You have now entered. . .a very well thought out Twilight Zone

You know how there is a common apocalyptic theme of something happening and every person on Earth dies leaving just a single man and woman, and they must repopulate the species? I mean, of course there's variations on this theme; stranded on an island together, lost on another planet together, etc. Ok, is it just me, or does that seem like really poor planning? I think that if I were the last woman on earth, I would say, "listen baby, I like you a lot, and I'll be glad to get my jollies with you, (cause let's face it. If you are the last couple on earth, you're married and aloud to have sex. And you will, no matter how unattractive you find them at first. A few months or years or decades, that person will eventually start looking pretty damn good to ya.) but the human race dies here, darlin'."
There are several good reasons behind this decision. The first, and most important being that two people simply do not have a good enough genetic spread to create a race. There would be freaky mutants and horrible miscarriages all over the place. And no one wants that. Especially me, the potential Eve of this band of freaks. See, that's from the scientific angle, now for the ew gross angle. All my children would be brothers and sisters. And no matter how much I try to conceive of a society where it's ok for siblings to get on the dirty mattress dance, I just can't. Yes, maybe I'm conditioned by my puritanical society, but it's me that's making this decision, so there you go. Lastly, living here in a neighborhood with very few children around, I have worried extensively about my son's socialization. And to be honest, he ain't exactly the best socialized kid in the world. So what would happen if he were the ONLY kid in the world. I'll tell you what would happen. Cain and Able. Yeah, that's right. I mean, Cain was the only child in the world, the apple (no pun intended) of his parents eye for several years. Then along comes Able, his first competition, EVER. I mean can you blame the guy for getting really killer sibling rivalry? It's just really not an emotionally healthy situation.

So, yeah. If I were the last woman on earth, it would be prime time for the dolphins to make their big evolutionary move. Just like mammals did when the dinosaurs kicked off. It's all about evolution, it's natural and part of life. Don't cry for the human race if that happens, it's just one of those things. And chances are, unless you're the one guy who'll be stuck with me, you'll be dead, so you won't cry anyway. Of course, knowing my luck, I'll be in a bank vault with my brother when the meteor fries everyone else into little piles of dust and I STILL won't be able to get laid. Yep, that's just how my luck seems to go.

Oh Hell

Ok, I just want to say in advance; I'm sorry. *sigh* Guess who wants to get back together. Yep. Jared. He contacted me the other night via IM, and of course I was a bit snarky to him, and when he commented on my mood, I said, no, I wasn't in a bad mood, I was just get tired of him flirting with me for a few days while he's tired of his girlfriend and then ignoring me for weeks after they get back together. He apologized and assured me they're really through this time. I told him I'd believe him if he was still talking to me in a week. But here's the thing. Every other time, I would go look at his myspace profile, and he would have himself listed as "in a relationship" and there would be all these lovey dovey comments from her on there. Just so you understand, people can send messages to you, which are private, and, if you put the person on your friends list, they can leave comments on your profile which are public and anyone that looks at your profile can see. So he took her off his friends list and deleted all the comments from her and has now listed himself as single. Big change. Get this: he's never left a comment for me before (remember-these are public) and he left not one, but TWO comments, both containing a variation on the phrase, "I know you still want me." I was kinda taken aback by that, because he usually keeps stuff like that private. So, finally after chatting for a long while, I told him, "Well, I'm already kinda seeing two other guys, what's one more I guess?" Tee hee. Snarky. I just wanted him to know that I haven't been sitting around pining for him, cause I really wasn't interested in getting back together. But I figured, hey, free meal. Plus I'm thinking about trying to get him to teach me to play the electric guitar! That would be cool!

Last night he IM'd me again wanting me to come over (which I did not do. No late night booty calls for me.) After we chatted a while he invited me to go camping this weekend, cause he knows I like camping and never get to go. And cause he thinks that if I spend the night with him I'll put out. So I told him I'm completely booked up this weekend, which is true, but then I said that I wasn't so sure I want to go camping with him. He asked why of course and I said, "I don't think I want to compromise my virtue for someone that won't even commit to me." He said, "Come on, you know why I couldn't commit before and that problem's gone now." I said, "Oh, really? Cause I thought the problem was that I wouldn't put out and, well. . ." tee hee. I figure I can be as snarky as I want, cause if he leaves, I'm no worse off than before, right?

