downer

I know the only person who reads this already knows, but for anyone who stumbles in here by accident: My mom died suddenly last week from an anuerism that exploded deep in her brain and immediately destroyed her entire upper brain.

I know that she's in a better place, and I'm actually doing pretty well, but this has had a surprising side effect on me. Well, maybe not so surprising when I think about it. I'm lonely.

You see, it's like this: when my last boyfriend dumped me, part of the reason was that I had gained some weight and he thought I was going to end up like my mom, who weighed over 350 lbs, was wheelchair bound, had type 2 diabetes, arthritis, severe kidney disease, etc. This has been a fear that every guy I've ever dated has expressed. When my brother died, I did put on some weight, and when I got dumped, I basically decided that there was no reason to even try because I obviously have such a horrible personality that I'm only desirable if I have an hourglass figure. I essentially decided that I have a fabulous family and school to worry about, so I would forget about dating and marraige and just be here. I then proceeded to put on a lot more weight. (Not as much as mom, though.)

Now that Mom's dead, I guess it's made me realize that my family won't be here forever. Dad will die, Ethan will grow up and move away, and who knows what Josh will do. OK, he might be here forever. :) I mean, I knew all this intellectually, but they were concerns for the distant future, not something to worry about. Suddenly, I feel like getting myself in order and finding someone. Not that I've had any success in the past, but still. Maybe if I start dieting and working out, I can be attractive again by the time I graduate. It actually makes me pretty angry that I apparently have to work like a dog to get something that almost everyone in the U.S. gets like 15 years+ before me, and that I just have to acknowledge the fact that no man will ever love me unless I'm hot. *sigh*

In other news, I got on facebook against all expectation. I just got friended by a guy who I totally thought was gay. Apparently he has a girlfriend! Weird. Maybe she's a beard.

No homework!

Well the semester has come to an end and I came out with 3 A's and a B, raising my overall GPA to 3.0. Considering how in the tank my GPA was after my drinking years, I'm pretty pleased with that. I was very surprised about the B because it was in Art History and I was expecting a C.

In other news, I have developed a nasty growth. I'm exaggerating. The 5 year old girl from next door has taken a liking to me and now comes over every single day. It wouldn't be that big a deal, but my dad HATES having people in our house and insists that I hover over her every single second that she's here, and if I don't jump on her fast enough when she does something he wouldn't like, he yells at her (literally) and gets upset with me. So it leaves me feeling like I have a particularly ill behaved small child and gets me all irritated. I wish that there were any little kids in our neighborhood for her to play with. Or, I wish that my dad weren't so angry. Either would work, really. Plus, my dad worries that she's going to bring her hoodlum 17 year old brother over, which I don't see happening, but whatever.

Ethan's favorite YM advisor got released, so Ethan is totally bummed. But then he got called to be our home teacher, so that's cool. But Ethan only wanted to go to scout camp because he likes that guy, so now he's trying to weasel out of it. It's not going to work. His dad is also sending him to EFY, so that should be exciting.

Well, my cat has decided that he simply MUST take a bath between me and my computer, so this is growing difficult. Hasta!

Lady Fortune Smiles

All my life, I have never been a winner. As a kid, I was always a finalist in the TWU wildflower art competition, but never took the big prize. As an adult, the best thing I ever won was a giant inflatable hot dog, which I immediately gave away. Suddenly, the tide seems to be changing. Last month, my technical editing teacher said that a few of us needed to go to the grad school expo and collect brochures. I was one person chosen to go, and of course, when I went, I entered the door prize competition. A couple of weeks later I got an email that I had won a free meal at McAllister's. I don't care for McAllister's cause I think it's too expensive, but if it's free, hey, it's free! So that's cool, but not world changing.

A couple of weeks ago, I randomly decided to go to Recycled Books and Records, and they said that since I spent over $20 I could enter a drawing for a $75 gift certificate. Today I got a call that I won! Now THAT'S a prize I'm on board with!

I can't help but wonder if the universe has been saving up all my luck for now. I could certainly handle winning some design competitions while I'm in school cause that would really help when it comes to job seeking. In technical editing, we've been split into groups and we had to design a brochure, poster, and give away item promoting the technical writing and linguistic department, and the best one is going to be used by the school. Tuesday we're presenting our design to the committee. Keep your fingers crossed for THAT win!

