You know how there is a common apocalyptic theme of something happening and every person on Earth dies leaving just a single man and woman, and they must repopulate the species? I mean, of course there's variations on this theme; stranded on an island together, lost on another planet together, etc. Ok, is it just me, or does that seem like really poor planning? I think that if I were the last woman on earth, I would say, "listen baby, I like you a lot, and I'll be glad to get my jollies with you, (cause let's face it. If you are the last couple on earth, you're married and aloud to have sex. And you will, no matter how unattractive you find them at first. A few months or years or decades, that person will eventually start looking pretty damn good to ya.) but the human race dies here, darlin'."
There are several good reasons behind this decision. The first, and most important being that two people simply do not have a good enough genetic spread to create a race. There would be freaky mutants and horrible miscarriages all over the place. And no one wants that. Especially me, the potential Eve of this band of freaks. See, that's from the scientific angle, now for the ew gross angle. All my children would be brothers and sisters. And no matter how much I try to conceive of a society where it's ok for siblings to get on the dirty mattress dance, I just can't. Yes, maybe I'm conditioned by my puritanical society, but it's me that's making this decision, so there you go. Lastly, living here in a neighborhood with very few children around, I have worried extensively about my son's socialization. And to be honest, he ain't exactly the best socialized kid in the world. So what would happen if he were the ONLY kid in the world. I'll tell you what would happen. Cain and Able. Yeah, that's right. I mean, Cain was the only child in the world, the apple (no pun intended) of his parents eye for several years. Then along comes Able, his first competition, EVER. I mean can you blame the guy for getting really killer sibling rivalry? It's just really not an emotionally healthy situation.
So, yeah. If I were the last woman on earth, it would be prime time for the dolphins to make their big evolutionary move. Just like mammals did when the dinosaurs kicked off. It's all about evolution, it's natural and part of life. Don't cry for the human race if that happens, it's just one of those things. And chances are, unless you're the one guy who'll be stuck with me, you'll be dead, so you won't cry anyway. Of course, knowing my luck, I'll be in a bank vault with my brother when the meteor fries everyone else into little piles of dust and I STILL won't be able to get laid. Yep, that's just how my luck seems to go.
8 comments:
I think I learned in Institute that Cain and Able weren't the only kids Adam and Eve had at the time...there were a bunch before them and I think there may have been some in between as well. Not that that was the point of your story. ;)
Shut it you. When I want your opinion I'll cut off the top off your head and scoop it out. :) See, I was going on the assumption that they were the two oldest, so let's just assume that for the purposes of my story that that is how it was. :)
Uh...okay, whatever you say it's your blog. :D
That's right dag-gummit.
Hmmm...I think I would take that opportunity to peruse the vast wealth of human knowledge to create an AI driven cyborg race that far exceeded humans in every way! Or, with all of our spare time, we could create a NEW race using the genetic stock of animals! Oh, the possibilities are endless... I hope all of that science-y fun doesn't give me a god complex... then again, it'd only annoy one person, so what the heck.
Yeah-only think of your OWN fun! Jerk.
I'll need someone to train my new race and give them that killer instinct. And, when I think of violence...you always spring to mind.
Awww, you always say the sweetest things!
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