It'll be interesting to see what happens now that I've actually made out with ANOTHER super-hot guy, and been (tenatively) asked out by a nice Mormon guy, and I know for a fact that I have other options open. Maybe Jared will be able to grow from what is sure to be a very trying experience for him. Cause I'm not pulling my punches this time. Poor boy.

My Christmas

I had a very good Christmas, except for one thing: my mom is psychotic. It's really weird, like a month ago I was getting ready to write a post about how my mom is getting less crazy all the time, and then she suddenly turns into a screaming, nagging bag o' crazy all the time. I think it must be one of her medications, I mean she's on like a billion, so surely either one of them doesn't suit her or some of them are reacting badly. I mean seriously, her falling off the deep end and flying into occasional rages for no apparent reason were really the only mar in the day. I even made Christmas dinner so that she wouldn't have to! Aren't I a saint? :) I was not as hard as I have been led to expect. The hardest part was getting everything into the oven so that it would all be hot at the same time when there was actually far too much to actually fit in the oven. And then my mom was all crazy during the meal and actually upset my dad so much he left the table, so that was fun. All we really needed was liquor and the good times would've been complete! After dinner we played Scene it! For a while and that was good times. What? You want to know what I got? Ok, ok, stop bugging me, I'll tell you!

Tons of candy: we exchange names and do stockings for each other specifically so we'll get candy. In addition to that, mom decided for some reason and despite the fact that all of us are trying to lose weight (or at least watching it) to buy us mass quantities of candy as presents! So all together, I got; a box of Ferrero Rocher, a bag of Lindor truffles, a bag of mint Kit Kat minis, and a box of Toffifay. Of course, at work our landlord brought us a big can of Godiva dark chocolate covered preztels which kick ass, so my boss sent a big bag of those home with me. Yowza, that's a lot of chocolate.

Hairclips: these were in my stocking. One set of two silver zig zaggy ones with little diamondy stone on them, and one large silver filigree butterfly clip. They are very pretty.

Johnny Cash: the two Johnny Cash CD's I had on my wish list. The one with his 16 biggest hits, and the one with him singing Hurt and other songs that he didn't write. Awesome! Of course, my dad immediately appropriated them and have had them in him bedroom CD player every since.

A modern rock compendium: this is 4 CD's with 80's music! Finally! I can listen to Der Kommissar anytime I want to!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 2: it's full of vampire slaying goodness!

Your's, Mine, and Our's: on DVD. Yeah, man. Funny funny stuff.

Uh. . .I think that's it, kids. So, good stuff, good times, good people. Even the crazy ones. We even watched White Christmas at the end of the night. Oh yeah, full of Bing Crosby goodness.

Out Dancing

Boys and girls, I finally met William! (For those who don't remember-William is the hot Asian guy I've seen at the dance club I go to. I named him William just so I could call him something.) It's all thanks to Elizabeth. She was being all super dooper friendly and introducing herself to anyone that looked interesting, and when I noticed William had entered the dance club, she took it upon herself to hook us up. She went and met him and told him that her friend "wanted to dance with him." After he danced a couple of dances with me, he went "to get a beer," and I noticed his friends were doing the "hey-all right!" motions at him, so that made me feel attractive at least. Elizabeth went to find him again later in the evening, and he danced the last few dances with me. Strangely enough, it turns out his name is NOT William, it's John. And he's not gay as I had surmised. At least that's what he said. And when he stuck his tongue down my throat, I was pretty sure. That's right, children, I made out with John nee William. And let me tell ya, he is as hot up close as he is from afar. He's got 6-pack abs and rock hard pecs, not to mention very nicely defined arms. And he's 22. Damn, I can't seem to stay away from the kids! He kept dropping subtle hints to try to get me back to his place, such as, "I just live right over there on the square, over the wine store." I didn't really see an appropriate place to work in the fact that I don't have premarital sex. I guess I coulda said something along the lines of, "Let me take this opportunity while you're sucking my neck to tell you that I will never have sex with you, ever." I dunno. Seems like a mood killer. So, I went off to Ihop like a good girl and he went home. Tee hee. After an 8 1/2 year dry spell, I've now made out with not one, but TWO guys in one year! Hot damn, I'm on a streak!

