. Why would I cry? Just because I'm 32 and still not married?

How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled. With cream cheese mixed in.

Are blondes dumb?
Some of them. Just like some brunettes are dumb and some red heads are dumb and so on.

Where does the other sock end up?
Who gives a fuck?

What time is it?
4:50. Why?

Do you have a nickname?
Margie IS a nickname.

Is McDonalds disgusting?
I am sadly addicted to McDonalds. It's true. I could probably eat it every other day.

When was the last time you were in a car?
An hour ago.

Do you prefer baths or showers?
Showers. Baths get cold. And you're sitting in your own dirt.

Is Santa Claus real?
Mom says we can believe in Santa and get lots of presents or not believe in him and only get one present, so. . .hell yeah, I believe!

Do you like to have your neck kissed?
Who doesn't? Are you kidding me with this?

Are you afraid of the dark?
No, but I prefer not to move around in the dark. I got my front tooth knocked out playing blind man's bluff when I was twelve and it taught me an important lesson. If it's dark, STAY PUT.

What are you addicted to?
Harry and David Moose Munch Bars, Nutella, and. . .I'm gonna have to face it. I'm addicted to love.

Crunchy or creamy peanut butter
Peanut butter should only be creamy.

Can you crack your neck?
Kinda. Not in a disturbing way.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Sure have. It was shiny.

Is drug free the way to be?
Well, without my albuterol, I could be dead, and my son wouldn't pull through without his meds. Also, my mom really needs her diabetes pills. . .oh, you mean illegal or illicit drugs! I don't mind if other people do them, but I don't want to do them or be around those people at all.

Are you a heavy sleeper?
I don't think so.

What color are your eyes?
Hazel leaning toward green.

Do you like your life?
Could be better, but it could be a WHOLE lot worse.

Are you psychic?
I like to pretend I am, but I don't think so. I have dreams that come true every once in a while. Does that count for anything?

Have you read Catcher in the Rye?
Nope.

Do you play any instruments?
Beans, beans, the musical fruit. . .

Have you ever stolen money?
I don't think so.

Can you snowboard?
No, but I could be wrong. I've never tried.

Do you like camping?
I say yes, but I go so seldom that I might not anymore.

Do you snort when you laugh?
Sometimes.

Do you believe in magic?
No. Now are you going to ask me if I believe in unicorns?

Are dogs a man's best friend?
Dogs smell and they are stupid. So, for some men, they are a perfect match.

Do you believe in divorce?
What are you Catholic? Of course I believe in divorce! Are you crazy? I don't think that someone should be forced to stay married to someone who's beating them or psychotic or just making their life unlivable. That's not something I would force on anyone.

Can you do the moonwalk?
*shrug* Who cares?

Do you make a lot of mistakes?
Repeat after me, *Margie is always right*

Is it cold outside today?
It was this morning, but now it's delightful.

What was the last thing you ate?
Half pound bacon cheese burger with homemade chips and wedge fries. I am a pig.

Do you wear nail polish?
Yes, only on my toes usually.

How many people do you like right now?
What kind of question is that? I like lots of people. Do you want me to list them all in ascending order ending with my biggest BFF? Are we in 5th grade?

What's the most annoying TV commercial?
I don't really watch TV much anymore. When I do, I usually mute it during the commercials.

Do you shop at American Eagle?
Is that a store?

Favorite song at the moment?
Dammit. Ethan just walked through singing "Can't Get No Satisfaction" and now that's all I can think of.

you want HOW much for one plate?!?

I am confused. Yesterday, I spent a portion of the day looking at china patterns. Why? Because Lawrence thought that I should. Ok. I'm confused. A) We're like, not engaged yet. So why am I looking at china patterns again? And B) Aren't I the girl? Just checking. Sometimes it's hard to tell. So I went to the Noritake website, and this is the one I like best: I have no idea if this is the pattern we will end up registering for, but there ya go. The reason this whole thing came up is because his ex-wife called him asking if he wants their china because she's only used it once in the last year. Of course, I don't really want THEIR china in MY house, but I agreed to look at it. He sent me a picture and it was super girly pink with roses and crap. Yuck. So I dodged that bullet. Anyhoo. China. Weird.

Big Tex wants to welcome you!

Yesterday my brother and his girlfriend and Lawrence and Ethan and I went to the Texas State Fair. It was tons o' fun! We spent a lot of time looking at cars and riding rides. I have decided to rate the highlights of the day for your convenience.

Directions to the Fair: D+ I printed out the directions to the fair from their website and followed them. Sadly, they told me to take the WRONG EXIT. They told me to take an exit that doesn't exist, so I ended up having to turn around and figure out where to go. It turned out to not be a big deal, as I could just follow the 14,000 other cars that were going that way, but it's the principle of the matter. If your only job is to be a website that gives people directions to your event, they should be correct.

Fair parking: B I would give the parking a higher grade except for two things. It cost freaking ten dollars, and the parking lot was kinda rough. But here's the thing: we went from our car to a train, which was all nice and air conditioned, and it delivered us right to the gate! How sweet is that! It was totally sweet.

Getting around the fair: C It is very confusing to walk around the fair. I feel like we walked like crazy, and I never could figure out where we were, even if I looked at the map. And the masses of people standing around everywhere didn't help none. If it weren't for my brother's girlfriend's mad navigation skills, we would have been toe-up.

Car shows: A- They had lots of cars. They were very friendly. Their games were free. Toyota had free fishing for the kiddies. Unfortunately, you also had to put yourself on lots of mailing lists to participate and well. . .you have to care about cars. Lawrence viewed this area much as I view a shoe store. Which meant that he was doing LOTS shopping for future reference. I signed up to win a pass to Texas State Parks. I doubt I'll win, but I bet I'll be getting lots of mail!

Rides: B+ I like the rides. I don't like the cost. We were only able to ride a few rides, but the ones we rode were kick ass!

Free biscuit samples: A+ Super yummy! I just wish they were bigger. :(

Donkey tails: A For those of you not in the know, a donkey tail is a hot dog, stuffed with cheddar cheese, wrapped in a tortilla and deep fried. I got mine with chili but tried a bite without chili. The chili makes it. Well worth trying if you go.

Fletcher's Corndogs: B Very yummy. Not worth standing in line behind 50 people for. Seriously, you can find the Fletcher's stands very easily. Just look for the big group of people that look like they're standing around waiting to get into a concert.

Homemade lemonade: B- Super yummy. Not worth $4 for about 10 oz. I can make a whole pitcher for less than that.

Turkey leg: A Great value for a really good leg, I tell you what. I didn't expect to like it, but Ethan wanted one so I had a few bites and damn it was good!

Sausage sandwich: A+ By far the largest amount of food for the lowest cost. It filled my tummy good and proper, and it was delicious to boot!

Regular Fries: C Bland and boring. They also had something called Tornado Taters. I should probably try those next time.

Vendors: A What a crazy assortment! They had all kinds of things to buy! I bought Ethan a key chain with a yellow jacket encased in resin that glows in the dark. Very cool. I was seriously tempted by the Dr Pepper beef jerky.

