Won't you be MY neighbor? *wink wink nudge nudge*

My mom left to take a nap and left the TV on, so I am listening to Mister Rogers talk to a boy's choir right now. I would like to say that it came on after she left and that she wasn't watching it, which is true, but that doesn't really help because she watches Mister Rogers EVERYDAY. I am dead serious. She will be 56 at the end of the year, and she watches Mister Rogers religiously. No joke. Now I don't have a problem with people watching kids shows. Some of them are quite clever and entertaining. I myself enjoy Arthur and Between the Lions if they happen to be the only thing on when I'm wanting to watch TV, and Saturday mornings have found me watching Viewtiful Joe and occasionally Shaolin Showdown, I must confess. And of course I don't even feel the need to discuss cartoons that are in actuality too sophisticated for children, such as Futurama, Pinky and the Brain, and Beavis and Butthead. Kids wouldn't even get those for the most part, so they don't even figure into this equation. My problem here is that my mother watches a kid's show that is basically on the mental and emotional level of a three year old. Seriously. I found the show boring by the time I was four. I still had to watch it though, because my mom made me. You heard me, she MADE me watch Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Now it would be one thing if she was like, "Yeah, I know it's dumb and aimed at young children, but I just like it for some reason," but she doesn't do that. She will get mad if anyone says anything about it. She'll get mad and defensive and then start justifying her viewing of Mister Rogers. She'll say things like, "I write children's books, I need to stay current on kid's thinking." (In a huffy and puffy defensive manner to boot.) Ok, Mister Rogers is dead, and there hasn't been a new episode made in years. And you were watching it long before you ever started writing. So kiss my ass, lady. I'm done now.

Hey look, a castle! Hey look, a castle! Hey look, a castle!

My boss is stupid. Here's the deal. When I invest the copings for him to cast them, I mark them inside the ring with special symbols so that he'll know what kind of metal to use. It's the system he said to use when I first started investing. That way, when he pulls off the end cap, he can look and see which metal to use. Also, I write on the counter how many of each metal are in each ring so he knows how many pellets to melt into the thing. I still use the inside marking, partly for myself, and partly so that if the rings get moved around, he can still use that system to match them up with the numbers written on the counter. Well, despite the fact that these rings were marked in not one, but TWO different ways, he kept casting things in the wrong metals. Which means that several times because HE can't hold a thought in his head for five minutes, I ended up having to do half a days or even a whole days work over again the next day. Which SUCKS. So. He did this frequently enough that he decided I needed to mark the actual rings themselves so that if he took the rings into the casting room and then got them mixed up, he could just look on the ring and see which metal to use. So now I write SP or NP or HW or Gold on two sides of the ring so that he'll be sure and see it. So guess what happened this weekend? Go ahead. Guess! Yep. He cast a ring in the wrong metal AGAIN. Despite the fact that I identify the metal in THREE different ways and places. Dear Lord! Is the man a goldfish? I mean seriously, this is what the man does for a living! It's his livelihood? He's been working in this field since he was 16. His father had a dental lab before him. He should really be able to keep straight which metal to use at what point. And everytime he screws up, I am the one that has to redo my work. Which I really hate. Grrr.

Most of you probably didn't understand that at all. For that I apologize. Thank you for your time. I feel much better now.

de tale of de feet

I have a confession. I have big feet. Ok, so it's not really any secret, but really I do, I swear. Women's 12 wide. I wore a 13 when I was fatter, but now my feet have lost weight along with the rest of me and I can wear a twelve wide again. Sometimes I can painfully squeeze my way into an 11 wide, but I have to really freakin' love the shoes for that to happen. There was a time in my life when I basically had the choice of men's shoes or going barefoot. (I'm a men's 10 1/2, by the way.) But these days there is more of a selection. If I walk into Payless Shoes, I can find maybe 10 pairs to choose from. That's usually 8-10 pairs I wouldn't be caught dead in and 0-2 pair that I would consider wearing. Occasionally, they'll have something I love. I can also find shoes on the internet, but I really like to try on shoes before I decide. So it's Payless. None of the major shoe stores or department stores carry my size. Except Neiman Marcus, who apparently known by everyone except me for carrying hard to fit sizes. And the second I can afford to buy shoes at Neiman Marcus, I will be all over that action, believe you me. So, in short, it's annoying to have big feet.

But you know what's even more annoying? Women who say things like, "Oh I know! I wear a 10 and I can hardly find shoes!" Ok, listen you size 10 bitches, and listen good. The shoe selection expands EXPONENTIALLY when you drop from 12 to 11, and expands even more when you go to down to 10. Guess what the sizes that most (read ALL) stores that sell shoes are? Yep. 5-10. That's five to TEN, or even 10 1/2. So you can kiss my ass and suck my proverbial dick. I would give my metaphorical left nut to be able to get the kind of selection that you get! If I hear all you candy ass bitches whine about wearing a size ten one more damn time, I might have to go postal on your asses and do something crazy like carve your feet down to a size you might like better. How'd ya like that? HUH? HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT?!? WITH YOUR REGULAR SIZE FEET AND YOUR WHINEY LITTLE COMPLAINTS!! YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. . .uh. . .ehem. Pardon me. I have to go now. I think I hear my mommy calling.