Comm Design and Me

I am taking my first class in the communication design program, which is called design thinking. I'm learning a lot, and that's good, but I am having some problems. The biggest problem is that it's a pretty exclusive program. I know that doesn't sound like a problem, but the thing is...well, I know it sounds egotistical, but I'm pretty used to being one of the most talented people in the class as far as art classes art concerned. In this class I am not amongst the best. I am pretty mediocre actually. It's pretty rough on my ego, and it has me questioning if I have any real talent for this stuff. But, we're only finishing the first project, so I definitely won't do anything drastic until I've gotten a few more projects under my belt. It's just got me feeling discouraged, but I'll get over it. To top it off, in my technical editing class, I was designing a brochure, poster, and mouse pad for a group project and this other guy decided to help, and whipped up a design that was way better than mine. *sigh* Maybe I should just quit and open up a cupcake bakery. :)

Winter!

I guarantee that anyone reading this post is already well aware that a veritable blizzard has cause the entire North Texas area to come to a complete standstill this week, but I would be negligent if I didn't comment on how this crazy weather has affected me and mine, so here I go. Both my school and Ethan's school have been cancelled since Tuesday, so we've all been home. What a great time to catch up or even get ahead on school work, right?!? Well, no. I spent the first few days mostly sleeping because the extreme cold caused my arthritis to flare up and I got such a bad crick in my neck that I could barely move my right arm and was in extreme pain with every movement, or sometimes even when I took a breath. It started Monday night, and when I woke up Tuesday morning to make sure Ethan's school was cancelled I was literally writhing in pain. I took two ibuprofen, which didn't even touch it, so I ended up waking up my parents to beg for a prescription pain killer. (I know, it's illegal, but seriously, you have that kind of pain and see what you'll do!) They handed me a bottle in the darkened room, I took a pill and ate a slice of bread to avoid stomach problems and went mack to bed. Before long, I was dead to the world. Even when I eventually woke up, I was still groggy. It turned out that they gave me Oxycontin, famed the world over for being awesomely addictive. I don't see how anyone could get addicted to it, cause I would never be able to get anything done! I took more of the fabulous stuff the next two nights until my crick finally subsided to the point that I can function. Now if it acts up (which it does when I make dinner) ibuprofen does the job nicely.

Our hot water has been frozen since day one of this situation, which means no shower. Eww. I am so gross it's not even funny. On top of that, I needed to do laundry going in, so I've been dirty and wearing dirty clothes to boot. Just one hour ago our hot water started flowing in every room except my parent's bathroom, so I quickly put a load of laundry on and as soon as it's in the dryer I will be in the shower until the hot water is gone! I also set Ethan on the dishes, much to his dismay, but I think he can cope. Oh, shampoo, how I long for your sweet embrace!

Dad and I went to the store on Wednesday (which did not help my crick one bit). Dad worked for the phone company for over 30 years, which means that he had to work no matter what the weather was and has tons of experience driving in crappy crap. Man, I've never seen such thick layers of ice in all my days! In the store parking lot, the ice was literally an inch and a half thick, and solid as could be. And very slippery. Fortunately I have huge snowshoe-like feet that keep me stable under most circumstances. I did slip a little at one point, but didn't fall, thank heavens. I think if I had, my spine would have staged a rebellion and left for warmer climes.

I'm supposed to have a test in my Design Thinking class on Monday, and I don't know if my teacher is going to postpone it or if she's going to say, "Hey, we already covered everything in class, so you should be ready!" I really need to start practicing my illustrator skills, since this is the first class of my major and all. My art history teacher has postponed the due date of our assignment, so yay for him! Anyhoo. My video games aren't gonna play themselves...wait, is the washer finished? Gotta go!

Back to School

It is 11:55, Monday night and tomorrow morning I am going back to school. For anyone who didn't hear my screams of excitement, I did get into the design program. I keep meaning to take pictures of the pieces I used, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. I will soon, I promise! The problem is the light is crap in my house, so I have to take them elsewhere for the shoot or they turn out all pixelated. But, just so you know, I did some work on the hand one and the leafy still life and used those for the drawing choices. I also made some changes to the collage and used it, but I did not use the black with white spots. I got to looking through my grade sheets and realized that I had a black and white piece that was better, so I did a little work on it and used it. I'll show you next time.

Sadly, I didn't respond to the email telling me that I had gotten in quickly enough, so I got stuck in the 8 am class! This sucks partly because I am not a morning person, and they are going to expect me to be awake for a class called "Design Thinking" at time of day when I generally don't do any thinking. It also sucks because my son doesn't have to be at school until 8:15 and there is no bus service to our house. So my dad, who is also not a morning person will have to take him to school three days a week. Which he will probably lord over my head anytime he wants me to do anything. lol.