Bathrooms: A+ There are bathrooms around every corner in the fair. And not just porta-potties. Real bathrooms with rows of stalls and sinks and soap and everything! AND they were clean! I made about 5 stops and every single bathroom I went into was clean, even at the end of the day. Very nice.

Price: F The fair is really really freaking expensive. Seriously. It costs like 4 dollars per ride. Water is $2.50. The ferris wheel was $6 apiece. And the haunted house? 12 bucks. I kid you not. And they try to trick you. You see, all the rides and food people only take tickets. So you buy a gazillion dollars worth of tickets and you don't really realize how much you're spending. The shifty bastards.

The Ferris wheel: A- The ferris wheel at the fair is the tallest ferris wheel in the western hemisphere! It says so right by the entrance. It's like 225 feet tall I think, or somewhere around there. But, surprisingly, the line moved extremely fast, and the ride was a little longer than I expected. It really didn't seem that high though. Also. Six bucks apiece. But worth doing at least once in your life.

The weather: A The weather was amazing. It was nice and cool for the most part, and not too windy. The only reason I didn't give it an A+ was it got a mite warm in the middle of the day, but what do you expect, really? It barely barely sprinkled a few times, and started raining almost as soon as we left. What kind of great timing is that?!?

Ethan's behavior: A+++ Ethan was SO good! I was so proud of him, he didn't whine all day and didn't argue when he couldn't do what he wanted. I was surprised in the best way by his behavior. What a good boy! Also, he did something really cute. At one point, I was holding his hand and Lawrence was on the other side of him. He grabbed Lawrence's hand and pulled our hands together behind his back and then put his arms around both of us. What a sweetie.

All in all: B+ I had a great time. I'm just glad I wasn't paying.

On a related note, Lawrence and I went to Bennigan's Friday night, and I thought I'd give a few pointers;

Cheeseburger eggrolls: D- Interesting concept. Could be really good if done right. Their's aren't done right. They're mushy and mealy, not yummy like I want food to be.

Ice Cream with brownies, caramel, and hot fudge: C- Good. But freaking TEN bucks. WTF?!? If I had realized how much it costs, I NEVER would have ordered that thing.

So there you go. I recommend you go to the fair at least once in your lifetime. Save up first.

Disturbing dream theatre

And now it's time for another installment on Disturbing dream theatre! YAY! You might recall that last time we left our heroine, she was coping with advances from a certain late crocodile hunter. Well, this time, she was a member of Buffy's scooby gang. That's right, I dreamed that I was one of the characters on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy? Nope. Willow? Don't think so. Even Cordelia? Think again. I was. . .Xander. Yep. The everyguy next door, Xander. Why? No idea. So, we all were living on the moon, (what?!? it was a dream!) and it was actually kinda cool because there were invisible force fields around all the pathways, so there was air where you would be walking or whatever, then it just looked like moonscape beyond that. And since there's no weather on the moon, the walkways were all red carpet instead of cement. So we were watching this contest where people randomly draw something strange that they then have to incorporate into a play. The play we were watching had as it's random object: maggots. EWWW! So we're watching this play with maggots of all sizes doing a choreographed "dance," which was more of a repeating pattern of movement sort of thing, and the maggots are also burrowing under the carpet and I wig out because I'm afraid they might come back up on the carpet where I am, and I HATE maggots, so you can see how that might give me the wiggins. So the play ended and the gang split up and went our separate ways, except Willow and I walked together. Willow, you guessed it, came on to me, and we did the dirty deed right on the walkway. I'm beginning to worry about my subconscious mind. Seriously. Is it considered hot girl on girl action if I'm being a guy at the time? Just a thought. Anyhoo. So afterwards, the main plotline was that there was an army of gorgeous robot women (who looked like real women of course, with silver swimsuits like outfits with sticking up collars with little capes and boots and large blonde bouffant hairdos) who were trying to sex me up. They were being led by a man who looked like Vincent Price, and they were trying to get my semen for some nefarious reason, which I can't remember. Well, what did you expect? The only time gorgeous women who weren't in the main cast tried to sex Xander up was when it was part of some evil plan. So anyhoo. Weird. Sex as a guy was. . .sticky. Hey. Don't judge me. I can't help what I dream!

the icy grip of death

I came to a startling realization the other day. My dad's pushing 60! I can't believe it. It came as quite a shock to me to realize that my dad is 59. I know you're saying, "But Margie, he's your dad, don't you keep up with how old he is?" The answer is. . .no. I knew he was in his fifties, but I can barely keep track of my own age, let alone other people's age, fer pete's sake. So the other day it came up in conversation (with my BFF, who's also my brother and who ALSO didn't know my dad's age, so there) and we said, ok, dad was born in 1947 and the year is currently 2006 and he's already had a birthday this year, so some quick calculations. . .carry the one. . .is that right? More calculations. . .um. . .holy crap! Is dad really 59?!? That is something how the conversation went. It's weird. Dad doesn't seem 59. His hair is hardly grey. (In actuality the temples are a nice silver, very distinguished.) He doesn't seem wrinkly or all that grandpa-ish. This situation is totally blowing my mind. Mom on the other hand is 55 (soon to be 56) and that seems perfectly reasonable, probably because she's in a wheelchair. Gimps always seem older, ya know? Plus 55 is NOWHERE near 60. It's like lightyears from 60. 59 on the other hand is like having one foot in the grave! 60 is retirement age! It's very very strange how this happened without me noticing. I'm totally buggin.

making babies for Jesus

Sorry it's been a while since my last post, but last time I tried to post blogger erased it and it pissed me off and I didn't redo it so there. I'm not feeling very well AGAIN today, and I'm pretty sure my son has a sinus infection. When I asked him what color his snot is, he pointed to the INSANELY bright yellow writing on his shirt and said it was that color, but duller. Great. I told him to drink lots of water and get lots of citrus and if he wasn't better in a couple of days I would take him to the doctor. I figure there's no point in pumping him full of more antibiotics than he already gets in his beef and milk unless it's absolutely necessary, right? So, we'll see how that turns out.

Lately, it has been a Veronica Mars pallooza around here. I bought season 2, which mom and Joe watched, and now I am watching all day every day at work. Tonight is the season premiere of season three! *squeal!* I am so excited! It's gonna rock! I've also been excited because October is finally here, which means that we are officially in PET SHOP BOYS month! Hooray! Just 19 more days till I see them live and in person! Tee hee!

Lawrence's dad bought him a ticket to go to Pennsylvania for 6 days in December, where his sister lives and where all his family is gathering this year for their holiday jubilee. Lawrence is thinking about buying me a ticket to go out for a few of those days. It's so weird to think that I am forever more going to be dividing my holiday time between my family, my husband and child, and his family. Bizarro. You know, over the years, being Mormon and all, I've often looked at these 19-22 year old girls who get married to mister cute return missionary and have a little baby for Jesus, and most of the time my thought is, "Thank heavens that's not all there is to MY life!" But other times I've wondered what I've done wrong that I don't deserve that kind of happiness. And then I remember that I went and got myself knock-up when I was 21 and I say, "oh yeah, that's what happened." But now that I am about to get that life, I'm thinking, "Holy crap! This sounds really freaking hard and scary!" But that's ok, most of the time I'm just looking foward to getting started. And to having sex again. That would be awesome. But I digress. I hope his family doesn't think I'm a freak or gold digger or sumtin awful like that.