15 Random facts

I think I must be boring or something, cause apparently, none of my friends love my anymore. Nobody comments on my blog. Ok, ok, Kiera usually comments, but she hasn't lately, but she has family visiting, so I guess I'll let it slide. And Josh and Hussy commented on my last one, so they are the only ones that TRULY love me. So, if David and I are both killed at the same time, I leave my child to them. That's right, Josh and Hussy will have to move in together and raise Ethan a la "My Two Dads." Josh gets to be the uptight one. Good luck!

I liked making the 100 random facts list so much that I've decided to do more, only I think 100 is a bit much for me AND you, so I'm just doing 15 this time. As an added challenge, I'm going to try to make this one sex free! Let's see how I do. Here we go:

15) I salt and pepper most of the foods that I eat (not desserts). I even salt and pepper salad and cottage cheese.

14) In 7th grade, when I didn't really have any friends, I had a few people who would occasionally spend time with me. One day one of those girls poured orange soda into my shoe while I was in PE. (my shoe was in the locker room.) When I asked her why she did it, she looked embarrassed and ashamed and said that "they" told her to, and she didn't know what else to do. I told her that I understood. And I did. I knew that under the same circumstances, I would have done the same thing.

13) Also in 7th grade, when I was in Computer Science class one day and we were doing stuff on Apple 2e's. They have an "apple" button instead of a Ctrl key, and my teacher, when writing instructions on the board, would draw a little circle with a line coming out of it to represent the apple. One day I said that I didn't think it looked like an apple, it looked more like a cherry, and my classmates thought that was HILARIOUS! I had no idea why, but they were all telling me how awesome that was, and high fiving me and crap. After that, I made some friends, and even the people who were most evil towards me before slacked off. Of course, I found out that cherry was also something "dirty." Therefore, being dirty and shocking=friends. I think anyone that knows me would agree that this was probably one of the furthest reaching events of my developmental years.

12) I don't like cinnamon.

11) When I was a kid I had a white parasol with a ruffle around the edge and my name written on it in purple cursive. I loved that damn thing. I thought it was the fanciest thing ever.

10) When I was a teenager, I heard that the year after Tabitha was born on Bewitched, Tabitha was the most popular girls name. I thought that was retarded, and swore that if I ever had kids, I would never name a child of mine after a character on a TV show.

9)Mission Impossible (which is a remake of a TV show) came out the year Ethan was born, so people were always asking me if I named him after Tom Cruise's character. I always said, "No way, I would never name a child after a character from a movie! I just like that name." But I actually did get the name from the movie!! shhh. Don't tell.

8) As far as I can remember, I've never told ANYONE about #9. (Even Ethan's dad!)

7) When I was a kid, we used to have book covers from 1st State Bank for all our school books. They had a big 1 on the front. I used to draw in pretty lady mice in all the 1's. Like the top point is the top of the head and the part sticking out in front was the nose. I'm weird.

6) In elementary school, my art teachers would give me extra tips that they didn't tell the rest of the class.

5) I hate doing dishes. I would rather clean the toilet than do the dishes.

4) Extremely old people give me the willies.

3) I really want to like licorice. It seems so interesting to like licorice. But, I still think it's gross.

2) I want flying cars, dammit. Seriously.

1) Cats (or anybody else for that matter) with tumors seriously seriously wig me out.

I made it! 15 random facts, and not a single one was about boys or sex! Unless you count Ethan, but I didn't write about his conception, so I don't count that. :)

Tell me a story!

I got this from some random stranger's blog that I happened across, and I think it's great! Here it is:

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment here on my blog with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - but it has to be FAKE. When you're finished leaving your comment, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Note: I will read each one and respond in kind.

Now....Let the hilarity ensue.

GO!

