I was going to say this in the comment spot of the last post, but I decided it was too long. Well, I think crazy Margie has gone back in her box now. I really appreciate all the kindness and support from everybody. Jared and I have been exchanging (sometimes rude but not always) messages, and I will definitely let you all know how this plays out. For sure we're over though. Once crazy Margie comes out, things are never the same. I also spent about an hour in the phone with Dave (Ethan's dad) last night, and that really helped. I know it's weird, but when I have a really really serious meltdown, he's who I turn to. Other than Josh, but I feel like when I have relationship problems Dave has a hand up on Josh cause Dave dated me for two years and has slept with me. (Sorry Josh, I know you want to, but it's just not gonna happen. That was a joke for people who didn't catch it.) So Dave knows me in ALL my shades of crazy, and knows my backstory so he doesn't even need catching up. The best part of the conversation was when I told him nobody could love me, and cited him as proof. Good times. He was distraught and told me extensively how that was his fault, not mine. So I guess it's just my fault that I pick these guys that can't love me, that I am not actually intrinsically unlovable. I feel sorry for him though, because he puts up with this and doesn't even get sex out of it anymore. But he kinda feels like he owes me I think. He's always saying how bad he feels for how he treated me, so maybe he feels like being there for me now makes up for the past. And his wife doesn't even mind. But when did this post become about him? I don't want to tell content of the messages until I have the whole story, so that's something to look forward to. But I feel better today, so there's no need for a suicide watch or anything like that. But when Crazy Margie left, she let me with a splitting headache. Why am I always having to pay for her shortcomings?
5 comments:
Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. It really helps to vent, and it's good that you have someone you like venting to (who doesn't minding being vented on)
i'm jealous. shemsi reads your blog. it's way better to go a little crazy on your blog. if you had done that in person, i probably would have peed my pants.
shemsi: Me too, thanks! It's is nice. My son's father is an annoying git, at least he's good for something. :)
cainnum: I can't express the excessive amount of pleasure it brings me that shemsi comments on my blog. I think it's unhealthy really. And yes. You would have peed your pants. But I hardly ever actually act the way in person, so it's all good. I didn't even act that way on Sunday.
Hey, thanks for making me feel welcome.
Also (about your post on Cainnum's blog): You know as well as I do that Andy doesn't care for your girly-girl blog with its girly-girl posts!
Oh I wasn't talking about Andy not reading my blog, darlin. :)
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