Since I am now a comm design major AND an English major, I am taking two art classes and two English classes. I think my brain will probably explode.

Also, Ethan had a cold last week, which he generously shared with me, so I get to start school with an annoying head cold. Thankfully his didn't last too long.

Avoidance and procrastination

You'd think that I would have learned by now. I mean, I am a full-on grown up. Meaning in age of course, not lifestyle, heaven forbid. :) So I am up to my old habits. They got me through high school, so apparently I've decided to stick with them. I'm referring to my study habits.

You see, I fully believe in putting off till tomorrow what I should be doing today. As a result of this, I am sitting here at 12:46 in the morning, blogging about how I'm probably going to fail my anthropology lab final tomorrow. I knew it was coming for half the semester. I went to a review on Friday. Then...I waited until almost 9 tonight to start studying. And this is some hard crap, too, not stuff you can fit in your head at the last minute. I have to learn all the primate taxonomy and the evolutionary steps of primates from the Miocene down to yours truly. I also have to be able to identify and justify my ID of skulls of various evolutionary stepping stones. Yeah. I am so screwed. This stuff is hard. *pout* And boring. And the book doesn't explain it very well. *pout pout* I hates it.

But, in other news, my mom's kidney doctor told her that if she didn't start eating a diabetes friendly diet she would be on dialysis within 2 years. So, she's quit sugar cold turkey, and man is she going through some major detox. Yesterday she had a massive headache that she couldn't get rid of. But, I for one am glad, because dad has vowed to support her in this and has stopped bringing home goodies every other day. Seriously, he would make special trips to the store every two days for cookies or donuts. So now maybe Ethan and I can benefit from the ebb of the sugar tide. I have noticed our families' orange consumption has increased dramatically. :D

I wonder if I should keep studying or call it a lost cause?

Jury-time

In order to get into the communication design program, I have to be accepted by a jury one month from now. What this means is I have to jump through their hoops or drop out of school and turn to prostitution for my career. They only do the jury once a year, so if I don't get in I have to wait another year or change my major. According to my professor, about 200 people will be applying and about 40-60 will get in. Yikes! So I want some help picking my pictures. I can only submit two design oriented pictures and two drawing oriented pictures. Below I will tell you the requirements and present you with my options.

Design:

2 examples of 2-D design that demonstrates the following compositional skills: (one must be in black and white or grey scale, the other must be in color.)

a. Submit work that demonstrates your understanding of figure/ground;

b. Submit work that demonstrates your understanding of the principles of visual gestalt (repetition, similarity, proximity, closure, and continuity);

c. Submit work that demonstrates your understanding of asymmetrical compositional structure (this must be demonstrated in at least one of the two pieces);

d. Submit work that demonstrates a knowledge of color manipulation as it applies to a pattern-effectively apply two or more of the following formal attributes of color:
1. value (how light or dark a specific area of color or gray appears);
2. amount (the areas within a given compositional space occupied by a specific color);
3. saturation (how pure or grayed-down a specific area of color appears);
4. complementary contrast (the relationship between colors opposite each other on the color wheel).


For the black and white one, I'm choosing a piece that the head of the design department was ga-ga over. She even showed it to the class in lecture and asked me questions about it. I know, right!
Obviously, this one will cover the need for an asymmetrical design as well.

In my class, we really didn't do many color pieces, and several of them were 3-D, so I can't use them. I figure my only choice is this one:

It's a collage, and it's not really my favorite piece of all time, but it's color, so what can ya do? My teacher didn't like the tile pieces at the bottom, so I'm going to pull them off and replace them with broken brown root beer bottles. It's either that or make something new. So yeah. Drawing is where I'm having the hard time, so here we go.

Drawing

2 examples of drawing that demonstrate skills chosen from the following list: (these pieces must not be renderings based on photography, nor can they be products of your imagination--they must be depictions of real-life situations)

a. Submit work that demonstrates your understanding and ability to render perspective: one-point perspective, atmospheric perspective, or two-point perspective are all acceptable.

b. Submit work that demonstrates your understanding of value through your rendering of still-life.

c. Submit work that demonstrates your abilities to render the human figure--nude figures are preferred as subject matter but not required.

So, I think that for the figure drawing one I'll use this picture of my mom's hand:

I'm not sure if they consider this figure drawing, but the hand IS the hardest part of the body to draw, so it should count, right?

Another option is this one for value:

OR, if we can count a drapery as a still life, I could use this one:

Is a drapery a still life? I just don't know!