Greetings of the season

So, you know what the problem with most people is? They're dumb. Plain and simple. For instance: yesterday, my dad calls me to tell me that they are closing our road to put down new blacktop, so I might not want to come home for lunch. I was like, well obviously they aren't closing the entire road. That would be dumb! I was already not coming home for lunch, so when I come home at 4, I get to the end of the street and it is completely baricaded with street closed signs. Ok, no problem, I'll go to the other end. I go to the other end, where I promptly get caught behind a school bus, so that was fun, and I patiently and slowly drive back up toward the end of the street that has my neighborhood. My neighborhood is on a horseshoe shaped street, so both ends come out on the same road a block apart. I figure they probably blacktopped just past one end of my street and they would come back and do the other part later. But no. I get to the other end of the blacktopping, and they have closed off that end, too, completely blocking in my entire neighborhood. Somebody has thoughtfully shoved aside one of the blockades, so I drive right through, and when I get to my neighborhood, I see that they have set up cones blocking off both ends of my street, implying that nobody is aloud to leave my neighborhood until they have finished. (Some cones had also been moved aside, so I was able to go home.) So did they think that nobody would leave home OR come home until they reopened the place? And they didn't even forewarn us of this happening so that we could plan for it. Like I said: DUMB.

On a related note, here's what I hate about Christmas time: every dumb mother fucker who never leaves their house EVER suddenly feels the need to get out and about. The streets, which normally aren't that bad, are jammed with cars start to finish. (Some of whom are swerving about behind you trying like a crazy person to pass despite the fact that there are at LEAST 4000 cars lined up directly in front of you which are all stuck behind the 103 year old grandfather who's driving 25 miles per hour on the highway.) The parking lots of all the stores are full. The handicap spots are all taken cause of all the crypt-keeper aged relics that have decided to go buy all their grandchildren completely unwanted and inappropriate gifts. (My mom is handicapped, so this affects me.) People, instead of going and briefly perusing an aisle and picking out what they need, will go and stand in front of a display for half an hour, mouth agape as they try to decide if their husband/ coworker/ child/ wife/ boss/ cousin/ distant relation/ friend/ postal worker/ dog/ etc really would love a tin in the shape of a carton of milk filled with oreos, or if they would prefer a tin in the shape of a tin filled with chocolates, or then again, there's the plastic giant M&M character filled with M&M's! I mean jeez-louise, people! I understand being indecisive, but when there's people milling about me, I try to hurry, or at least take up as little room as possible. Seriously, folks, it's called common courtesy, look into it. Although, I can't imagine why it's called COMMON, it seems to be in short supply these days. So yeah. Merry Christmas!

update time

Ok, you remember how when you were in school, you and your friends would have debates abouts whether you'd rather be blind or deaf (deaf-duh) or whether you'd rather be smart and ugly or beautiful and stupid? Of course, I always said beautiful and stupid cause beautiful people get what they want cause everyone likes them and they're too stupid to realize they're missing out on anything. Besides which, I was already smart and ugly and it's just not that much fun. Well, as I've gotten older, my appearance has improved, and my IQ has gone down, and apparently I am now in the beautiful and stupid category. (Of course, I'm still not beautiful enough to get what I want from people. dammit.) I can't get a new template on my blog to save my life. I found one I like. I followed the rather poorly written instructions. And I got a page that had a layout like the template, but no picture behind it. Grrr. I guess I need to get a big smart man to help me. *twirls hair around finger with one leg on pointe and a vacant expression on face*

Today was Mario's last day. Rene told me not to say anything until Mario told me. But Mario didn't tell me. How awkward. So I'm all waiting for him to say something and he never did. And so when I left I was like, "See ya later." What are ya gonna do, ya know? I felt something strange, something unfamiliar. . .I felt, um. . .bad for him? Is that what that feels like? Hmm. Interesting. Must file away for future reference. Knowledge of this feeling might coming in handy in later manipulations, uh, I mean interactions.