I'm going to be late getting back to work again. Oh well, I was ten minutes early this morning, so it all balances out. I'm about to get into the baby kidnapping episodes that I missed when VM season 2 originally aired, so this is gonna be exciting! I hope you too have a very Veronica evening!

Hoping. . .each time. . .that his next leap will be the leap. . .HOME

Today, after many months of not watching, and a solid week of at work watching, I finally finished season three of Quantum Leap! YAY! I must admit, I had a slow start on the season, and I went a long time without watching it at all, but then either I got into it or the episodes got better, because I got way into it. I left it up at work over the weekend, and I kept thinking about how if I brought it home with me, I coulda fit in a episode here and there. Now at the end, I think it might be my favorite season so far. Especially the last episode where Sam leapt into a mental patient and immediately got hit with a huge electroshock that fried his brain and made him revert to various former hosts that he had inhabited. It was sad and touching. And then, at the end when he leaps out, it showed that the next ep is my favorite one where Al is solid and Sam is the hologram. Now I need season 4. Dammit! And I need season 3 of Buffy. And season 2 of Veronica Mars. Grr. And Christmas isn't for months! Am I doomed to have to spend my own money on these things?!? The horror! The ignominy! The brokeness of my bank account! *sigh*

Dance Mutha Fuckers, Dance Mutha Fuckas, Dance

I got new muuuusic! I got new muuuusic! I'm so HAPPY! I was getting absolutely sick of the radio, and my cd's have gotten a little stale, so I needed more, and now I have them!

I bought 2 cd's to replace some of the scratchy ones that I had already:

Madonna: The Immaculate Collection
They Might Be Giants: Flood

I also bought cd's that I DIDN'T previously own. These are they:

Banarama: Greatest Hits (Bland bubble gum pop for when I don't feel like having a brain.)
100% Pure Dance (I thought this cd had different songs than it does. I'm pretty disappointed with it)
Material Issue: The Best of Material Issue (I bought this for "Valerie Loves Me," and it's a good thing, cause I'm not terribly impressed with the rest.)
Franz Ferdinand: Franz Ferdinand (What can I say? It's Franz Ferdinand. It's what you'd expect. I'll probably listen to this one when I'm tired of Fall Out Boy.)
The Magnetic Fields: i (So good. Very offbeat, though. You'd definitely have to be in the mood. Cainnum would probably really like this one.)
The Darkness: Permission to Land (I really like "I Believe in a Thing Called Love." Now that I've heard the cd, I can honestly say. . .I really like "I Believe in a Thing Called Love.")

Now I have the new music bug. I want MORE! Oh dear. I wonder if there's a 12 step program for this sort of thing.

What would Freud say?

Since most people don't wanna touch my last post with a ten foot pole, I thought it was time to write something a little more disturbing. It just makes sense really. You all know that I've had an unexplained fever for 5-6 days, and with fever comes weird dreams. Last night I had the weirdest. dream. ever. I dreamed that Steve Irwin tried to seduce me. Yes. The Steve Irwin. He wasn't dead in my dream, thank heavens. Understand that I do not find Steve Irwin attractive in any way, at all, ever. So it's particularly strange that I would have a naughty dream about him now that he's a goner. He didn't succeed in the seduction, by the way, but that's mostly cause my alarm went off, thank the gods. So, ya know. That's the sort of thing that I would normally just shudder and try to forget, but thanks to technology, I can share it with all of you. Aren't you so happy!

We're both tiger's on the Chinese zodiac, that's where the problems come from

*Sigh* My life hasn't exactly been sunshine and flowers lately. I've been running a fever for no apparent reason for three days. As a result, I am cranky and keep taking things the wrong way and getting into fights with people. Also, yesterday I had a pretty big altercation with my mom. Here's the gist of it. I told Ethan to get in the parent pick up line yesterday. I even did it by the numbers and sent his teacher a note saying that he should not ride the bus home, but should get in the parent pick up line. The reason I needed to pick him up at 3:15 is because mom had a doctor's appointment at 3:45, which would be cutting things pretty darn close. So I go to pick him up. After waiting in line FOREVER, we get to the front of the line, and. . .I bet you can see it coming. . .no Ethan. The people who are running the line are no help at all and just keep calling his name over and over even though I can see all the kids and have told them that Ethan in not there. Finally I get them to reveal to me where a kid would wait for the parent walk up line. I go to the spot, and I ask a lady if I can park on the side to walk up to the right spot and she says yes. So I park and go to the doors, and they are locked. I look around inside and can't see anyone. I go back to the lady and ask how you get to the kids if the doors locked. She tells me that the kids that are left are the two standing right there. Ok, what the fuck did she think I wanted to know where to pick up kids for?!? So I realize that Ethan has gotten in the bus. At this point, I realize that my 9 year-old son who has NEVER stayed home by himself before ever is going to arrive home to find no people and no explanations, and that mom is going to be late for her doctor's appointment. I tell mom to call her doctor and cancel. She FREAKS OUT hard core. She starts crying and saying she can't miss this appointment because of blah blah blah. So I say FINE, I'll take her to her appointment and Ethan will just be home all alone. Now I have no problem with Ethan being home alone, he is nine for pete's sake. My problem is him being home alone with no preparation or warning. Ethan is a worrier, and I knew that if he came home and found no one there, he would freak out and think that someone got sick or died or something. I think that because that's exactly what I thought when I was a kid and would come home to an empty house. So she comes up with the idea to call dad (who is a telephone man driving around our town all day) and ask him to go by the house between 3:45 and 4 and explain to Ethan what's going on. OK, fine. So I'm still pretty pissed at mom, and eventually I tell her that, "I just thought my son was more important than your doctor's appointment. I guess my priorities are all screwed up." This starts round two. She was all screaming that she's had to reschedule appointments three times and she has to go today because it's so horrible for her to get people to take her because they always get mad and I don't know how horrible it is to be her and so on and so forth. First off, she goes to the doctor like every week, so I don't see what the big deal of missing one is, and then I ask why she can't just call because she's going to get lab results and she can get those over the phone and she tells me no, they need to draw more blood. I tell her that I can't speak for anyone else, but the reason I get mad when I have to take her to the doctor all the freaking time is because she did this to herself. She has refused to lose weight or to exercise and she has let herself get sicker and sicker and now WE are the one's having to pay the price. I said that it has taken the doctor telling her that her kidneys are failing and her losing her sense of taste for her to even start cutting back on her eating, and that I know there's nothing she can do about it now, but it still doesn't seem fair. She said well maybe she should just kill herself so that she's not such a bother. I just rolled my eyes. That's her kind of highly emotionally charged fighting tactics that just make me want to leave and never come back. Some time passed, and she starting talking about the conditions that being fat or skinny wouldn't have any affect on, and I told her that it was true, but being skinny sure would make dealing with those problems easier. (There was more to that, but it's boring, so ya know.) So some more time passes with her crying quietly until she finally says, "You can't judge me until you've walked in my shoes." By this time, I'm feeling like I should try to lighten the mood a little, so I say, "I have walked in you shoes. They're very uncomfortable." She says bitterly, "You HAVEN'T walked in my shoes!" So I reply in a harsh tone, "You're RIGHT. I haven't walked in your shoes. Because when I hit 260 pounds, I decided to LOSE WEIGHT!" Yeah, I know. Low blow. So I got her to the doctor's office and drop her off and tell her that I will go get Ethan then come back. I immediately start calling the house every three minutes. Finally I get dad, who tells me Ethan isn't there yet. I ask if he's gonna wait for him, and he says he's out of area and he's supposed to be in Bartonville right now. So I ask him to just leave Ethan a note and I will keep calling. Then he calls me back and he's told Ethan he has to stay in the house and can't have visitors. Shew, that's taken care of. Then mom calls and the doctor's office says she doesn't have an appointment. WHAT THE FUCK?!? So I tell her that I'm still in Denton, I can turn around and get her, but she finds her appointment card and goes to show them. They admit that it's their fault (Well, yeah!) and they work her in. Of course, they can only draw the blood because THE FUCKING DOCTOR ISN'T FUCKING THERE. AGAIN. He's never fucking there. GAR. Apparently this time he had to fly to San Francisco suddenly. I keep telling mom she needs to change fucking doctors. There's always a 3-4 hour wait and that's just to see the Nurse Practitioner! Anyhoo. So, that was all pretty stressful. Then Lawrence didn't want to get together last night because he'd had a really hard day and was tired, and I started crying on the phone. I tried not to and a I tried to hide it, but he could tell, and he came over. But because I've been running a fever and have a cold sore, he wouldn't kiss me at all. I guess he doesn't want to get sick for some reason. Geez. So, all in all, I've had better days in my life. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Fiddle dee dee.