And I could use this one for atmospheric perspective:

For that last one, I feel like I need to sharpen up the lines, cause I think they got smudged in storage. It's more confusing on the computer than in real life. And, I got a 98 on this one, so apparently it's pretty dang good, so I think I might go with this one and the hand one. What's your opinion?

Dilemmons

(I was making a pun about dilemmas combined with lemons in case you didn't get it.)

This week I was thrown a major curve in my educational expectations. I was expecting to get into the Comm Design program and then take the classes as fast as I can to graduate in 2012. Then my comm design professor was talking about registration and told us that we can only take the classes in the order they allow us to take them. Meaning next semester I can only take one comm design class, the semester after that I can only take two, etc, etc. There are several problems with this. I have already taken all of my core classes and am nearing the hours cap at which you lose financial aid. So my choices seemed to be either take one or two classes a semester and not get financial aid anyway, change to an interdisciplinary degree which would let me graduate sooner but not teach me the things I want to learn, or switch to a double major and the hour cap requirements magically disappear.

So I went to talk to the technical writing advisor about getting a degree in technical writing. I found out that they only have a minor in technical writing which doesn't get rid of the hour cap. They have applied for a degree in technical writing, but it won't be in place until 2012 which doesn't help me at all. So I had to make an appointment with the English advisor.

I went to see the English advisor and told her my problem. She told me what classes I would need to be an English major specializing in technical writing, and it seems alright. I'll have to take 24 hours of English classes, which I don't think is that bad, considering that some of them I've already taken. The problem is that the core requirements for an English major are more rigorous than for an art major, and I'll need to take 6 hours of an intermediate foreign language.

I have taken 6 hours of beginning Japanese, and 3 hours of beginning Spanish. The problem is I took them over a decade ago. Now I love Japanese, but I have known Japanese people who were forgetting it because it's such a freaking hard language. There is no way I remember enough to jump into intermediate Japanese. The problem with Spanish is...I hate Spanish. I don't know why. I know that it's super useful in this area and it would be a really good idea to know it, but I took it in junior high and I took it in college and my mind rebels because I simply don't give a crap.

So it seems like my choices are: 1) Tell my brain to suck it up and take Spanish. 2) Try to get some at home remembering on my Japanese skills and jump into the deep end. 3) Start over with beginning Japanese and just retake those two classes. 4) Say screw it, if I'm gonna have to take two beginning classes, I might as well learn a new one. I've always wanted to learn French, so maybe I could learn to be a cheese eating surrender monkey.

*sigh* I keep vacillating. See, now that I'm an English major I have to remember to use big words. :) What to do, what to do.

*cough cough cough*

That's the noise that has been pervading my house for almost two months, now. About 7 or 8 weeks ago, Ethan got a really really bad cough. His fever never went over 100, and it was very short lived, but he was waking up in the middle of the night coughing so hard that he wouldn't be able to breath, and sometimes threw up. He gave himself a really bad nose bleed a few times, too. So I took him to the doctor and she gave him an inhaler, which I still say was bollocks. (I've been watching British TV again.) Needless to say, he really didn't get any better, but I figured it was allergies. About a week after, I started. I never threw up or got a nose bleed, but I did feel sick to my stomach and got really achy and had a really hard time getting air after I coughed. A few days later, Josh set in, then Mom and Dad. We all fell like dominoes.

Time passed, an we didn't get any better. Dad got so bad that his doctor thought he had pneumonia and did an x-ray. (I know that it's supposed to be A x-ray, but it doesn't sound right!) He did not have pneumonia, but the doctor gave him antibiotics and sent home samples for me. The antibiotics helped me to not feel like dying, but not by much. I still was coughing up a lung every time I moved, talked, laughed, or took a breath, except now I was in school doing it. I skipped nursery once when I was at the peak, but I couldn't miss school, so I sucked Fisherman's Friends cough drops, which have so much menthol that they might have stripped my nasal passages but were the only thing that helped. I also stayed dosed on rotating over the counter drugs which did little, but made it so I could stay awake for the most part. Assuming that all this was horrible, horrible allergies since it just wasn't going away, we all went on with our lives and tried to make the best of it.