So, I have been asked out. . .kinda. I can't remember if I told you about this, but about 4 months ago I went to my Single Adult Leadership meeting for church. A guy comes in, and Dr. Cudd starts introducing him to everybody. When he comes to me, the guy says, "Oh, I know Margie, we go way back." I'm like, "Uh, dude. I don't know you." (I really did say that.) And he said, "Yes you do!" I looked more closely and realized that I did indeed know him. We used to go to church together about 10 years ago. We would chat all the time and got along great. I said, "Oh, weren't you married to that red head?" He nodded. I said, "Oh my gosh, I do know you! OH MY GOSH, you got a divorce!?!" He obviously had if he was a SINGLE adult rep. It's all for the best, I never could figure out why he was married to such a frigid bitch. So when I realized who he was, I KNEW that eventually he would ask me out. But at the time I was all hung up on you-know-who, and didn't want to date anyone else. Now of course, I've moved on from you-know-who, but I'm not looking specifically to date, but I'll go out with people if they ask. (unless they're Dan. I won't go out with him unless he invites me on a group outing with lots of people.) So this past Sunday, after the single adult potluck (we have these once a month, it's the only place I see Lawrence), everyone else rushed off to the concert that was starting, and Lawrence and I stayed to clean up. Of course we talked and had a grand old time, and at one point he said something along the lines of, "I've only been divorced for 6 months, and separated for a year before that, so I'm not really ready to date yet, but sometimes I want to go out, and I don't want to go alone, so I was wondering if you might want to go out with me sometime? Of course, you might say that if it walks like a date and talks like a date, it is, but you know. . ." Of course I said sure and gave him my number, I mean, phrased like that I couldn't exactly say no, could I? No, I'll talk to you for hours on end at church activities, but no way in Hell will I go do something with you on a not really a date kinda. So I was trying to decide if he said it like that because he really doesn't feel ready to date or because he was afraid I'd say no if he asked me out for real. *shrug* But I'm actually kind of surprised that the week is almost over and he hasn't called me. I mean, it's not like I desperate to go out with him, but now that I've gotten used to the idea, I'm kinda like, hey man, let's get this show on the road!

So that's the Gnus. And no gnus is good gnus. Bonus points to anyone who knows what the hell I'm talking about. Here's a hint: it's a quote.

Paranoia-good for that sleeping problem you're trying to kick

Today I have been a little paranoid, but I feel that it is justified.

As you all know, Rene has been plotting to fire Mario. He told Mario that the 23rd would be his last day, but then he decided that he couldn't stand him that long and he's gonna "send him packing on Thursday." Now the thought has already niggled at my brain that if he can plot against Mario, he can plot against me, but I always put the thought aside cause I figure I'll burn that bridge when and if that happens. But for some reason today the idea was really bothering me, I dunno why.

So these little paranoid ideas about Rene were swimming around my head when I hear a helicopter landing outside. (I work at an airport, for those of you who aren't in the know. Yes. It's a dental lab in an airport. My boss likes planes.) It hovers around FOREVER, LOUDLY, and when I finally look out to see what the heck's going on, I spot a Black Helicopter. A matte, unmarked BLACK HELICOPTER. I shit you not, my friend. So now I not only have to worry about Rene plotting against me, I have to worry about the government surveillance that is apparently taking place. I DID just write a scathing commentary (my research paper for Texas Government. I got a 98. I'm just that good. Or my teacher has low standards.) on what a bad governor Rick Perry is. Do you think he has access to Black Helicopter level stuff? Maybe he and Bush are good buddies and Bush sent the Black Helicopter to watch me? *looks shiftily from side to side* If I disappear in the night, come find me! Rage against the machine! Fight the man! Come, see the oppression that's inherent in the system! I saw a video once that said that political prisoners are held under the FEMA installation on Loop 288 in Denton. Look for me there!

No, really. I'm serious. ;)

Study break

Yes, tis I, the girl who is SUPPOSED to be studying for her Government final as we speak. But I am the master of procrastination. Here is the course of events of the last few days:

Monday: Work. Go to Government class, find out what is on the final.
Tuesday: Work. Go to Tae Kwon Do awards ceremony, receive an advancement to yellow belt. Reward self by watching TV for the rest of the evening.
Wednesday: Snow day! Go home from work at 8:30 in the morning. Not being the least bit tired, spend the entire day playing video games, until Top Model and Veronica Mars come on of course!
Thursday: Still pretty icy out! Very cold. Better spend this day playing video games, too.
Friday: OK. Today's the day to start studying. But Dad's off work! What's that Dad? You want me to come with you to run errands? Well, I need to run errands, too! Sure! Home again in the evening. I read the chapter over the executive branch of Government. Boy, am I drained. I better watch Ghost Whisperer and then go to Josh's house.
Saturday: Tae Kwon Do. I can't just come straight home and study! I have to cool down, then take a nice relaxing soak, then a shower to actually get clean, then get dressed, then have something to eat. Now it's time to study. Oh, but mom NEEDS for me to put the dishes away. And she really needs help with her puzzle. Alright, I've done that for an hour, time to get to business. What? No email? I better check everyone's blogs to see if they've updated. Huh. You know, those people that commented on Hussy's blog obviously know some meaning for Dutch Oven that I don't know. I better investigate. Well what do ya know? Dutch oven doesn't just mean a pan, it's also when somebody holds someone under the covers after they've farted, AND when someone passes gas during sex! Crazy! And for all these years, I just thought it was a pot for cooking things in. Well, that's terribly interesting, I better go put that in my blog.