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Well, the worst has happened. I am in full-on nesting mode. I've been planning and plotting all along about how I'm going to decorate Lawrence's house when I move in, (I say decorate rather than RE-decorate because his house is completely bland and beige. Sad but true.) and I've given a little thought to his landscaping. He lives in suburbia, and all his neighbors have landscaped yards, but he just has weeds. Well, last night we invited a girl from church over for ice cream, and we got to talking about his yard and it turns out she is hardcore into yard work. She knows all about what plants to use for what sunlight and stuff like that. Stuff that I have no knowledge on what-so-ever. But she was talking, and it got me all excited about landscaping. I spent all my lunchbreak looking up information on the internet about plants and trees. I got so engrossed that I looked at my watch and realized that I was ten minutes late and I hadn't even left my house yet. We're thinking about planting some kind of tree in the front and putting up a trellis against the wall along the walkway for some kind of vine. I'm thinking morning glories and sweet peas. Also, Lawrence wants to plant flowers to attract butterflies, which I think we would put in a raised bed under the bay windows in front. I'm so excited, I want to start today, but I know this isn't really the right time to start planting things. Grrr. Isn't this bizarre and weird? I guess the second I get the whiff of a place to call my own, my cancerness kicks in full force. Who woulda thunk?

Road Raging

Over the past few months I have noticed an interesting phenomena. I am an aggressive driver. I drive fast. I take the lane when I need it. I pass drivers who are going slow. I don't believe that I am a dangerous or crazy driver, just that I drive at the more aggressive end of the driving spectrum. I always have. I drove that way when I had a grey Ford Taurus. I drove that way when I had a beat up Sunbird. I drove that when when I had a older model Ford Explorer. Now I have a new, somewhat sporty bright blue/purple Chevy Impala with windows that are practically black and a black car bra on the front. And suddenly drivers are responding to me in a completely different way. Before when I would try to pass someone, every once in a while they would speed up to make it more difficult for me, but usually they would slow down and let me by. Before when I wove in and out of traffic, people usually let me in. Suddenly, I find that people are speeding up to block me or creating a purposeful moving road block or racing me almost 95% of the time! It's weird! I am the same person, driving the same way I always have, yet now that I drive a nice looking car people act like I'm an asshole. I don't even have to DO anything and I find people road raging at me! It's the most bizarre thing. It's really interesting the psychological effect your vehicle can have on people. It's also interesting the effect it has on me. I'm getting a bazooka installed next week.

Things I hate, revisited

I decided it's time to cover the list of things I hate. I like to keep up to date on these things. It's important to be able to identify and list the things you hate so you don't get confused. So, without further ado:

Scorching heat: Strangely, despite the fact that I have lived in Texas all my life, I still hate being so hot if feels as if my skin is melting off. You'd think I'd adjust. Some mammals are so unadaptable!

The owner of my building at work: This guy has major little man syndrome. He's shorter than me, and he drives a HUGE jacked up F-250 pick up truck. It's gigantic, and it pisses me off to no end. Plus, on the back window, he has a huge Oakley sticker. Can anyone say poser? So not only does this man drive an unnecessarily gargantuan vehicle, he parks it in the best spot, right next to the door. If he gets there late and can't get the best spot, he goes down and actually MOVES his truck while everyone's gone for lunch! Can you believe that? It's not like this is a mall parking lot. There's only about 20 spots, so I have no problem walking to a further spot. My problem is that his truck is so freakin huge that you can't see around it to back up. So by the time you've backed out enough to see whether cars are coming, they're having to swerve around you to avoid hitting you. When I was driving dad's huge truck, I parked at the end so that nobody was parking near me. He is a selfish ass, and I physically have to restrain myself from keying his truck on a regular basis.

Nazis: Sure, they have kick ass fashions. But a great sense of style does NOT give a person a right to attempt genocide.

Catholic art: Statue of Christ: Slightly off putting, but tolerable. Statue of Christ with blood dripping from his thorn of crowns and his heart, which he is TOUCHING, sticking out of his chest for God only knows whatever reason: FREAKY. Seriously, what's up with that shit? Who wants to see that? Catholic artists must be some fucked up freaks.

Ham

My boyfriend's job: which has been taking all of his free time and turning him into a slobbering brain damaged lump of stress whom I hardly get any time with anymore and when I do get time he's not his old self cause he's useless for anything other than jumping nervously everytime the phone rings and having a facial twitch.

People at church asking if I'm engaged YET: No. NO. I'm not engaged yet. If I were engaged, you would see a FUCKING RING. Do you see a fucking ring? Then I'm not fucking engaged yet. SO FUCKING LAY OFF! At first, it was slightly amusing, but now it has become seriously fucking tiresome, so FUCKING STOP IT.

