You know, I said that I have worked for three companies that have gone under, and potentially a forth. But that really doesn't fully encompass my destructive abilities. I've been thinking about this. My dour mood has been contributing to this line of thought. Let's take each item that I've destroyed in turn.
1)Relationships: I have never had a romantic relationship that has lasted longer that 2 years. Most friendships don't make it that long either.
2)Cars: Every car I've ever driven has irreparably broken down. Seriously. Like, haul it to the junk yard, it's done kinda broken down. If it's a stick, I just have to drive it a few times before the clutch goes out.
3)Jobs: Let's see here. 1st job-Sacker at Jewel Osco. Bought out. 2nd job-Cook at school cafeteria/ school short order cook/ catering/art department secretary/apartment manager. Closed down. 3rd job-cook at Red Lobster. Ok, that's still there, but I did only work there for less than a month. 4th job-Counter person at Vogue Dry Cleaners. Bankrupt. 5th job-cook at a little catering place. Closed down. 6th job-FEMA. Still there, but it's the government. They are bigger and can compensate for my powers. 7th job-Montgomery Ward. Yes. I destroyed the historic department store. It was one of the first, too. So sad. 8th job-JC Penny. Still up and running, but last I heard, they're on shaky ground. Don't bank on them lasting too long. 9th job-checker at Albertson's. Seems like they're ok, but I also only worked there for a month. 10th job-Lifetouch School Portraits. Alright. One that seems like it's on safe ground. Maybe I bottled up too much of my hate while I was there. I should have let it leak out and contaminate the place more. 11th job-American Dental Arts. Well. You already know about that. And of course, never discount my future, where I will be destroying the comic book industry.
4)School: Yes, that's right. I have brought down an entire institution of higher learning. I went to school at Phillips University from 1992-1994 and they shut their doors forever and declared bankruptcy in 1998. I feel great guilt over this one. I have many fond memories of my time there, and if I had only known that I was destroying it from the inside, I would have at least stayed long enough to graduate. I used to dream that I would go back there to get my degree someday (back before I found out about it's demise) because I really do consider it my Alma Mater, but alas, it will never be.
5)My child: Ok, so he's not "destroyed" per se, but my genetic stock gave him depression and ADHD. My bad parenting will probably screw him up for life on top of that, so lets just call it like it is. But he sure is a cute little guy.
Yeah. So that's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure that there would be more if I really put my thinking cap on. For all you that hate Mormons, just wait, maybe I can bring down the entire church. Nah, they're even bigger than the government.
8 comments:
ya know if it were me, i'd be proud of my powers of entropy, but i'm weird that way. become a scientologist. those fuckers need to be taken down a peg or two. btw if you can believe it, i posted on flooded hearts.
I had no idea of the scope of your vast powers Margie. You are truly a force to be reckoned with.
I can believe that you posted! I should too, but the story I was writing has lost its flava for me. And it's true about those Scientologists. I would join up to finish them, but I don't think I could muster the entrance fee. And you know, it's not easy being me, watching everything you care about be destroyed! Save yourselves while there's still time!
Neilson's Computer Repair, three contracts at Stream, PC Service Source, DSI, GTE, Boeing of Corinth, Express Personel, and apparently American Dental Arts...all gone after employing me. It makes it hard to write up a resume. In fact, only Voertmans and Lifetouch (and the fact that Stream is like a hydra) give me any sort of employment credibility. And, aside from the many friends who have left me in pursuit of other people, I have had TWO people I thought of a best friends move away without telling me; three resort to the occult to get rid of me; and one tell me that our year long friendship was a ruse designed to hurt me. I'm not going into cars...it's too depressing. And, I've never had a child. So...yeah...maybe it's genetic. My advice is to unconditionally forgive everyone from your past, and only go to work for people you don't like. :)
Holy crap. It does, indeed, seem to be genetic. I like the advice. Seems like a good credo for life. :) I bow to your greater powers of chaos. It seems you are better at me than EVERYTHING. Even destruction. No, really, I don't have a complex. :P
Oh hon, you sound like you're in a bad, bad place.
And if it's genetic, then I must your long lost cousin from Illinois.
Maybe, but I don't think so cause schizophrenia is just about the only form of crazy that doesn't run rampant in my family. :)
Oh my gods! I can't believe MARGIE is accusing someone of being better at everything that she is. You INVENTED being good at everything. :) And Joe, it's a pretty simple story: He was childish, evil and patient; and before we met, I took something that he wanted. If you want more details, you'll have to buy my future book, "Why the Human Race Deserves To Be Enslaved" by Evil Galactic Overlord Joshua...I said forgive, not forget. :)
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