So here we are. It's after 5 on Saturday, and I still haven't even STARTED studying, even though I've had 4 solid days completely free. You know that if it's come to me doing housework to avoid homework, it's to the wire. I think I'll need some snacks if I'm gonna study. AND I need to make something for a church potluck thing tomorrow night. I better go to the store. :)

And you know? I'm getting tired of how my blog looks. But I don't like any of the other templates that they have. Maybe I should learn HTML. . .

There's something wrong with me

I go through life, living normally, surrounded by people who care about me. Ok, maybe I don't live that normally, but I don't live too abnormally either, so you get my point. I have two parents that are still married to each other and love me. Sometimes I think they love me too much, especially when I'm feeling especially smothered. I have a son who loves me so much he practically cries everytime I talk to him on the phone telling me how much he misses me. I have two awesome brothers who serve double duty as friends that I talk to everyday and who I know will always be there. I have other friends, here and in other places, who I care about a lot, and who I suspect feel the same towards me. I've dated guys, and there are guys that give me appreciative glances in the grocery store and guys writing me on myspace wanting to get to know me better. There's dozens of people at church who seem to really appreciate my presence, and who, apparently, talk about how amazing I am behind my back. (Rumor has it.) Not to brag, but I've even had the odd person say that I've changed their life. I am smart, capable, funny, and attractive.

So why is it that sometimes, on a not so infrequent basis, I am gripped with a loneliness so intense it makes me feel like it will never go away, and just eats at my insides like a rat. I feel it sitting in my home, surrounded by people who love me. I feel it after getting off the phone with a good friend. I feel it at parties. Or after parties. I feel it out dancing when I look around at all the people having fun with each other. I feel it if one day goes by without someone IMing me or messenging me on myspace. My family makes fun of me for checking my email so much, but that's why I do it. I even feel the loneliness in crowds. It's not constant, but it always comes back. Is there something wrong with me? Or does everyone feel this way? When I look at all the smiling faces, are they just covering up the loneliness too? Or do their smiles come from real satisfaction? Lest all my friends think I don't enjoy their company, let me assure you, I do. It's what keeps me going. I'm like a crack fiend, and as soon as you go away, I start jonesing for more.

In college, I was in a couple of plays. Just bit parts, but they were fun. For weeks before the play, you spend so much time preparing, it becomes your life. You have rehearsals everyday, you think about your lines constantly. You spend hours on end with the other people in the play. It's really fun. Everyone has a common cause, and you always have something to talk about. And then the night of the play comes and it's pure adrenaline. Will everything go well? Will you remember your lines? Standing out there, with all eyes on you, doing what you've practiced for is the most amazing feeling in the world. It's really like nothing else. And then it's over. Just like that. No more rehearsals, no more excuse to spend time with those people, no more purpose. No more reason. That is the worst most empty feeling in the world. I kind of feel like that is what life is like. You spend so much time preparing for everything. You go to school, and try to make yourself attractive for people and your potential mate, and it's all promise and preparation. For what? For me there's not even a show to perform. I feel like I went to the dress rehearsal and then got sick and missed the night of the show.

I'm sorry. I'm being maudlin and dumb. And I have a headache. I'm going to bed now.

Christmas wishes

Just so everyone knows, at the request of Hussy and my brother, I went ahead and made an Amazon wish list. It has other things on it that I forgot to put on my blog list. I actually really liked doing it because Amazon was so helpful and kept telling me about other things that I never would have thought of if I just had to go off my own brain power! So there ya go.