Video game bugs: I hate when games crash. And it seems like they do it at the worst possible time. Like when you've been working SO hard to make it to a certain point, and you're ALMOST there, and you say, "You know, I haven't saved in a while, I better save before I go in this castle," and BAM. That's when it happens. And you lose two hours of gameplay. If not more. I had a version of Oregon Trail that crashed right as you got to Oregon, everytime. Doesn't that suck? All that travel and no payoff! What? Yeah, I play Oregon Trail! I happen to love Oregon Trail, and have since I was in fifth grade. You got a problem with that? Well, do ya punk?

My mom: No really. I love my mom. But I really hate her too. The idea that I could be married eventually and actually move out of her house has made living with her almost unbearable. She doesn't even have to do anything and I want to roll my eyes and leave the room. I think I might be damaged.

Getting burned: I got burned on my fingers this week. It sucks.

MySpace: I used to enjoy MySpace. I don't know what happened. I think I got a life or something. Weird. I really don't like strangers sending me messages or requesting a spot on my friend's list. I really don't like 14 year olds, which MySpace is rife with. I really don't like strangers sending me propaganda against my religion. That happened. WTF? Who does he think he is? It really pissed me off. I leave my profile up so that I can stay in touch with certain people, but it's really getting stale as far as I'm concerned.

Having to stay in contact with people I don't care about: Used to be, you work with someone and you enjoy working with them alright, but you don't really have much in common beside working together, and then one day one of you quits and you never speak to them again, and no one cares. Well, no more my friends! Now you exchange email addresses, and you have to stay in contact with them for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. But, of course, they never answer the emails where you ask them how they're doing or anything, instead they send you perpetual emails about how if you love God you won't delete this and will send it on to prove you're not ashamed, or emails about how important you are and you're such a good friend complete with annoying pictures of watercolor cherubs and a really lame-ass poem, and you have to send this to at least 5 other people who make a difference in your life. Gack. Do me a favor. Keep your stupid forwards. I'll send you an email when I get married or die and you can do the same, oh-kay?

Mormons: Yes, yes, I am fully aware that I am Mormon. But DEAR LORD some Mormons are so freaking annoying! I'm not even joking. Why, as a group, do they have to be so holier-than-thou and goody two shoes? Why is it that only a few of us have figured out that you can be Mormon without being really annoying and without being a big old goober? (I realize I leave myself open to a barrage of insults at this juncture. I say to you, take the high road, man. Take the high road.)

People who drive slow

Mattress commercials and car commercials: Seriously. Why do I need to hear a mattress commercial at EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK? I will buy a mattress every, what? 5-10 years? I think that when the time comes, I can find a mattress with, say, a commercial just once an hour. Really. I know, I know, it's crazy, but I really don't think I need to be reminded every 15 minutes that I can possibly buy something that I will really only need a few times in my life time. And car commercials. SO loud. So annoying. I'm speaking not of the ones from the makers, which can actually be kinda cute. I'm speaking of dealership commercials. Grrr. They make me want to stab people. And I can't tell you how many mattress stores and car dealerships I will NEVER go to based SOLELY on their annoying ads. Sad really.

Well, I should stop. If I list everything I hate this could take tomes, or maybe fill up the entire internet. These are just the things that have been preying on my mind lately. Feel free to add to my list. I'm sure what you hate is something I hate. I have plenty of hate to share.

Meet the Parents

Last week, my entire life flashed before my eyes. My future life, that is. Lawrence told me that his parents are coming to visit in November, and they SPECIFICALLY said they want to meet me. How disturbing. I mean, I know that the day had to come eventually, but to be faced with the actuality is frightening. What if they don't like me? What if I don't like them? (That's a distinct probability according to Lawrence.) Lawrence's mom is fugly. I've seen pictures. Sad but true. Suddenly, confronted with this, I saw the years fly by in my head, complete with future Christmasses, funerals, family reunions, etc. I don't even like my OWN extended family, and suddenly I'll have a whole bunch more and I don't even have the advantage of shared DNA to smooth the way. *sigh* They also asked if they'll be meeting Ethan on this trip and Lawrence was like, hold on, let's take this one step at a time. I wonder if they will meet my parents while they are here? Weird. It's kinda freaking me out to be honest. My reaction is kinda, "HOLD ON! WAIT! This is adult stuff! I'm not ready for this! I'm a free spirit, you can't tie me down!" Although, of course, that's ridiculous. I'm 32. How old does my subconscious think I need to be to get married? My mother once told me that she felt like an 18 year old that wakes up every morning in the body of an old lady. I really didn't understand what she meant at the time. I mean, I wouldn't say that I feel like an 18 year old. More like a 21 year old. It's weird, I know, and I know I've learned and changed since then, but I still feel like a kid at heart. Well, as much of a kid as I ever was, which is not much. I mean really, I've always been a cranky old lady at heart. When I was at recess, one of my favorite activities was arranging the fallen leaves into life-size house floor plans. In elementary school, I would scowl at the stupid childish antics of the other kids. I was the one the teacher told to take names when she left the room. Yeah. Like I said, I wasn't much of a kid. But anyway. So, that's something that's been happening with me. But, I can put that out of my head, because before the fateful meeting comes the Pet Shop Boys concert! YAY!

Funny things

Here are some funny things that I have heard or read recently:

Funniest thing I've heard recently:

"I'm a tiny invincible guy." -my son, while playing New Super Mario Bros, after getting a tiny mushroom and a star.

Funniest song line I've heard recently:

"Sometimes it makes me want to laugh. Sometimes it makes me want to take my toaster in the bath." -Blink 182. Don't remember the name of the song, but it's track 2 on the greatest hits album.

Funniest text message:

Me: "Argh. Yer booty shivers me timbers!"
My boyfriend: "Then prepare to be boarded!"

Funniest joke:

"A guy was complaining that his Texan girlfriend ate ranch dressing on everything, and he just didn't get it. Later in the week, he complained to the same friend that she wouldn't go down on him. His friend said, 'well, have you tried putting ranch on it?'" That joke's not so funny for itself, but I am unusually amused by the idea of putting ranch on a guy's wanker. I don't know why. Just smile and nod.

Funniest polite action

My boyfriend trying not to brush stuff off of my shirt (specifically in the breasticle area) while my son was standing next to him. Maybe you had to be there.

ok. that's all I think. good day.

evolution of the language

My brother has invented a new swear word, and I quite like it. It is smack-dammit! I think we should propagate this word. We should all start saying it, nurture it and let it grow. I expect to hear each and every one of you saying smack-dammit before the week is out, SMACK-DAMMIT!

My stupid car loan people refuse to accept the fact that I have insurance. My insurance people swear they have sent the car loan people the policy. Now I have received a letter from my car loan people saying that since I won't get insurance, they are buying it for me, and it will cost $86.50 a month. I am already paying $82 for full coverage! Gar. How annoying. The insurance lady says she will call them, so I need to fax this letter to her so she can do that. So SO annoying.

I have to go back to work now. See ya!

Seven. Not the kind with severed heads and crap.

