Dumb God and Jesus people

Today at church, I was stimulated to new heights of confusion at the stupidity of my fellow men. My bishop stood up, and taught a brief lesson about why we all need to get health insurance. He had an overhead of a medical bill and showed us how much it would have cost the person if they didn't have insurance. He told us that although many of us already have insurance, those of us who don't really need to get it. Oh! REALLY?!? I didn't realize that medical expenses could really add up! Now that I know, I'll rush out an get insurance straight away! I mean, geez people. Why do you think we don't have insurance? Cause we don't FEEL like it? No, it's because we can't afford it, dumbass. So after church, I ran into one of the members of the bishopric, and I mentioned to him my feelings on this. He directed me to speak to his wife, who informed me that I couldn't afford NOT to have insurance. I said, no really, I can't afford it. I asked her if I should stop making my car payment or what. She asked what I do. I told her that I am a dental technician, and it pays really well, but I still can't afford insurance. She told me I need to CHANGE JOBS and get one with benefits. Oh, just like that, huh? I told her that I don't have education or training to do anything else, and my job is pretty competitive, once you find something, you have to stick with it. She told me that, No, I really needed to just change jobs. I told her that I didn't think she understood the job market right now. She told me she did, her and her husband both are self employed and pay over $800 a month for insurance. I said that it's nice that she has those kinds of resources.
Then I ran into the bishop himself. I expressed my feelings on the issue to him, and he also told me that I couldn't afford to NOT have insurance. Was that part of the orientation or something? I told him that I really COULDN'T afford it, that I really want insurance and I've ran the numbers every way I could, and I simply can't afford it. He said that he guesses I'll find out when I get a $20,000 hospital bill. *!* I told him that I do know because I had to pay $2000 for my ankle hole and I STILL can't afford it. He seemed dubious.
I happen to know that my bishop works for American Airlines and make a 6 figure salary. Now it's all well and good for him to say that you can't afford to not have insurance, but I live in the real world. Some of us have to choose to pay bills and eat OR to have insurance. Hmmm. Tough decision. You would think the bishop would understand that. He deals all the time with people who can't make ends meet. What the fuck?

Another thing that bothered me today is that they have scheduled a primary activity (primary being the organization for kids 3-12) for Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning? Oh, cause I guess every single woman in the church is a stay at home mom that can just run the kids over to the activity in between baking bread and having her nails done! Yeah, I'm a single mother, and I have a little thing we call a job! Grr. How annoying! AND it's a swim party none the less. Like I can tell my son, who loves swimming even more than he loves video games, Oh no, sorry honey, you can't go to the swim party cause I'll be at work. Why don't you pile that on top of the anger you have for all the after school extracurricular activities and friend's parties that you've missed because of my job, roll that up with the feelings of betrayal you have for me going back to work when you were one, and pack that in real tight with the feelings of abandonment you have from your father moving away when you were three. That should make a nice little cocktail of anti-social behavior around the time you hit 15. But I digress. Fortunately, I called a lady who lives nearby, and she is willing to pick Ethan up and take him. Sadly, she actually lives in the neighborhood where the party is taking place, but she still agreed. I would have been annoyed, but she's a sweeter lady than myself.

In conclusion, people are dumb. Or maybe I need to not be so sensitive? Nah, it couldn't be MY fault!

He lives in a clock with no parents? What's up with that?

Guess what time it is? That's right! It's time for my weekly Mister Rodgers rant! YAY!

Now, I have a great respect for Fred Rodgers, may he rest in peace. I've heard interviews with him, and he was intelligent, articulate, educated, sincere, and genuinely kind. He said things in those interviews that were so profound and wise that they actually brought tears to my eyes. He was truly a great man. But. You all know my opinion on having to watch a show aimed at three-year-olds EVERYDAY.

Over the past few days, the storyline in the land of make believe has been centered around Daniel Striped Tiger. Cereal has been raining on his clock and he's been scared and didn't know what to do about it.
Now I understand that all of the characters in make believe are supposed to represent different things that kids might feel or experience in a non-sensical, yet safe, environment. Like how Lady Elaine is supposed to show kids that everyone can be a demanding psychotic bitch sometimes, and that's ok. Or maybe how to deal with demanding psychotic bitches, I'm not sure which. Well, Daniel Striped Tiger is a whiney little scaredy cat. Pun intended. Always has been, always will be. But for the past few days he has been so annoying that I want to go dig up Mister Rodgers and kick his decaying ass. I mentioned to mom that I hate Daniel Striped Tiger and she said, "That's because you hate weakness. You always have." This brought forth amusing fantasies about cute little 3-4 year old me, playing on the playground when another child starts crying or whining for no good reason. (No good reason being anything short of losing a limb.) I tell the kid to suck it up, and when they don't I yell, "Stop being a baby!" And bitch slap them. This fantasy amused me all afternoon. Tee hee. Little kid bitch slaps! That's good stuff. Hmm. Maybe I've been watching too much Beavis and Butthead. Ahahaha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Sick and tired

I woke up bummed this morning. And my head hurts and my nose keeps running. I am sick of feeling like crap all the damn time.

