100 Random Facts

I was recently inspired by High maintainence Hussy (this would be a perfect spot to make a hot button linking to her blog, but I don't know how to do that) to make a list of 100 random facts about myself. So here goes.

100)My father wanted to name me Jolene, after the Dolly Parton song.
99)I am actually named after both of my grandmothers.
98)When I was in 5th grade, the peak of technology was the Apple E and the original Mac. My favorite games: Oregon Trail and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. Any game you have to have an encyclopedia to play is all right by me.
97)I am naturally a type A personality. I had to teach myself how to be a slacker.
96)All through my childhood, I waffled between wanting to be an astronaut and and a doctor when I grew up. All those little girls in first grade who wanted to be a nurse or a teacher made me sick.
95)I am not an astronaut or a doctor. I am a Dental Technician. I never even finished college.
94)I planned on being chaste until marriage. I actually lost my virginity a month before my 19th birthday. I'd be willing to bet I would have lost it sooner if the guys in high school had put some effort in.
93)People are always telling me I don't seem like a Margie. When asked what I do seem like, the number one answer by far is Jo. See number 100 for the irony.
92)The number two vote is for Toni. Apparently girl names aren't my thing.
91)I've always wished I was a twin. I just KNOW I would have had telepathic abilities if I were.
90)My favorite alcohol is spiced rum.
89)My favorite mixed drinks are extra dirty vodka martinis and cherry vodka sours. Neither of these have rum in them.
88)In college I invented a drink. I'm not sure of the measurements, but I think it would be about 2 fingers of spiced rum, 4 fingers orange juice, and a finger of cran-rasberry juice. It tastes just like chocolate milk. Uncanny. 87)I don't like pot. It makes me sleepy and paranoid. I can be sleepy and paranoid all on my own.
86)The best Christmas present I ever remember getting was something I received in high school. My dad had fallen of a telephone pole and was in ICU for a while, so the people at church got together stuff to give us so that we would have Christmas. One of the things I got was a pair of silky pink bikini cut panties. I LOVED them. My mom would only buy me white cotton granny panties, which I HATED!
85)My first crush was in Kindergarten on a boy named Castle. He was blonde. I think it's weird, cause I don't find blondes very attractive anymore.
84)When I was in Kindergarten, I had a dress I didn't really like that my mom made me. It was white with pink roses on it and it was very girly. I wore it because the skirt was so full that I could spin around when Castle was near so he could see my panties. I kid you not.
83)I also had a crush on my dad's cousin Ken. He was blonde and very tan and had really broad muscular shoulders. I noticed this when I was a small child. I think I was born to be a slut.
82)By the time I was 6, I had gotten at least 6 fully grown men to agree to be my boyfriend, at the same time. I called all of them my boyfriends, and they thought it was cute.
81)By the time I was 5, I had mastered the "cute flirty look." I used it to get truckers to honk at me.
80)When I was five, I ate a bad ham sandwich that gave me food poisoning. I still can't eat ham.
79)I got my first grey hair the summer I turned 10. My parents always put a lot of pressure on me to be responsible for things around the house, and that summer my mom got third degree burns over most of her stomach and my brother broke his leg. It was a hard summer.
78)I was a sacker at the grocery store when I was seventeen. I pointed out to my friend Cathy that the only girls the manager hired either looked like guys or were really hot, and I didn't fit either category. She looked at me like I was an idiot, and asked me if I've ever seen my boobs before.
77)I went to Robert E Lee Elementary School until third grade. It never occurred to me that the name was controversial.
76)When I was in Kindergarten, my goal in life was to be teacher's pet. I accomplished this dream in third grade. 75)In first grade, I had surgery on my bladder to remove a blockage from my urethra that they said was making me wet the bed.
74)I wet the bed till third grade.
73)After my surgery, a boy invited me to try out his new bike. I told him I couldn't ride a bike because I just had surgery. My fundamental Pentecostal babysitter freaked out and told me "We don't discuss things like that with boys." I didn't get it.