Since I now have a relatively normal life that is sans Soap Opera love life drama, I am the most boring. blogger. ever. I almost feel the need to make up Jared stories to spice things up a bit. But, sad to say, my love life is awesome, my boyfriend is amazing, my friends are intelligent and supportive, my job is satisfying and pays well, and my life looks to be going nowhere but up. Which is very satisfying and joyful. But makes for a life that you really don't really want to hear about. Sad but true. Maybe I should purposefully introduce drama into my life so that you can be entertained! I remember at the end of one of my favorite books, a Heinlein book called "Friday," the main character. . .Friday. . .says that years pass that you, the reader, wouldn't find interesting, years of raising babies and making dinners and living life. I never really understood that until now. So, here to fill the hole left by my happiness, I present to you a cut and paste quiz that my friend Kiera wants me to do. So there you go.

7 Things I want to do before I die:
-have sex again
-learn to play an instrument
-learn Japanese
-travel the world
-open an art gallery
-finish college
-master SOMETHING athletic (some kind of dance, marshal art, or sport)

7 Things I cannot Do:
-touch my toes without bending my knees
-make pancakes
-drive a stick
-do housework in my pajamas
-learn how to play poker
-eat soy and soy products
-a cartwheel

7 Things that attracted me to my spouse (I'm not married, so this is about my boyfriend):
-he's nice
-he's thoughtful
-we could (and did) talk for hours
-his broad shoulders
-he's financially stable
-he has a real job
-he's a good Mormon man

*bonus reason-he's not 10 years younger than me! :)

7 Things I say often:
- right?!?
-you know what I'm saying?
-I hear ya
-Can I poke you in the eye?
-oh holy crap
-ok, here's the plan. . ./So, what's the plan, here?
-I will stab you.

7 Books I am currently reading/are on the reading list:
-The Fairy Godmother by Mercedes Lackey
-The Unhandsome Prince by John Moore
-Bad Prince Charlie by John Moore
-The next Terry Goodkind book. . .someday
-The Book of Mormon by God
-uh. . .I don't really read with an itinerary, I usually see how I feel when I finish a book.
-the only reason I have so many on my list right now is because my boyfriend loaned all these to me

7 Movies I could watch over and over:
-French Kiss
-Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat
-Amelie
-O Brother Where Art Thou?
-So I Married an Ax Murderer
-The Hudsucker Proxy
-Shaun of the Dead

7 People I'd like to See do a list like this:
-Josh
-Cainnum
-Dave
-High Maintenance Hussy (Even though she doesn't do her blog anymore)
-Lawrence (Even though he doesn't have a blog)
-Joe (Ditto)
-Bobbie (ditto ditto)

Now I am certified to wear spandex shorts

Herro! Some good things have been happening to me lately. I am now the proud owner of a new bike. It is pretty. When I ride it I wobble around like a little kid. Here is what it looks like:

I took the picture from an artistic picture, complete with our kitty to add interest. Do you like it? Now I can ride bikes with my son, who has constantly been ASKING me to, every since he got his own new bike that his grandfather gave him. Well, not constantly, as he's been spending the better part of the last week and a half with his paternal grandparents because his cousin is visiting for two weeks. So I've been Ethan free once again. I actually miss him sometimes. See! I DO have a uterus and estrogen! Yay!

The second good thing that happened was kinda weird. It's really slow at work right now. Like, REALLY slow. This week, I worked 2 1/2 days. So, being concerned with money, I decided to not pay extra on all my credit cards like I usually do, but rather to only pay the minimum due. Not wanting to bother finding all my most current statements, I just called the number on the back of each card to get an automated voice telling me just the information I want to hear. When I called Citicard, I entered my number as instructed, and there was a long silence, then an operator came on. I told him I was sorry, I was just trying to get the automated thingy to tell me my due date and amount due. He said it was really slow, so he doesn't mind. He told me my due date, and then asked me to hold for my amount due. I held, and when he came back, he told me my amount due, but explained to me that my accounts in default for some reason, and he was going to check on it. I though this was weird as I make my payments regularly, but it would certainly explain why I got a letter last month saying that my interest rate was going up substantially. When he came back on the line, he told me that I had missed a payment in February, and he adjusted it to take care of that missed payment so it's not all skewed and he said lots of stuff involving words like 'transfer', 'balance', 'principle', and 'interest'. Don't ask me, I just smile and nod. But long story short *too late* he said that my account is no longer in default and he got my interest rate reduced by 6%! How sweet is that! I told him that this is why I love Citicard. Everytime I call an operator, they totally got my back. So, I am pretty damn happy about that. Yay!

People have been asking me what Juliana's fiance looks like, so in response to inquiring minds, I decided to post the picture that came with the invite. Here you go:

Ok. The technology is failing me. I have tried three times to upload this picture, and three times, it has told me it worked, and just not been here. So I guess it's not to be. Make that four times. I decided to try again, but to no avail. So sorry.

Today I was so tired, I came home from work at one, and mom wanted to go to lunch so we did, then I came home and slept for three hours. That's not like me. Weird.

Anyhoo. I've lost all momentum here, and So You Think You Can Dance is about to start, so I guess I'll see ya round. Peace out, yo!

Oh yeah! PS-the more commercials I see for Snakes on a Plane, the more in love with this movie I am! Seriously, I want to see that flick so BAD! It looks cheez-a-rific!

I have been an irresponsible blogger. . .

and I apologize. I have not been posting as I should. But, since I've been PMSing unusually badly this week, the posts that I might have made would not have been pleasant.

Ethan is staying with his paternal grandmother this weekend, and my parents and BFF went to Austin, so I have been free! Free of obligations, both filial and social. It's been kinda nice. I am sitting here at the computer surfing and blogging, and my mother is not sighing and hanging around because SHE wants to use the computer to play luxor or something; neither is she lecturing me on how I SHOULD be spending less time on the computer and MORE time with my son. I figure, he's nine. Does he want to spend every waking moment with me? No. He wants to play video games and ride his bike down to his friend's house. But since SHE'S completely codependent and has to spend every waking hour with someone, preferably one of her children, she thinks everyone should be the same way. Man, this totally reminds me of how smothered I always felt as a child. And as an adult. I mean, I used to do things that were against the rules so that I would get sent to my room so that I could read or just be by myself. I started that before I was even in school. If I just went to CLEAN my room, mom would keep calling me into the room she was in and demand that I spend time with her. How nuts is that? But, I digress. After this, I will probably go play Psychonauts. Yesterday I finished the milkman conspiracies level and started into the insane asylum. It's such a fun game! I also took this opportunity to shower with the bathroom door open! Nah. I couldn't do it. I still had to shut the door, just in case Joe came home from his girlfriend's house. But I did walk to the bathroom partially naked! HA! In your face family living! TAKE THAT! (And when I say partially naked, I mean with just my white bikini cut panties on, for anyone who feels like picturing the scene.) (Ignore that last aside if you are one of my brothers.) (D'oh. I should have said THAT aside first, huh?)