I like ice cream!

The other day when I came home for lunch, I was STARVING. But sadly, there was no food to be found. Mom told me to eat a Lean Cuisine frozen dinner, which I said was too small, but she said I could eat something else after I was done. I reluctantly agreed, and when I was done with the dinner, I still had the problem that we have no food. So I had a huge bowl of ice cream. I just love the irony. I had a Lean Cuisine meal and ice cream. hee hee.

I have a friend that has been my friend for over a decade. I was friends with her and her husband before they even met. Now she has filed for divorce. Sometimes I feel like there's no point in trying to get married because it never works out. But she's agreed to go to therapy rather than just getting divorced, so maybe there's hope after all. *sigh* The whole thing just makes me sad.

I had something else I was gonna say, but now I can't remember what. This happens to me everytime I go to blog, dammit.

Ethan's dad and stepmom miss him terribly. They really want him to come back up there. But they are willing to live with the agreement. They're just having a hard time with it.

Man, this post is a downer. Remember at the beginning, when I was saying that it's funny that I had a lean cuisine dinner and some ice cream? Remember that? Huh? That was pretty funny, huh? Ah, good times.

This afternoon, my boss came up to me and asked, "When are you leaving today?" Now how awesome is it that I have reached a point in my life where I can basically set my own hours? Don't get me wrong, I couldn't just say, "Hey, I'm taking two weeks off, see ya on the flip flop," but if I go to my boss and say, "Hey, I need Tuesday off," or "I'm tired of working, I'm leaving early today," his response is usually, "OK." How cool is that? If there's lots of work due then he might tell me I have to work Saturday or come in early some days to make up for it, and of course I'm paid by the hour, so it's in my own interest to work more, but still! That's why it's four o'clock and I am home already. Which is totally sweet.

I have a new guilty pleasure. I the time that I've been sick and forced to stay home more (also due to Ethan's return) I have discovered "So You Think You Can Dance?" Now normally I avoid so called "Reality TV" but for some reason, this show has drawn me in like dirty magazines beckoning to a teen aged boy. I have my favorite guy and girl even. My favorite guy is Benji, an adorable (in a puppish way) Mormon boy from Salt Lake City who's recently returned from his mission. He's always smiling and having fun, and he's an awesome dancer. He can be serious if the dance calls for it, too, not like some of the OTHER dancers who are ALWAYS smiley. I find that annoying. My favorite girl is Natalie. She is hot hot HOT. She has an awesome body, and she has an amazingly beautiful face, with wide eyes and a wide smile, but she's also humble and takes the judges criticsms as they are intended and incorporates their advice into her dance. This week they got paired together, and it was AMAZING! I totally loved it. I loved Benji's old partner Donyelle, who is a full figured and gorgeous girl, with mad dancing skills, but I just like Natalie a little better for some reason. There are other people I like, but those are my favorites. So. . .yeah. I watch reality tv now. Weird.

The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated

I think I'm finally better! Hooray! My rash is down to a few sad bumps that don't even itch and I didn't feel tired today at all. YAY!! Don't tell my mom. Maybe I can milk it for a little while longer. :)

I still want my nutella. Dammit. I have GOT to go to Josh's house soon!

I remember now why I can't give up television. I watched Veronica Mars last night. Damn that's some grade-A television entertainment. I mean, seriously. How can you NOT love that show. My favorite quote of the entire series was in the second episode of the evening. Weevil and Logan (who are both noted for being huge jerks) are working together to solve a mystery, but they don't want anyone to know they're working together, so they're trying to be sneaky about it. They go to Veronica's work and they hide the fact that they are together by sitting adjacent tables. When she realizes that they are both there to ask her a favor, she says (please excuse my faulty memory because the quote isn't exactly right), "This is your idea of being sneaky? I have a horse costume you can borrow for surveillance if you want. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass?" Good times. Uh. . .maybe you had to be there.

To anyone who was worried, Lawrence and I have NOT broken up, although it was a close call. Everything's happy and shiny again. YAY! It's that six month mark. People ALWAYS fight at six months. Thems the rules, I don't make em.