So one day this week, mom was at one of her doctor's (she has so many I can't possibly be expected to keep track), and he said it sounds like she has Pertussis, better known as whooping cough. She went home and looked it up, and sure enough, it sounds like that's EXACTLY what we all have! Whooping cough! Who woulda thought?!? You see, whooping cough last 6+weeks, plus some time before the symptoms actually start which is when you are contagious. Sadly, that's the only time treatment works. Isn't that lame? You have to take a really strong antibiotic, like Z-Pac, before you even know you have it or you are completely screwed. Also, that's the only time they can do tests to prove it's whooping cough. After that, you just have to make an educated guess. So, after the few weeks of being contagious, and 6+ weeks of actively feeling like you might lose a lung at any moment, you have several more weeks of convalescence, where you aren't coughing quite so bad, but you still have something of a cough. That's where Ethan, Josh and I are right now. Dad might be too, and mom might have just barely finally broken the barrier. It seems the name doesn't come from the sound of the cough like I thought, but rather the voracious sucking sound you make after you cough cause it's hard to get air back into your lungs. Weird, huh?

So, Margie, whooping cough? Really? Isn't that wiped out like polio? Didn't you get vaccinated, they seemed to say. That's exactly what my reaction was! Here's the dealio, the Pertussis vaccine isn't one of those that you get and you're set for life like the Polio vaccine, it's one that you have to keep getting, like the tetanus vaccine. And they really only give it to babies cause they invariably die if they get whooping cough, which is generally considered a bad outcome. So. Who knew?!?

In other news, my life has pretty much returned to normal on the romance front. No more singing Lotharios, no more guys wanting to get to know me, and my lab teacher used the 'my girlfriend' phrase. :( Today in class when he was talking I was mentally going, "How YOU doing?" And then I realized it was because he was wearing a sweater. Any men that might read this in hopes of winning me, just put on a sweater. It works every time for some reason. I guess it's good that I don't live someplace cold, I'd probably be a major slut. My classmates are still friendly, though, so that's something. Today when I was talking to a guy in my technical writing class, I laughed so hard I snorted, and he was like, "did you just snort?" I said, "Yeah, I do that, it's embarrassing." He said, "I think it's cute!" He later also used the girlfriend word, so don't get excited or anything. Strangely, they only people that I don't seem to hit it off with are the people in my art classes. It might be because, in my experience, artist are assholes. And the ones in my intro to comm design class all seem so young and ego centric, I just find them terribly annoying. Hopefully that won't be a problem as time goes on.

Well, I have tons of homework, so I better blow this Popsicle stand. Laters!

Alternate Dimension, maybe?

Something very weird is going on in my life. All of the sudden people like me. I have no idea what's going on and I'm not sure that I like it. In all my classes, people have been striking up conversations with me left and right. I've been thinking that it might be my new haircut, which I don't have a picture of, but I'll take one and post it asap. It's curlier and every single person that I've known for more than a few weeks has commented on how much they like it.

Also, as far as men are concerned, I am on fire. I have truly not been thinking about dating because I've figured that that men don't like me when I'm fat, so why bother. So I've been concentrating on school and figured that my love life would work it's way out somewhere down the line. Then I started school, and developed a tiny crush on my anthropology lab instructor. He's shorter than me by about an inch, and he's pretty heavy, and he only wears shorts, button up shirts and flip flops as far as I can tell (he actually said in class he doesn't own any pants!), but he's kinda cute and very funny. Plus since he's an anthropology grad student, he's smart. And he has cute dimples. So the other day in class, I was working in a group (yeah, some more of those people that have taken to me, inexplicably) and I told this story: I said, "I was watching Bones the other day, and they said the girl had a cut below her mental foramens, and I was like, I know where that is!" Cause that's the stuff we learned in the first lab. Now I was just telling my group, but I noticed that the instructor, who was all the way across the room was looking at me and started laughing. Then, when I went for him to check my work, after he signed off, he kinda looked at me out of the side of his eyes, smiled a cute little smile and said, "Don't believe ANYTHING you hear on bones." I said, "Oh, I don't!" And we both laughed. It seemed very flirty to me. So all day I was mulling that over, and at the end of the day when I was walking to my car, a guy with ear buds in his ears came up next to me, tapped on the arm, and when I looked at him, he started singing about how he wanted my body! I actually laughed out loud I was so surprised. He went on for several verses, looking right at me and doing little hand motions that matched the words. Eventually of course, we went our separate ways, but I was smiling ear to ear all the way home!