Now let's see. This post had drama (with the PMS), cute kids, tension (the mom part), and nudity. What's missing? AH! Explosions! Uh. . .I saw a commercial this morning where the guy's car exploded! How's that? Man, this could totally be a blockbuster! Who wants to write the screenplay?

Happy day. . .another girl off the market

Today I received an envelope addressed to "Sexy M and friends." So, friends, here's the news. Juliana is getting married! The bitch, stealing my thunder. Ehem. We are invited to her reception on August 19th at 4 pm. This is occurring in Rockwall, TX, where ever the hell that is. I hear about it on the news sometimes, so it must not be too far. Ewww, at the country club! Fancy! Oh, Expedia says it's only an hour from my house in BFE, so that's not bad. Not like Shemsi and Andy's reception. I mean DAMN! That was like, what 14 hours? Oh. . .uh. . .anyway. :) According to Julianna, she moved to Arkansas to take care of her grandfather and met the perfect guy. So, congratulations are in order, and clear your calendar for that day if you're going. Skomps!

Dumb God and Jesus people

Today at church, I was stimulated to new heights of confusion at the stupidity of my fellow men. My bishop stood up, and taught a brief lesson about why we all need to get health insurance. He had an overhead of a medical bill and showed us how much it would have cost the person if they didn't have insurance. He told us that although many of us already have insurance, those of us who don't really need to get it. Oh! REALLY?!? I didn't realize that medical expenses could really add up! Now that I know, I'll rush out an get insurance straight away! I mean, geez people. Why do you think we don't have insurance? Cause we don't FEEL like it? No, it's because we can't afford it, dumbass. So after church, I ran into one of the members of the bishopric, and I mentioned to him my feelings on this. He directed me to speak to his wife, who informed me that I couldn't afford NOT to have insurance. I said, no really, I can't afford it. I asked her if I should stop making my car payment or what. She asked what I do. I told her that I am a dental technician, and it pays really well, but I still can't afford insurance. She told me I need to CHANGE JOBS and get one with benefits. Oh, just like that, huh? I told her that I don't have education or training to do anything else, and my job is pretty competitive, once you find something, you have to stick with it. She told me that, No, I really needed to just change jobs. I told her that I didn't think she understood the job market right now. She told me she did, her and her husband both are self employed and pay over $800 a month for insurance. I said that it's nice that she has those kinds of resources.
Then I ran into the bishop himself. I expressed my feelings on the issue to him, and he also told me that I couldn't afford to NOT have insurance. Was that part of the orientation or something? I told him that I really COULDN'T afford it, that I really want insurance and I've ran the numbers every way I could, and I simply can't afford it. He said that he guesses I'll find out when I get a $20,000 hospital bill. *!* I told him that I do know because I had to pay $2000 for my ankle hole and I STILL can't afford it. He seemed dubious.
I happen to know that my bishop works for American Airlines and make a 6 figure salary. Now it's all well and good for him to say that you can't afford to not have insurance, but I live in the real world. Some of us have to choose to pay bills and eat OR to have insurance. Hmmm. Tough decision. You would think the bishop would understand that. He deals all the time with people who can't make ends meet. What the fuck?

Another thing that bothered me today is that they have scheduled a primary activity (primary being the organization for kids 3-12) for Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning? Oh, cause I guess every single woman in the church is a stay at home mom that can just run the kids over to the activity in between baking bread and having her nails done! Yeah, I'm a single mother, and I have a little thing we call a job! Grr. How annoying! AND it's a swim party none the less. Like I can tell my son, who loves swimming even more than he loves video games, Oh no, sorry honey, you can't go to the swim party cause I'll be at work. Why don't you pile that on top of the anger you have for all the after school extracurricular activities and friend's parties that you've missed because of my job, roll that up with the feelings of betrayal you have for me going back to work when you were one, and pack that in real tight with the feelings of abandonment you have from your father moving away when you were three. That should make a nice little cocktail of anti-social behavior around the time you hit 15. But I digress. Fortunately, I called a lady who lives nearby, and she is willing to pick Ethan up and take him. Sadly, she actually lives in the neighborhood where the party is taking place, but she still agreed. I would have been annoyed, but she's a sweeter lady than myself.

In conclusion, people are dumb. Or maybe I need to not be so sensitive? Nah, it couldn't be MY fault!

He lives in a clock with no parents? What's up with that?

Guess what time it is? That's right! It's time for my weekly Mister Rodgers rant! YAY!

Now, I have a great respect for Fred Rodgers, may he rest in peace. I've heard interviews with him, and he was intelligent, articulate, educated, sincere, and genuinely kind. He said things in those interviews that were so profound and wise that they actually brought tears to my eyes. He was truly a great man. But. You all know my opinion on having to watch a show aimed at three-year-olds EVERYDAY.

Over the past few days, the storyline in the land of make believe has been centered around Daniel Striped Tiger. Cereal has been raining on his clock and he's been scared and didn't know what to do about it.
Now I understand that all of the characters in make believe are supposed to represent different things that kids might feel or experience in a non-sensical, yet safe, environment. Like how Lady Elaine is supposed to show kids that everyone can be a demanding psychotic bitch sometimes, and that's ok. Or maybe how to deal with demanding psychotic bitches, I'm not sure which. Well, Daniel Striped Tiger is a whiney little scaredy cat. Pun intended. Always has been, always will be. But for the past few days he has been so annoying that I want to go dig up Mister Rodgers and kick his decaying ass. I mentioned to mom that I hate Daniel Striped Tiger and she said, "That's because you hate weakness. You always have." This brought forth amusing fantasies about cute little 3-4 year old me, playing on the playground when another child starts crying or whining for no good reason. (No good reason being anything short of losing a limb.) I tell the kid to suck it up, and when they don't I yell, "Stop being a baby!" And bitch slap them. This fantasy amused me all afternoon. Tee hee. Little kid bitch slaps! That's good stuff. Hmm. Maybe I've been watching too much Beavis and Butthead. Ahahaha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Sick and tired

I woke up bummed this morning. And my head hurts and my nose keeps running. I am sick of feeling like crap all the damn time.

I like ice cream!

The other day when I came home for lunch, I was STARVING. But sadly, there was no food to be found. Mom told me to eat a Lean Cuisine frozen dinner, which I said was too small, but she said I could eat something else after I was done. I reluctantly agreed, and when I was done with the dinner, I still had the problem that we have no food. So I had a huge bowl of ice cream. I just love the irony. I had a Lean Cuisine meal and ice cream. hee hee.

I have a friend that has been my friend for over a decade. I was friends with her and her husband before they even met. Now she has filed for divorce. Sometimes I feel like there's no point in trying to get married because it never works out. But she's agreed to go to therapy rather than just getting divorced, so maybe there's hope after all. *sigh* The whole thing just makes me sad.

I had something else I was gonna say, but now I can't remember what. This happens to me everytime I go to blog, dammit.

Ethan's dad and stepmom miss him terribly. They really want him to come back up there. But they are willing to live with the agreement. They're just having a hard time with it.