Uh. . .sorry I don't have anything interesting to say. I am a very boring person.

stuff

My rash seems to be getting slightly better. But here's the thing: the steroid cream kind seemed to be working, so I kept using it. I'm still taking the miracle pill. And, I noticed that I had started taking three new drugs (glucosamine condroitin, new mulitvitamin with ECGG to boost metabolism, and Advair) shortly before my illness started, and the days I didn't take these things are the days that I have shown improvement in my condition. So the question at hand is; am I getting better because of the steroid cream, because of the pills, because I STOPPED taking a pill that I'm allergic to, or am I getting better all on my own and the rest of this is all just coincidence? One thing's for sure. I am fucking sick of being sick.

A colony of orange butterfly's keep flitting around our back door. I have no idea why, but I think it's pretty cool. We're on the migration path for the monarchs, but these are different ones. *shrug*

I think my son was raised in a barn. He keeps leaving the door open. He also keeps NOT flushing the toilet and leaving the seat up. Boys.

My boss told me today that this dollar raise is probably the last raise I'll get for two years. Dammit. I liked regular gigantic raises. I should known this wonderland couldn't last forever!

I slept most of the day yesterday. And I took a nap during lunch today. I wish I were sleeping now. Maybe I have African Sleeping Sickness.

better living through chemistry!

Well, when I went to the doctor on Tuesday, he prescribed a steroid cream and told me if I weren't doing better by this afternoon to call him. As I'm still spiking fevers anywhere between 99-102 degrees, and my rash, while it seems better in the original spots, has spread out to more locales, and I can barely walk through my house without feeling exhausted, I decreed this to be "not better" and called. My joints don't hurt as much and I no longer get tracers when I move my head, and I don't feel like the top of my head is gonna fall off everytime I move, but still. Lawrence and Mom have both expressed the fear that I have contracted Lyme disease, and made me promise to mention it to the doctor. As my symptoms do fit the disease, I decided it couldn't hurt to bring it up for thought. So, this afternoon, I called and spoke to the guy at the front desk, and he called me back after a little while and said that the doctor was going to call in a prescription for doxycycline, which treats not only skin conditions, but Lyme Disease as well. Score! After receiving my prescription (which my wonderful daddy went and picked up for me cause I felt so crappy) and seeing the vast amount of warnings on it, ranging from telling me I should avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight to avoid laying down for thirty minutes after taking it, I decided to investigate further. According to Wikipedia, ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxycycline ) this drug is used to treat not only skin conditions and Lyme Disease, but also acne, syphilis, sinusitus, Rocky Mountain Fever, Malaria, and Anthrax. Yes, that's right. ANTHRAX. It's also useful against the Bubonic Plague. WTF?!? So when I'm done taking this, I will have healthy glowing skin and be completely disease free in every way. You can send me into the jungle or send me to fight terrorists. I am INVINCIBLE! Sweet! Why didn't anybody tell me about this awesome drug years ago? Of course, on the side effects list that came with the drugs, it says in big bold letters, "Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects." Should I be worried?

If I were a boy in the 1800's, I would be pale and sickly and get beaten up a lot

So it turns out, I don't have the flu or meningitis or strep rash or anything. All this 101 fever and swollen lymph nodes and achiness are just a result of my rash. Apparently, I'm having such a bad allergic reaction to something that it has caused my body to reject me. I have no idea what has caused it. The doctor and I ran through all the things that might have caused it and we couldn't figure anything out. He prescribed some creams to apply, and if it doesn't start clearing up by Thursday afternoon, I'm supposed to call him. They even did a blood test and found out that there is no viral or bacterial infections in my system what so ever. He said normally the first thing he would do would be give a steroid shot, but I just had one last month, so it's still going strong. I said, "So basically if I didn't have the steroid shot, I might be dead right now?" I was joking around, but he said with a serious face, "Well, yes, possibly." So, wow, am I allergic to something mighty fierce! Shame we don't know what it is so I can avoid it!

I blame Kiera for this. I'm just saying. She started it after all.

Happy birthday to me!

Guess what? It's my barfday! Yay me! I managed to survive 32 tedious years! For my birthday, I decided to develop a horrible itchy rash, and then to contract the cold or flu or whatever my boyfriend has! So not only do I ITCH all over like crazy, I now ache, and my head hurts, and I have a slight fever! YAY!

But in happier news, Saturday my family and I went to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate the birthdays of myself and my illustrious daddy poo. It was delicious of course. I had a petite fillet mignon, followed by a piece of Godiva chocolate cheesecake. Wonderbar! These are the gifts I have received: Lawrence got me a Nintendo DS Lite, Mom got me New Super Mario Brothers for said DS, Dad got me a kick ass Swiss Army knife, Josh got me season one of Veronica Mars, Joe got me The Doris Day/Rock Hudson collection and Mike Judge Beavis and Butthead collection volume 1 (which will not arrive until tomorrow due to a FUBAR at Amazon), and Ethan got me Lego Star Wars for the Gamecube. Totally sweet haul, man! I'm loving it. Oh, and also, a lady at church gave me a candle that smells like cake. It really does!