Now, I would say I was just having a good day that day or something, but there's more. Back in July, I was bored and saw a commercial for eHarmony saying that you could try it for free for the week and I signed up. Half way through signing up, I got annoyed with myself cause I really don't care to meet anyone on eHarmony, but I had already started, so ya know. Also, online dating stuff makes me into a crazy person. But, I figured, might as well leave it for the free week. By the next day, a guy was wanting to communicate with me, but I had to subscribe to do that, so I figured I would subscribe for the shortest commitment and then cancel before the renewal. That guy mentioned 5 times in his profile how important a woman's physical appearance is, so I said hasta, dude. After I uploaded my photo, nobody wanted to communicate with me, so I've been pretty much ignoring the matches they sent me. Then out of the blue, yesterday and today I got emails that TWO guys wanted to get to know me! I was astonished! *sigh* Now I'll get all excited about guys liking me and they'll stop again. That's always the way it works. :)

Unbelievable

All the anguish was for nothing, NOTHING, I tell you! I went to the church with Ethan, and it turns out that I was LITERALLY the only parent there. Not only that, but most of the kids were in jeans and some even wore shorts. So I was in there for opening exercises feeling very out of place, not to mention the splitting migraine I had which my drugs weren't working on yet, and I decided that after opening exercises I would split and go to the foyer and read my book. Then, they counted off for groups to go to the different activities in different rooms, and they put me and Ethan into different groups. Okay, how retarded is that? Parents, come with your kids so that you can do activities with other people's kids. I don't think so. I beat it, post haste. In conclusion, youth activities a dumb. :)

Standards

I am most grievous troubled by a dilemma that has been placed before me. Sunday the scout master and assistant scout master came up and told me that this Wednesday is Standard's night and parents are invited to attend. For anyone who doesn't know what that means who might happen across my blog, once a year for the Wednesday night youth activity, they get to listen to talks all night about standards and how to uphold them. I had to sit through this once a year every year from the age of 12 to the age of 18. Now that my son is 13 (cause I didn't hear about the one when he was 12), they want me to come sit through this snooze fest again, only now that I'm the parent, I'm supposed to act all enthusiastic and supportive to be a good example to my son. I seriously do not want to go. Add to the boring factor the fact that I work from 9-3:45 on Wednesday, then have class till 5:30 and get home basically in time to fix dinner, scarf dinner, change clothes and get up there, and this is not high on my list of fun things to do. (Now I know that since neither one of my parents work and they are at home all day doing nothing except reading, watching TV, or playing video games, it would seem like they could make dinner. In my experience, this seldom happens. Mostly because they stay up all night then don't get up till 12-3 pm. They then eat, and don't get hungry again until around 8 or 9.)

So here's the big dilemma: They aren't requiring church dress for this, just no shorts. Ethan only has church clothes and shorts. Seriously, he has no pants other than his suit pants. I can't afford to run out and buy him clothes. Mom suggested he wear his church pants and a polo shirt. Which is another thing he doesn't have. Now if it were me and Ethan living by ourselves, I would just skip the whole thing and be done with it, but I know my parents are going to give me crap if I do. Like, I'm supposed to "teach Ethan what's important" and crap like that. *sigh* I dunno.

Cinnamon day!

Lately my friend has been posting about yummy food everyday as she quests to avoid eating chocolate, which has been hilarious, but has also been giving me the munchies real bad. Add to that the fact that I'm re-reading the book Sunshine by Robin McKinley, in which the heroine is a baker whose speciality is "cinnamon rolls the size of your head" and I've been getting a serious jones on. So, after passing by multiple stores and knowing that their cinnamon rolls would be inferior to anything I'm imagining, I went in search of a recipe worthy of me actually heating up the oven. (We don't have central air, and our kitchen doesn't have a window unit, so it can get pretty warm in there.)



My search sent me here. I picked the recipe that won the Iowa State Fair, cause I bet in Iowa they know cinnamon rolls. I mean, what else is there to do there but bake? Just kidding, I figured if it won a contest, it must be good. I was a bit thrown off because it called for mashed potatoes and mashed potato water, but whatev. When all was said and done, they were FAN-FREAKIN-Tastic. My dad, who doesn't really care for sweets all that much, had five. Seriously. I had three, and I only stopped for fear of the integrity of my stomach if I stuffed any more in. So this is how the remaining pan looks:

Josh has requested Asian Meat Buns for dinner tomorrow, so we'll be having this. Wish me luck!

Some people annoy me

Ok, many, MANY people annoy me, but in this case I am specifically referring to authors. And more specifically than that, I am referring to authors that leave a story wide open and then refuse to write a sequel. I think when you choose to entertain the public, you have responsibilty and it's just wrong to shirk. There are 4 cases that really flip my pancakes.