I'm like a Yeti

Today I had to work for a whopping thirty minutes. That is due to the fact that Ma Nature has sent hard white pellets plummeting from the sky today. It is also really freakin' cold. It's 20 degrees here! That's 12 whole degrees below freezing! Man can't live in this kind of harsh environ. So I went ahead and went to work this morning, but as soon as it started raining at 8:30, my boss found out it was below freezing by checking the internet and sent me home. I live 5 minutes from my work, but I still managed to skid all over the road once during my trip. Also, my class is cancelled for tonight, so with a lack of obligations, I set up our Christmas tree. That involved trekking to the shed to get out the Christmas stuff and getting sleet in my sandals. Well, they're actually mules, but there was definitely sleet inside them. Well, they're made by a company called Born with a slash across the o, which means they're probably from some place cold where everybody's blonde, so that means they're winter footwear, right? It's cold so seldom here, we are just really ill equipped to handle it. When I sent Ethan's winter stuff up to Utah, his step mom Becky called me to ask if I was going to send his winter coat. I told her that I did send it, it's blue with grey lining, and still in really good condition cause he's only worn it about 2 times. She laughed. She said that was not a winter coat, it was a fall coat. It's not my fault I live somewhere that has almost perfect living conditions! Except for that 6 months of the year when it's 120 degrees, it's wonderful here!

I can't believe she laughed at me. Of course I once laughed at an Alaskan, so maybe it's karma. Funny story. When I was working at FEMA, there was a forest fire in Alaska that was declared a disaster. We didn't get many calls from Alaskans, but the ones who did call were not looking for a hand out, just a loan to help them get back on their feet. I was very impressed by them, but that's beside the point. One day in high summer on an unusually hot summer, a lady called and, as we waited for the computer to load up, told me she was dying cause it was SO hot there on account of a heat wave. I couldn't imagine how hot it might get in Alaska, so I had to ask just how hot it was. She told me it was 70 degrees, and she was just BURNING UP! I should have maintained my professionalism, but I couldn't help it. I started laughing. She said, "Umm, I'm guessing you're some place warm." I said, "Uh, yeah, I'm in Texas." She said, "Oh, I bet it's pretty hot there." "Yep. Outside it's currently 120 degrees in the shade," I replied. She observed that she would die. "Yes. Yes you would," I said.

So everyone that lives in more icy climes can laugh at me if they will, but I've lived here in Texas all my life. I can handle hot. Cold not so much.

Dream from life-in glorious Technicolor!

All righty, I thought I had written my last post about Jared, but this is kinda funny, so bear with me. Last night I had a dream that my son's uncle Joe was staying with us. Not MY brother Joe, my son's dad's brother Joe. Confusing, yes? (He also has a sister named Becky and a wife named Becky. But, I digress.) Now there is no conceivable reason that Joe would be staying with us, because I haven't even seen or heard from him in over a year, and he has two parents living in two towns really near here, so why wouldn't he stay with one of them? (And he's really cute-a fact which I did not neglect in my dream version of him. Dave (my son's dad) said I should date him back when I was dating Dave, but I told him that was a little too Jerry Springer for me. He didn't see what the problem was. He's strange.) So, I needed to use Joe's laptop to check my email (don't ask me why I couldn't use one of the two computers that are in my house), and he kindly loaned it to me while he went to do something else. So I get on and sign into messenger, like I always do (although not usually when I'm on other people's computers), and up pops an instant messenger box from Jared, trying to be all nicey nicey to me. Well, I'm pleased as punch in my dream because this gives me an opportunity to give him a little piece o' my mind. (Something which I've been stewing about. I can't just pop up and say, hey asshole, I'm sick of you jerking me around! No, I have to wait till he talks to me. And by the time he does, I won't be mad anymore and I'll be polite. Dammit.) So I'm sitting there trying to decide whether I should go with the sugar and spice route, of 'oh, hey, look how sweet I am! Oh I'm so nice and polite and friendly! Oh wait, I'm actually gonna be really bitchy to you in a really logical and non emotional way, with a big innocent look in my eyes so you can't get mad about it', or if maybe I should just come out with the 'here's what I think of you so bugger off you asswad' routine. That one burns bridges, but is very satisfying. But there is a certain satisfaction of lulling someone into a false sense of security, only to help them realize that they done messed up real bad, and leave them feeling unsettled and unsatisfied because they can't even go on the defensive because you're being so nice about everything. As I'm contemplating the tone, Josh also pops up on instant messenger, and in my dream instant messenger is a box that looks like parchment and the words are written on it in calligraphy, but everyone's in the same box and I can't tell which comments are Josh's and which are Jared's, except that there is a little tiny dot in front of each statement that looks very slightly different for each person. And then, the laptop freezes up. (Just as our computer in real life froozed up last night when Josh IM'd me.) Now I am pissed in my dream because I have to reboot and by the time I get back on, I just know the moment for telling Jared off will be gone! Plus, Joe has come back and is sitting very patiently, but I can tell he wants his laptop back and I think it would be rude to say, "Oh just wait while I take a bunch of time to reboot and then sign back into messenger so I can have a conversation with someone while you're sitting there waiting." I am caught in the crux of this problem when my alarm goes off, sparing me any more turmoil. I just thought that was funny, so I wanted to share it with you. Because you, my friend, are my closest confidante. I tell YOU more than I tell anyone else. Feel special. I demand it.