72)I still don't get it.
71)I used to spend the night with a girl who had these huge stuffed animals, and she would want to pretend they were our husbands and make out with them, and then pretend to have sex with them.
70)In retrospect, that really wigs me out. Actually, it kinda wigged me out at the time.
69)When I was a teenager, my nickname among my church friends was Peanut Butter Canary.
68)Other nicknames I've had are: Butter,
67)Margarine,
66)Tomato,
65)Chuckles,
64)Tart (as in Tart and Tiny-my best friend in college was very short.),
63)Low Fat Butter,
62)PBC
61)I had a boyfriend who used to call blow jobs "Vipers." It originated when I asked why guys love blow jobs so much, and he said, "Why would we want to drive a ferrari if we can drive a viper?" So now everytime I hear about a viper, I think about oral sex.
60)I like pecan flavoring, but I don't like pecans.
59)I LOVE peanut butter, but I don't care for peanuts.
58)I think avocados are the most sublime food on earth.
57)I drive fast. I can't help it. I just can't stand driving slow. Tickets be damned.
56)I think the government has no right to tell me I have to wear a seatbelt while I'm driving.
55)I think drugs should be legal, even though I have no interest in doing them. I think if idiots want to kill themselves off, they should have the right.
54)I love carbonation. It makes me happy.
53)My favorite color is red. Blood red.
52)I really wish vampires, witches, and all that other fantasy crap were real, but it's not, and wishing ain't gonna change that.
51)I love creating characters. When my friends talked me into role playing, I found I could create character after character. Unfortunately, I don't really enjoy role playing. I wish I could get paid for making up characters, complete with back story and motivation and everything. I think I could do it 40 hours a week if I had to.
50)When I was a small child, my favorite show was The Bugaloos. The five people alive who actually remember this show can tell you about it.
49)When I got older, wouldja believe my favorite show was Get Smart?
48)My favorite show of all time is Xena:Warrior Princess. Sad, but true.
47)When I was a small child, my favorite bands were Kiss and The Village People. I liked them because they dressed up.
46)One year, when I was very young, for Halloween I dressed as one of the guys from Kiss. The one with a star around his eye.
45)I used to have a pierced belly button. I got it done a month before I got pregnant. A month into my pregnancy it got super infected and I had to take it out.
44)When I was at my great-aunt's house in my early teens, I experienced MTV for the first time. The first video I ever saw was Take On Me by AHA. It was all downhill from there.
43)My hair was black when I was born, fell out and grew in strawberry blonde, then changed to brown.
42)I've dyed my hair black, auburn, red, dark brown, red-red, and even blonde. That was a very bad idea and it only lasted two weeks.
41)A makeup artist once told me I have the "perfect" face shape, and I can wear my hair any length I want as a result.
40)I was asked to model for an amateur photographer in college. The person who recommended me to him was who I considered to be the prettiest girl in school. The photographer was pleased because he said he had seen me around, but didn't approach me because he was afraid I would think he was a freak or a pervert. I was and still am surprised by the fact that they wanted me.
39)Sometimes when I like people in authority, they think I'm being a kiss-up when I'm not.
38)One of my college professors offered to get me into a full-scholarship program where I could go to our sister school in Sweden. My friends all thought I should take it cause all the hot Swedish guys would want to date me cause I'm an American. I turned it down cause I have that SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder or something) thing where you get depressed in the winter.
37)A guy once asked me to be a backup singer in his band. The position would have required me to dance around scantily clad.
36)I haven't had sex for 9 years and 8 months. Believe me. I'm counting. And it's by choice.
35)I gave up manipulating people because it's wrong, but sometimes, it would be so easy, I hurt inside from not doing it.
34)For years, I used to cry weekly from the fear that I was going to turn out like my mother.