Number 4 is Jean M. Auel of Clan of the Cave Bear fame. She starts the series with a girl that is born homo erectus, but whose parents die tragically in an earthquake when she is a toddler. She is found and raised by the shamen and the medicine woman of a neanderthal tribe, where her life is hellish and she can't live to her full potential. Eventually she is forced to leave. In the next book, she goes to a nearby valley where she tames a horse and makes a lovely life alone until one day she rescues an injured and handsome homo erectus hottie. Throughout the course of the next gazillion or so books, she and he make their was across the continent to join his family. At the end of one of the books, they see his family in the distance! Hooray! The next book didn't come out for over TEN FRICKIN YEARS. But eventually it did. Some of us read the book, glad that the story would finally be wrapped up before the aging Auel kicked it. I eagerly plodded through the book, (because I don't enjoy these books nearly as well as I did when I was a teenager, and a book that's 2 inches thick is quite a bit of plodding when you're not having fun.) And then, after all the anticipation...the book ends. No really, it just ends, right in the middle of the story. No effort at wrap up of any kind. It's like she was writing a 4 inch book and the publisher were like, just give us the first two inches dammit, we'll publish the rest when you finish! That book came out in paperback in 2004. The next book is supposed to be released in the spring of next year. And if it's not the end of the damn series, I'm gonna write the ending myself.

Number 3: Witch and Wombat by Carolyn Cushman. Ok, this book isn't a magnificent feat of literature. But still, it's clearly supposed to be the beginning of a series. But Ms Cushman only wrote one book. Ever. In 1994. WTF? Surely it wasn't that bad! Did she get hit by a bus? Did she lose her typewriter? Nobody knows, because despite internet searches, I can find no information on dear Carolyn, other than the fact that she was a sci fi/fantasy book critic for a magazine. Maybe she decided that she should just write one book to show she could do it, I dunno.

Number 2: Robert Asprin. The Myth Series and the Phule Series are great punny fun. With interesting plots and light hearted goodness. Until...they aren't anymore. The dear sweet kid hero in the Myth Series turns into an alcoholic and becomes abusive to his friends. Phule turns from a light hearted but surprisingly adept and intelligent leader into an idiot who only scrapes by because his butler bails him out. Turns out that Mr Asprin hates writing. Like, seriously HATES it. It's like doing homework while getting a root canal as far as he's concerned. As soon as he got enough popularity and money, presumably, his books started being ghost written or "co-written," which seems to be code for "he gave someone permission to write it." And the people who are writing his books now really REALLY didn't get it. At all.

And Numero Uno, drum roll, please: Robin McKinley. As far as anyone I've ever talked to is concerned, some of her books are left wide open for a sequel. Sunshine being the most obvious example. Sunshine was written in 2003, and is really really not finished, but according to Madame McKinley's blog, she DOES NOT write sequels! And she likes the ending just fine, thank you very much. Hmph. She says if she ever is gifted with a sequel story springing from her head, so be it, but don't hold your breath. grumble grumble.

Of course, this list wouldn't be complete without The Cat Who Walks Through Walls and several other books by Heinlein, but he's dead, so I'm not really expecting much there.

And I would be derilict in my duties if I didn't mention some people who can't stop writing but really should: Orson Scott Card after writing Ender's Game, Frank Herbert after Dune, and of course, Terry Goodkind and Eric Van Lustbader before they even started.

And the cat came back...

Today has been a big day at our house. This morning, my dad had knee replacement, which went very well. He should be the in the hospital for two days and then he'll be transferred to rehab for who knows how long.

I know it seems like a change of subject, but my cat's been missing for over a week. We walked around the neighborhood, the yard, I called the pound, and I put up signs.

Have you seen me?

I had pretty much given up hope, but today when I went home to pick up Ethan and take him to his piano lesson, I heard a loud meowing coming from our shed. Yep, apparently he got locked in there last weekend when Dad mowed the lawn. He's fine, although all the extra flab he had packed on is gone. He is rather verbal if I'm not in his immediate eye line, and is currently resting on his rightful place between me and my computer, purring like a motorboat. I seriously can't believe he survived, cause it gets really stinking hot in there.

So, despite the fact that I'm having allergies from hell, I'm a happy camper.

Birthday Blog

The time has come for my annual birthday wish list. Yay me!

XBox 360, or money towards one
Buffy Season 7
Xena Season 3 (I can't remember if I have 2, so I'll say 3 for now)
Uh...I can't think of anything else. So, there you go!

