Type-me

I love stereotypes. They make life so easy. Like if someone needed to describe somebody, it's much easier to say, "you know, that white rapper dude," than to have to be all like, "the guy with brown hair, no the other one, you know, the one with green eyes," and so on and so forth. So I have decided that I want to be stereotyped. But the problem is that I don't really fit into any stereotypes. I could probably pull off Jewish princess pretty easily, but the big problem with that is that I am neither Jewish, nor am I rich. Which I would really like to try. I'm not black, Hispanic, Asian, middle eastern, or European, so there's a whole set stereotypes that are right out. I am Mormon, so I guess I can go for Molly Mormon, but then I'd have to be frumpy and get a lobotomy, so I guess that's not gonna fly either. I'm technically a Republican, but I am no where near right wing enough to pull off right-wing nut job. I can't be an eco-terrorist because that would require way too much effort. My apathy is way too stalwart to be toppled by some owls and trees and crap. I think it would be pretty easy for me to gear up into femo-nazi, but they're usually lesbians and, well, I prefer me some man-log. I definitely could do the nympho route if it weren't for this damn religion of mine. Oh yeah-and I don't really like being called a slut. There have been many versions of "hippy" applied to me. Hippy sheik, hippy chick, modern hippy, flower child. I guess I could do that, as long I was a main stream kind of hippy that gets to shave and use deodorant. You know, the kind with lots of cats and wind chimes that wear long flowing skirts and has long wavy hair. But wait, I love wearing black. And I am not giving up my leather jackets. Damn it. I'm not cool enough to be city sheik. Maybe if I had a more expensive leather jacket, substantially more black in my wardrobe, went to snobby art shows and wore sunglasses all the time I could do that whole scene. Oh, but I like to smile sometimes, so I guess that won't work either. No way I could ever do jock or bubbly girl. Damn. It looks like there's just no stereotype for me. A friend once told me that I am gesamtkunstwerk, which literally means, "synthesis of the arts." It's used to describe any integration of art forms. I guess being that and being stereotyped don't really go together. If anyone has a suggestion for a stereotype that I could slide into pretty easily, please, feel free to tell me! I am open and eager for suggestions.