33)I used to have some friends who thought it was funny to put their porn to an interesting spot and then turn it on when I was in the room cause I don't watch porn. One of the things I saw that way was a woman dressed as a nurse, wearing a strap on, raping another woman. I am disturbed by the fact that it turned me on.
32)The one of a Japanese man trying to rape a teenage school girl made me angry and upset, so that makes me feel a little better.
31)I did watch cartoon porn. It was hilarious!
30)The first alcoholic drink I ever had was a bloody mary.
29)I've dated men 14 years older than me, 21 years older than me, and 10 years younger than me. Yet people get mad at me when I say I don't approve of people dating when there's a major age difference.
28)I knew in my heart that racism was wrong when I was four, despite the fact that my parents are racist. But I still don't want to date Mexicans. (Just Mexicans. Any other ethnicity is fine by me. And I don't have a problem with them in any other way.)
27)I want to marry a Mormon. But I've only loved two men. Neither were Mormon.
26)I read too much Heinlein in my important developmental years. My views on politics and sexuality are completely out of the norm because of him, and I really don't have a problem with that.
25)I feel like a pervert because I think Harry Potter's getting pretty damn hot.
24)Slap a pair of little glasses on a guy and I'll think he's hot. Seriously.
23)My first boyfriend got both his ear's pierced because I like guys with both ears pierced. His wife was pretty upset about it.
22)Yes, he was married before I started dating him. But she lived on a different continent, in my defense.
21)I can say the alphabet backwards with no problem.
20)I have always had a hard time pronouncing the word 'rural'.
19)I cuss like a sailor. I don't have a problem with that either. I started cussing when I was 9.
18)I hate guys with tattoos. Especially if they have them all over the damn place.
17)I love Jaguars, the cars. They are sexy.
16)I am a pragmatic romantic. I wish things could be like in the movies and fairy tales, but I know they never will be.
15)My eyes were brown when I was born. They changed to hazel, but mostly a brown sort of hazel. When I was in college they changed to a green hazel. They also change colors based on my moods.
14)I love being surrounded by lots of small things. Flocks of birds, falls of leaves, stuff like that. It's cool. It makes my souls sing.
13)I have asbestos hands. I've actually had my finger in boiling water and not noticed.
12)I wish the CIA would recruit me as a spy or a sniper.
11)I didn't really get why people liked music until I was 16 and was at a church dance. They played Walk the Dinosaur (by was(not was)), Stand (by REM), and Rock Lobster (by the B-52's), and suddenly I knew why people liked music. With that epiphany, I had found my genre: alternative! Then the DJ announced that those were three of the weirdest songs ever written, the fact that I don't fit in and never will was forever sealed in my head.
10)I didn't talk till I was 1 1/2, but I started with full sentences.
9)I spend a lot of my time thinking up fantasies about what I would do in different situations, like if I suddenly got sent back in time to the 1500's or was summoned into a different dimension to take the place of an evil version of me.
8)I hate sprite and grape soda. Separately, I've never tried them together.
7)I have a dark brown birthmark the size of a dime on my right shoulder. I think it's kinda sexy.
6)I've been called a lesbian (or other less friendly variations) more times than I can remember. I think it's funny, cause I think about sex with men more often than I can even count. Just because I'm tall with broad shoulders, and I don't dress slutty and openly flirt with men doesn't mean I'm not into men.
5)I've been called a cold-hearted bitch by both of my parents on separate occasions. And by sundry others.
4)I have a bizarre and incomprehensible attraction to Alan Rickman. Especially as Snape.
3)I've tried to pretend to like sports for guys, but I just can't fake it.
2)I really wish I could play a musical instrument, but not enough to put much effort into getting lessons or anything like that.
1)I love reading and I love taking showers. If only they would invent a book that you could read in the shower, my life would be complete.

There. You see what happens when I have free time? I hope everyone has learned a lesson from this and will try to keep me busy from now on.