Travel Time

I'm am writing this post from beautiful Texarcana, Texas! Dad, Ethan, and myself have traveled to North-East Texas because my Great-Aunt is not long for this world. About a month ago, she had a stroke, so we figured we should come visit her soon. Then, last night we got a call that she had been diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and they expected her to live 2 months without treatments, and 4 months with. Of course, they strongly recommended the no treatment route. So we started making plans to come up here this weekend. This morning we got a call that her kidneys had shut down. I immediately went home from work, we packed, and here we are, probably until Sunday. Her children have already signed the no heroic measures paperwork, which was an uncomfortable conversation that took place while I was standing there. To me, that's a no brainer. But one of her daughters had a 10-year-old that she made that decision for when he was dying of leukemia, and she basically freaked out and kept saying, "I CAN'T MAKE THAT DECISION AGAIN!" I wish that I had been in the waiting room for that portion. So, Memaw (which is what we call her) is wired up to all these tubes and wires and stuff and when I was in there, I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or just making random noise. It's sad, but I always have a hard time being very sad when an elderly person dies of illness or other natural causes.

So, that all explains why I'm here in Texarcana where everyone sounds like an extra from the set of King of the Hill (my relations included) and already ready to kill Ethan in a most horrifyingly graphic manner. :) At least I have the interweb!

just fyi

So I know the only person that reads my blog already knows this, but just for historical accuracy I have to tell you that a little over a week ago, my boyfriend of fours years dumped me. There, I'm glad we got that out of the way. So that said, I've obviously been doing some soul searching lately, and I had an interesting realization this morning. There's back story here.

When I was 14, they redivided the wards, and I was sent to Denton 2nd ward. In my Sunday school class, there were 4 people. One was Mike, who was my best friend for many years. As of now, he is 36, spent some time inactive from the church but is back now, and is unmarried with no prospects. Next we have Becky (who also happens to be my son's aunt). She is 35, spent some time inactive but now is back, and is unmarried with no prospects. Next I'll list myself, I am...you guessed it; 35, spent some time inactive but now am back, and am unmarried with no prospects. Lastly, we have other Mike. He hated us and we hated him and we all sat as far away from him as possible and argued with him at every turn. He served a mission, got married and has kids.

I'm really not sure what to make of this. Mike, Becky and I were the bane of Sunday school. We regularly went through 3 teachers a year and would walk out en masse if the teacher was not someone we liked. Other Mike's mom got called once, and boy did that fly like a lead duck. Finally, Brother Porter got called, and he knew just how to deal with us. We were sick of the pat lessons that we got every year and wanted answers to deep theological questions that people always blew off, so the first Sunday when Brother Porter pulled out the manual, we raised a ruckus and told him how we felt about the manual. He asked us what we wanted to know, so we fired questions at him while he made a list. Every Sunday after that, he would answer one of our questions and incorporate the lesson from the manual, or vice versa. He was excellent, and we spent far less time at Whataburger during Sunday School as a result.

My question is, what's the link? Are we all like we are because of when we were born? Did we just happen to be people who were a lot alike that ended up together? Or did we mold each other into what we are now? We've each gone different ways in life, and we're not still friends, although I could reach either Mike or Becky if I wanted to. Just something I was thinking about, so there you go.

procrastinator me

Yeah, so I have a huge project due on Monday that I've barely made a dent in. And another huge project due on Tuesday that I've barely made a dent in. And another huge project due on Tuesday that I haven't started yet. I'm sitting here updating my blog instead. I am dumb. But dammit, I don't wanna draw a dragonfly! We had to do studies of dead things and then do a large project based on the studies that we drew. But, believe it or not, dead things give me the major willies. I was sick to my stomach the entire time we were in that room of dead things. I also can't touch dead things with my bare hands, which makes it hard to move said dead things to a position to draw them. So I decided to draw dragonflies because dead bugs look and feel just like live bugs and bugs don't creep me out at all. So drew a billion dragonflies (and a luna moth and a giant cicada when I got bored) and now it's time for me to do the big project, which is due Monday. Man, am I so not into it. Seriously. I've drawn one wing. Just three more, the body and the background left! Woohoo! For Design I've got to finish a large collage, which I'd much rather be working on but since it's due Tuesday I feel obligated to do the dragonfly first...you see my conundrum. I also need to do a project for art appreciation where I pretend to be the curator of a museum, pick 4 works that we've learned about in class, write a 500 word description which would go on the wall, 100 word description that would go by each piece and draw up a floor plan as to how I would do the layout. I have no interest in museum curation, so I don't want to do the project. Museum layouts just happen, I shouldn't have to think about it! Oh yeah, I also have to get together my process notebook for Tuesday. *sigh* And I'm having allergies. Oh well. :) I got a haircut, so at least my neck isn't hot anymore!