Well, today the other shoe finally dropped. For a year now, I have been waiting for the day that Lawrence and I would run into his ex-wife. Every time we went to Scarborough or anything for one of his friends or a church event outside of our immediate area, we always worried that she would be there and what the fallout would be. So today was the wedding of some of Lawrence's friends, and when Lawrence called a few weeks ago to RSVP, the information was volunteered that his ex hadn't RSVP'd yet. So we really didn't even worry about it. Then today, we walk into the church just barely in time, and sitting on a bench is a red head that waves at Lawrence and Lawrence gave a little wave back to just before the groom and best man walked up and started talking to Lawrence and myself. So I don't think anything of the red head at first because I'll be honest, the main feature that stuck in my head about Becky (that's her name for anyone who didn't catch on) is that her hair was curly curly, and this woman's hair was straight. But then I got to percolating and wondering if that was her. So we go in and sit on a pew, and she sits down in the very back, and I'm sitting there wondering if it's her and being annoyed that she's behind us so I can't look at her but she can watch me all she wants, when Lawrence says, "Oh, I'm sorry! I should have re-introduced you and Becky! I didn't even think about it!" And I said, "So that IS her. I wasn't sure cause I really didn't remember what she looked like very well." We sit there for a couple of minutes and then she gets up and comes and sits RIGHT BEHIND US. Like, directly behind Lawrence, on the seat immediately behind ours! My exact thoughts: "THAT BITCH!" So that made me uncomfortable, but I figure ya know, if she wants to watch Lawrence and myself hold hand and chat and smile with each other, than that's her problem.
After the ceremony, everyone files out, and as soon as Lawrence and I clear the chapel doors, there's Becky, who proceeded to attach herself to us for almost the rest of the time we were there. She was oh so nice and oh so friendly. All asking me what I'm doing these days, (and what great restraint it took me to not say, "Your ex!") and how's 'Evan' doing, (when I had already called him Ethan and she knew damn well what his name is) and telling wedding horror stories and whatnot. I got a huge tension headache from the stress of not stabbing her in the eye, and my face hurt from smiling so much. Not only did I not kick her ass for screwing up my potential future husband so that he's totally gun shy about getting married again, nobody could even tell that I hate her with a passion! Lawrence said that if he didn't know better, he'd have thought that I actually enjoyed spending time with her. She was there with a guy named David (who seemed like an unpleasant little man, but whom Lawrence says is a real fun guy when he lets lose, and also whom Lawrence says would really like a shot with Becky but she would never go for because he's not a member of our church) who looked really annoyed every time Becky spoke directly to Lawrence, and that kinda make me chuckle inside. Cause I'm mean like that. When Lawrence and I said we were leaving, Becky actually hugged me. HUGGED! WTF?!?
I wondered what Becky['s game was. I figure maybe she thinks that if she's all nice that maybe Lawrence will see what a prize he gave up and take her back. OR that maybe she's like me and in a circumstance like this she likes to keep her friends close and her enemies closer. OR one time she told Lawrence that she "just misses her best friend" and maybe she was trying to be nice to me so that he would see that she isn't trying to get back with him, but we can all be friends! (fat chance.) Lawrence thinks that she's doing the good Christian martyr thing and going, "I'll put in the happy face because I want him to be happy, even if it's not with me." Whatever her reasons are, I'm glad it's finally over and I don't have the threat hanging over my head anymore. And on the plus side (and mushy side), I really feel like Lawrence and I grew closer today. He's such a sweetheart. :)
And in related news, the bride and bride's maids were wearing some of the ugliest and most unflattering dresses I've ever seen. Bride's over 50 (and over weight) should NEVER wear sleeveless. I'm just saying.
9 comments:
wow. apparently everyone thinks I'm crazy and over reacting, or nobody reads my blog anymore ever. Sad really.
Hey! I called you about this post! I'm not nobody! ...am i? *runs out of the room sobbing*
But seriously, the situation you described could be interpreted lots of ways depending on stuff like body language and expression. And those things don't convey well in text. So, it's hard to give an opinion because I'm missing so much vital data. And, you were there, so I just agreed with you (you seem the reliable sort); unfortunately, agreeing with someone with nothing further to say doesn't really make for an interesting comment. Luckily, I was in a pretty type-y mood for this follow-up comment. Horray!
*shhh* I was trying to make all the others feel guilty! I didn't forget about YOU, silly!
I was going to post a comment, but after your reaction to my last comment, I thought I'd better keep my mouth shut :)
I thought, based solely on what you wrote, that it sounded like you were over reacting, but then I figured you probably have way more background info on her then I do so your judgement of the situation was probably well placed...especially since I wasn't there to interpret, as Josh said. But I didn't want to say any of that as it could come out wrong. ;)
Shemsi: My reaction last time was an attempt at dry humour. I guess it didn't work as well in print as it did in my head. Sorry if I offended you, I really didn't mean to. In the spring, I tend to be more abrasive because I feel like crap from allergies, but I don't usually realize it until after the fact. (I don't realize about the abrasive I mean, I know about the allergies right when they happen.)
Kiera: Yeah, I was afraid it would seem that I was over-reacting. Here's more info: when we all knew each other back in '94, she and I didn't speak to each other for the last few months that they were in my ward because she and I had a falling out. She even stopped coming to the dry cleaners where I worked if it was my shift, and now that I'm dating her ex-husband, she's all buddy buddy? Especialy since in the two years that they've been divorced, she has been calling him on a regular basis, usually with some bullshit reason, but she sometimes tells him things like that she just wants her best friend back and he's the love of her life and what not. So I have a hard time believing that she would like me that much. Think of it this way: if you found out your husband was in a serious relationship before he met you, and their parting wasn't friendly and a mutual decision, and his ex showed up and wanted to spend the afternoon with the two of you, how much would you like it? Plus I don't like her. :)
Oh yeah, I forgot you knew her before...and I thought the divorce thing was mutual. That makes more sense now. :P
I think in this situation you probably have the right to ask L to shut her out completely, what with the call blocking and the no weddings that include her and the switching churches if that's an issue.
You're making it sound like this woman's presence is not only annoying you but is affecting your relationship. At the very least, you should be making it clear to L that youd did NOT enjoy spending time with her, and the whole situation is something you are NOT cool with, and if he's not on your side about it then that's a whole other thing.
andy: It had been effecting our relationship back when I felt like he still might fall for her if she showed that she had changed, but I was actually very pleased with Lawrence in this instance. He was annoyed with her, but not a complete wreck like he used to be everytime he had to deal with her, which says to me that he's not letting her affect him so much anymore.
We have talked about him changing his number, and being more forceful in letting her know not to call him. He was more forceful, and the number of calls dropped dramatically. If she continues to call after we're engaged, he's said he will change his number. He feels bad about just telling her to sod off completely though, as he feels that he should at least be polite to a woman he was married to for 15 years, no matter how he actually feels about her. I think he's a little TOO noble, but if he weren't, he wouldn't be Lawrence. :)
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