TV land

I'm seriously considering giving up television. I must say, I always love summer, when I'm freed from the shackles of having to watch a show at a certain time. Or even worse, tape the show and then try to watch it later. The problem there being that I only have taping capabilities, and I also only have two tapes. So I have to worry about taping over things I haven't seen yet and getting the right tape in and making sure there's even a tape in there, etc. If I had TiVo, this process would not be nearly as tedious. I know that I should probably be keeping up with the Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars eps that are showing because I missed many this last season, but I can't bring myself to care. Lawrence even has about four episodes of House on tape that I haven't watched, but everytime I go over there, I just don't feel like it. The problem is that the times I do feel like watching shows are always weird times, like late at night or Sunday afternoon. This is another reason I need TiVo. Or on demand TV! Seriously. But I think about when fall comes and I have to go back to the hassle of taping my afore mentioned shows and it just makes me get a headache. Maybe I've kicked this addiction! That would be super sweet. And now that Charmed is off the air, that's one less show to watch. Yay! I would like to say that I will give up TV completely, and maybe I will, but I dunno. I also worry about giving up TV and then being completely removed from popular culture. Weird thing to worry about, I know, but I do. I guess we'll find out in time what happens. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion. :)

Work your fingers to the bone and whattya get? Bony fingers.

Oh holy hell. I think that if it gets any busier at work, I just might die. Rene always says that it slows done in the summer on account of everyone going on vacation and not getting dental work done, but summer doesn't seem to be slowing done our dentist's patients. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be working and all. A paycheck very seldom goes amiss in my book, but then again, I like to be able to breathe occasionally when I'm at work. Exhibit A: I have to work for at least a half day tomorrow because there's no way I can get everything done that needs to be done if I don't. Now granted, this will not result in overtime pay because I took a half day off on Tuesday because I was sick, so really I'm just making up for lost time, but still! I used to be able to go home early all the time with no thought for the consequences. Add to the pile the fact that some of our dentists are useless twats that appear to be doing dental work with a chainsaw, and my life gets complicated. I poured a model THREE times this morning because the preps are so small and pointy that they cannot maintain structural integrity. The best of the batch is still going to have to be glued together before we can work on it. At least we got a new grindstone, so I don't have to kill myself trying to grind these models into shape. I ALSO having waxing I have to get done today. *sigh* I know you probably don't understand any of this, but take my word for it, I'm swamped. Rene says I'll get a raise in a month. A whole nother dollar! HOORAY!

Also making me happy is the fact that tonight Lawrence and I are going hot-tubbing! There's this place in Dallas where you can go rent a room with a hot tub, sauna (I think), and shower, and use it as long as you pay for. Pretty sweet! I'm always sore after a plaster bench day, so that should be nice and relaxing. Then it's straight back to work in the morning. Grrr. At least it'll keep my creditors happy.

Oh yeah. Speaking of creditors, my student loan people sent me a letter yesterday saying that an employee of a company the deal with "lost a piece of equipment" with some people's names and social security numbers on it, and they think mine was one of the ones lost. Joy! They don't THINK I've been the victim of identity threat yet, but I'm supposed to keep an eye out. Isn't that fabulous! I need to think happy thoughts now. *hot tub. hot tub. hot tub.*

I'm feeling better, my fever broke!

Dude. I went to the doctor today and they gave me a shot for my allergies. But it didn't hurt at all, so that's all right then. It was steroids! Yes, that's right, I'm on the roids. Maybe I can bulk up and win a Miss Muscle contest. Of course, I would lose my period and have even worse bouts of rage, but hey, everything's a trade off. The sweetest part of the doctor dealio was that he gave me TWO, count them, TWO whole months worth of Advair! Sweeeet! I'm thinking about trying to get on insurance even though it'll cost a pretty penny, cause that would take care of my asthma needs as well as Ethan's Depression, ADHD, AND asthma needs. Seems worth it, most likely.

I just went to Christina's blog today and found out that she moved to South Texas (the Valley, specifically) and Jared is to follow in a few weeks. I know it sounds jaded, but I couldn't help but wonder if he would be trying to hit this while she's out of town if I hadn't sent him packing. I kinda wish I knew, for her sake. Oh well, other's people problem, eh? Guess this will greatly reduce the odds of running in to him/them with uncomfortable results! Yay! That's a silver lining I can get behind.

As I think about the pending arrival of Father's Day and Josh's Birthday, I can't help but think that my birthday is just a few weeks later. See my sidebar for a link to my wish list. I do accept cash. :) July 10th, start saving now! This will get everyone ready for when I am a powerful person under Josh's Galactic Rule and everyone will need to pay tribute to me. I'd hate to catch everyone unawares when the time comes, so beat the rush! Get started now! It WILL be remembered when I am Mistress of Motivation. (Read:Head of dept of torture) Of course, a LACK of gift will ALSO be remembered. I'm just saying.