Goodnight Sweet-Heart

All right, kids. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. Last week, Jared told me he was dumping his girlfriend and wanted to get back together with me. It was just like old times again, he was online all the time chatting with me and having fun. Then over the weekend, he dissapeared from online. Hmmm. So Tuesday he was online again and I said we should have dinner, not as a date or anything, just get together. He complained about "his stalker" but agreed. He surprised me by showing up at Hobby Lobby were I was doing some shopping, then we went out to eat. Over the course of the evening, he was slightly flirtatious, but not overly foward. I asked him if he broke up with her, and he said yes, but she comes over to his house to sleep for some reason, and that he couldn't seem to get rid of her. When we parted, we hugged, and he seemed slightly confused and kept lingering. I decided that maybe he still needs some space, and that's fine. But he hasn't been online since then, so on a hunch I went to his myspace site, and on Friday, his girl left a comment saying, "last night was awesome. . . .in that crazy weird-ass way that is us. . . .I love you." Friday. Which means whatever they did happened just two days after he told me that he can't get rid of her, and she's like a disease. Whatever. I've played this game before, when Dave kept going back and forth between me and another girl, and I don't feel like playing again. That's all folks. Fin.

Me and my writing, strolling down the avenue

My friend Cainnum decided to make a literary type blog for his poetry, and then he invited me to participate. Maybe he thought that getting me to write other things would get me to write a little less on my regular blog. :) So I put my essay "Music Magic" on it for now, but I'm working on a short story and someday that will go on there. You can check it out at

http://floodedhearts.blogspot.com/

Go forth. Enjoy. All the cool bloggers have more than one blog.

weight for it!

OH MY GOSH!!! I weighed in this morning, and I've dropped to 189! I've been stuck between 195 and 200 for a while, so I am so excited! And I just can't hide it! Sorry, almost burst into a spontaneous song and dance scene there. Shew, that was close. But seriously! 189! That's just 29 pounds away from the very topmost echelons of my ideal weight! I am now basically just 30 pounds over weight! Holy crap! I can't believe it. It's good to see that all my hard work ain't been in vain for nuthin'. (If you don't recognize that quote-you're dead to me.) And I passed my belt test in tae kwon do, I am now a yellow belt! One more step on my way to becoming a rock hard killing machine. You think I'm joking.
I met Jason last night. I really didn't think there was any spark, but he's fun, and we'll be friends. Don't cry for me, as I said some posts back, I'm really not worried about dating right now. And that must be true, cause I went to dinner (not a date, just as friends-I even paid for my self, and it was Whataburger) with Jared the other night, and I really didn't feel a spark for him either. Maybe I've broken myself! If I had my own place, I would think the time was right to start picking up stray cats and buy a big fuzzy robe for myself. Although I'm not all the way broken; last night I dreamed my very own episode of Supernatural, and SEXILICIOUS Jensen Ackles was in it. Even Jared Padilecki was sexy in my dream, and in part of it he was wearing like an old-fashioned navy outfit thing that was navy blue with the bell bottom pants and a very tight t-shirt that was way hot. So, maybe I am just subverting my sexual desires away from real men to imaginary men that I can never have. Yeah, that seems healthy.