Man, this post is a downer. Remember at the beginning, when I was saying that it's funny that I had a lean cuisine dinner and some ice cream? Remember that? Huh? That was pretty funny, huh? Ah, good times.

This afternoon, my boss came up to me and asked, "When are you leaving today?" Now how awesome is it that I have reached a point in my life where I can basically set my own hours? Don't get me wrong, I couldn't just say, "Hey, I'm taking two weeks off, see ya on the flip flop," but if I go to my boss and say, "Hey, I need Tuesday off," or "I'm tired of working, I'm leaving early today," his response is usually, "OK." How cool is that? If there's lots of work due then he might tell me I have to work Saturday or come in early some days to make up for it, and of course I'm paid by the hour, so it's in my own interest to work more, but still! That's why it's four o'clock and I am home already. Which is totally sweet.

I have a new guilty pleasure. I the time that I've been sick and forced to stay home more (also due to Ethan's return) I have discovered "So You Think You Can Dance?" Now normally I avoid so called "Reality TV" but for some reason, this show has drawn me in like dirty magazines beckoning to a teen aged boy. I have my favorite guy and girl even. My favorite guy is Benji, an adorable (in a puppish way) Mormon boy from Salt Lake City who's recently returned from his mission. He's always smiling and having fun, and he's an awesome dancer. He can be serious if the dance calls for it, too, not like some of the OTHER dancers who are ALWAYS smiley. I find that annoying. My favorite girl is Natalie. She is hot hot HOT. She has an awesome body, and she has an amazingly beautiful face, with wide eyes and a wide smile, but she's also humble and takes the judges criticsms as they are intended and incorporates their advice into her dance. This week they got paired together, and it was AMAZING! I totally loved it. I loved Benji's old partner Donyelle, who is a full figured and gorgeous girl, with mad dancing skills, but I just like Natalie a little better for some reason. There are other people I like, but those are my favorites. So. . .yeah. I watch reality tv now. Weird.

The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated

I think I'm finally better! Hooray! My rash is down to a few sad bumps that don't even itch and I didn't feel tired today at all. YAY!! Don't tell my mom. Maybe I can milk it for a little while longer. :)

I still want my nutella. Dammit. I have GOT to go to Josh's house soon!

I remember now why I can't give up television. I watched Veronica Mars last night. Damn that's some grade-A television entertainment. I mean, seriously. How can you NOT love that show. My favorite quote of the entire series was in the second episode of the evening. Weevil and Logan (who are both noted for being huge jerks) are working together to solve a mystery, but they don't want anyone to know they're working together, so they're trying to be sneaky about it. They go to Veronica's work and they hide the fact that they are together by sitting adjacent tables. When she realizes that they are both there to ask her a favor, she says (please excuse my faulty memory because the quote isn't exactly right), "This is your idea of being sneaky? I have a horse costume you can borrow for surveillance if you want. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass?" Good times. Uh. . .maybe you had to be there.

To anyone who was worried, Lawrence and I have NOT broken up, although it was a close call. Everything's happy and shiny again. YAY! It's that six month mark. People ALWAYS fight at six months. Thems the rules, I don't make em.

Uh. . .sorry I don't have anything interesting to say. I am a very boring person.

stuff

My rash seems to be getting slightly better. But here's the thing: the steroid cream kind seemed to be working, so I kept using it. I'm still taking the miracle pill. And, I noticed that I had started taking three new drugs (glucosamine condroitin, new mulitvitamin with ECGG to boost metabolism, and Advair) shortly before my illness started, and the days I didn't take these things are the days that I have shown improvement in my condition. So the question at hand is; am I getting better because of the steroid cream, because of the pills, because I STOPPED taking a pill that I'm allergic to, or am I getting better all on my own and the rest of this is all just coincidence? One thing's for sure. I am fucking sick of being sick.

A colony of orange butterfly's keep flitting around our back door. I have no idea why, but I think it's pretty cool. We're on the migration path for the monarchs, but these are different ones. *shrug*

I think my son was raised in a barn. He keeps leaving the door open. He also keeps NOT flushing the toilet and leaving the seat up. Boys.

My boss told me today that this dollar raise is probably the last raise I'll get for two years. Dammit. I liked regular gigantic raises. I should known this wonderland couldn't last forever!

I slept most of the day yesterday. And I took a nap during lunch today. I wish I were sleeping now. Maybe I have African Sleeping Sickness.

better living through chemistry!

Well, when I went to the doctor on Tuesday, he prescribed a steroid cream and told me if I weren't doing better by this afternoon to call him. As I'm still spiking fevers anywhere between 99-102 degrees, and my rash, while it seems better in the original spots, has spread out to more locales, and I can barely walk through my house without feeling exhausted, I decreed this to be "not better" and called. My joints don't hurt as much and I no longer get tracers when I move my head, and I don't feel like the top of my head is gonna fall off everytime I move, but still. Lawrence and Mom have both expressed the fear that I have contracted Lyme disease, and made me promise to mention it to the doctor. As my symptoms do fit the disease, I decided it couldn't hurt to bring it up for thought. So, this afternoon, I called and spoke to the guy at the front desk, and he called me back after a little while and said that the doctor was going to call in a prescription for doxycycline, which treats not only skin conditions, but Lyme Disease as well. Score! After receiving my prescription (which my wonderful daddy went and picked up for me cause I felt so crappy) and seeing the vast amount of warnings on it, ranging from telling me I should avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight to avoid laying down for thirty minutes after taking it, I decided to investigate further. According to Wikipedia, ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxycycline ) this drug is used to treat not only skin conditions and Lyme Disease, but also acne, syphilis, sinusitus, Rocky Mountain Fever, Malaria, and Anthrax. Yes, that's right. ANTHRAX. It's also useful against the Bubonic Plague. WTF?!? So when I'm done taking this, I will have healthy glowing skin and be completely disease free in every way. You can send me into the jungle or send me to fight terrorists. I am INVINCIBLE! Sweet! Why didn't anybody tell me about this awesome drug years ago? Of course, on the side effects list that came with the drugs, it says in big bold letters, "Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects." Should I be worried?

If I were a boy in the 1800's, I would be pale and sickly and get beaten up a lot

So it turns out, I don't have the flu or meningitis or strep rash or anything. All this 101 fever and swollen lymph nodes and achiness are just a result of my rash. Apparently, I'm having such a bad allergic reaction to something that it has caused my body to reject me. I have no idea what has caused it. The doctor and I ran through all the things that might have caused it and we couldn't figure anything out. He prescribed some creams to apply, and if it doesn't start clearing up by Thursday afternoon, I'm supposed to call him. They even did a blood test and found out that there is no viral or bacterial infections in my system what so ever. He said normally the first thing he would do would be give a steroid shot, but I just had one last month, so it's still going strong. I said, "So basically if I didn't have the steroid shot, I might be dead right now?" I was joking around, but he said with a serious face, "Well, yes, possibly." So, wow, am I allergic to something mighty fierce! Shame we don't know what it is so I can avoid it!

I blame Kiera for this. I'm just saying. She started it after all.