Ok. I just want to say that as I've never been in a normal loving reciprocal relationship before, I never realized how much it COMPLETELY ROCKS! Seriously. And I just keep loving Lawrence more and more. It's crazy. I wonder if there's some kinda curve or cap on this phenomenon. I bet this could be mathematically charted if it could be quantified. Sometimes I worry that he's gonna bug the shit out of me after a while, or that people won't want to be friend's with me because he's part of the package, and let's face it, he's not the most socially adept person I know, and he's kind of a know it all, and people find that annoying. I am aware of this, and I even find that stuff annoying sometimes. But believe it or not, I'm even starting to find that stuff endearing. Oh dear Lord, I think I'm even making myself nauseous. Plus, if I ever start finding him annoying, I can just make out with him, so it's win/win! I asked my mom once if people always have things about their partner that they don't like, and mom says that there's STILL things about Dad that when he does them, she's like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe he's doing that!" And after chatting with some other young married women, they all say the same thing. So that's a relief. So I asked Lawrence if there's anything I do that annoys him so that I could change it, and he thought about it and said that there's not anything he can think off. So then I felt like a judgmental ass. So that's super. But when I'm with him I find myself staring at him with a big goofy grin on my face. It's sickening. I'm starting to worry about me. Being a love-struck doofus never seemed like my style before. Oh well. I'll get used to it I guess.

I am so in lust for the Nintendo DS Lite. Just so you know. I am also in lust for a membership at Lifetime Fitness. They're open 24/7! The have a rock climbing area inside! Dude! It looks like the best gym ever! So I have two forms of lust (well. . .3 if you count. . .well. . .YOU know). Seven deadly sins, here I come!

I got better!

So. Yes. I want to start by saying that my last post, which was written Tuesday at lunch, was rather sad and depressing, as you might have noticed. In the afternoon, Lawrence called me and things went. . .badly. I cried. But in the end, after much talking, I realized that all these fears were the result of a combination of PMS, hunger, and my life long fear that no one could ever love me for more than a year or two because I'm difficult, or rather, a stark raving bitch lunatic. Ahahahaha. So. Well then. After we pieced that together I felt much better. Lawrence assured me that he'll love me forever, which of course he can't promise, but in a year or two when he figures it out, it'll be too late! Muah ha ha ha! Ehem. Anyhoo. And I've been trying every since to get on here and tell you people that, but blogger has been thwarting me at every turn! Maniacal! So, everything's better now. I feel happy. I think I'll go for a walk. Just kidding. Let's not get drastic. I appreciate the helpful comments, but most especially, I appreciate Josh's freaking hilarious comment. Oh my lordy, it had me laughing so hard, I started coughing. Good times. So kudos to Josh. Good work, man. Good work.

Now on to bigger and better things. I'm still completely head over heels in love with Lawrence, so no fears there, kiddos. I've been ill a little, but I'm feeling a little better. Ummm. . .I know I had other things to say, but I can't remember, so I guess it'll have to wait till next time. Laters!

doom and gloom

I woke up in the worst mood today. Last night Lawrence and I had a long talk about stuff like how he doesn't call as much or dote over me as much already, and we've only been together almost 5 months. Sometimes it feels like we've already been married for years, especially since we're not having sex. He's worried that when Ethan gets here we'll never see each other because I'm gonna be doing the mom thing, and he needs to work on his professional skills, so he'll be busy too. Today I woke up with the feeling that most marriages end in divorce, and the people who don't get divorced are miserable half the time, so what's the point? If we're already having problems, maybe it's not meant to be after all. Why should I put both of us through the misery? Maybe it's better to just end it now and avoid all the suffering. What's the point of even trying? What's the point of anything? Then I came home and didn't feel like talking about dinner, so mom got mad at me and told me my attitude better change before Ethan comes home. She can read me so well and knows exactly what to say. That was sarcasm. On the plus side, being depressed destroys my appetite, so maybe I'll lose some weight.

hello. is it me you're looking for?

My student loan people send me a notice every month telling me my loan is deferred because I'm in school. Every time the deferment date is later. Maybe I can avoid my student loan forever be merely taking one or two classes every semester!

I now am about to have the busiest weekend ever. Tonight I have to go shopping for a swim suit and at minimum of one wedding gift. I have to work all day Saturday because we're so busy at work. Then I have to go straight to a wedding reception for the daughter of some people at church. Then Sunday, I have church, obviously, which is going to be especially hard, because I no longer have any assistants, so I'll be doing everything in the library myself. I'm the head librarian at church, in case you didn't pick up on that. Then I have to go straight to Josh's, and drive two hours to get to ANOTHER wedding reception, which will last all evening, then for a fun two hour return trip. YAY! I mean, I don't mind doing any of that stuff, it's just that I would have preferred for it all to take place over a longer period. But what can you do? But looks like I will get to play very little Psychonauts this weekend. Which is a game that is AWESOME and makes me SO HAPPY! A girl at tae kwon do recommended a game for the GameCube called Defenders. She says it's the best game ever. Any thoughts?

Righty-roo. That's all I can think of right now. Oh yeah, my boss is going to start providing me with free cokes. Yay! That should MORE than make up for the lack of insurance and benefits!