Well, Ethan's back, and this heralds the return of mom riding my ass. She's already nagged me repeatedly today despite the fact that it's my birthday AND I'm sickly like. She's even done it by phone! Some fun! What a bitch! YAY! And people wonder why I don't feel adequate as a mother. Gee, maybe because I'm being told what I SHOULD be doing or SHOULDN'T be doing constantly? I was going to take a nap during lunch, but mom has made that quite impossible. So I guess it's back to work with me. *sigh*

I musta eaten too much sugar

Well, I have my Ethan back, and he's as cute as a button. He's been huggalicious all evening. And he's very polite. He says he likes sushi. *?* His cactus is about three inches taller than when he left. His bamboo and venus fly trap died. He earned his bear in Cub Scouts just before he came back. He practically has a crew cut, but not quite. He's very tan. He ate two chicken legs and some left over fried rice for dinner. He says he'll miss his friends in Utah, but he'll see them again. He's still able to wear the same clothes he wore when he left, and for 1 1/2 years before he left. That's because we had to buy clothes that were really tall because he was a chub and to get them to fit around his big ol' belly they were too long. Now he's continued to get taller and skinnier, so the only clothes we have to replace are his pants when they get too BIG for him. Isn't that weird? He's the only little boy I've ever known who wears clothes until they wear out. (Through time and wear I mean, rather than through abuse.) All and all, he's pretty adorable.

I know that my typical trademark is to complain a lot, but lately I must confess, I've been feeling an alarming amount of gratitude. I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the whole wide world. He's so cute and sweet and marvelously kind. On the fourth of July, we went to Logan's Roadhouse with mi familia, and I got a full rack of baby back ribs. For some reason, he really enjoyed watching me eat them. Is that strange? I think it's cute that he takes pleasure in little things like me eating. (A pleasure which could really backfire on him if I do it too much!) I am so lucky that he loves me and wants to marry me despite the fact that I'm difficult and come with insta-family. He talks about grandchildren and what life might be like when we're in our 80's. I am so glad he's in my life.
Last night, I had a talk with Ethan's dad, and he was saying (again) that if Ethan comes down here and just misses his friends and them too much and would like to come back, he's completely welcome. He also said that although I always have finally say, he would really like for Ethan to come back for 5th grade (He'll be in 4th this year). We talked about how hard it is (and in some ways easy) to let Ethan go. We talked about his feelings over the course of the evening, and once again I felt very blessed that I am sharing my child, not with a couple of assholes who make my life a living hell, but with two wonderful people who love my son and want only the best for him. Whom I can talk to and can call my friends. Who can really understand the problems and joys of being Ethan's parent. And who never try to be vindictive or do things just because they can. How in the world did I qualify for all this?
I know, all this glurge is making you all sick, so we'll now return to our regularly scheduled programming. My mom was SO pissing me off today! :)

Dentists make my life hard because they are dumb. so there.

All morning long I have been working on three damn veneers that I can't get right because the stupid dentist only wrote a description of the teeth instead of sending a fucking study model. Sorry, do I seem annoyed? Oh, well, good then, because I AM. This is one of my least favorite dentists, but I feel that I shouldn't name him because I don't relish the idea of getting sued for slander or some shit like that. All I'm saying is that dentists should have a few rules to live by:

1) Stop using a freaking chainsaw to carve teeth. They have fine instruments specifically for the purpose.

2) DON'T UNDERCUT, dumbass. I'm just gonna block out your undercut and make it straight again. So if you want a porcelain shoulder on the perfectly straight tooth you carved, and you then proceed to carve a divet at the bottom of the front of the tooth, that accomplishes exactly nothing.

3) Check your impression. If you send an impression that has a double impression or a big hole or something, what kind of crown are you gonna get back? That's right. A crappy one.

4) Take more impressions. If in doubt about quality of impression, take two. Take a study model impression. The more the merrier, I say! Plus take BIGGER impressions. If you send me a half tray impression were you've carved down every tooth on that side except one, don't come whining to me when your occlusion is wrong. Take a full arch next time you idiot!

5) Look at the patient's mouth when they bite into the impression. If their lower jaw is four inches to one side, I don't think they've bitten down straight, and therefore, I can't use that impression for the bite. Just saying. Unless you've got Quasimodo for a patient, I think most of your patients have teeth that meet in a somewhat normal fashion.

Ok, I feel better now. If you people could make a copy of this list and send it to every dentist that uses my lab, or might ever use my lab I would much appreciate it. I know most people have no idea in the world what the hell I'm talking about, but I needed to vent. I will be happy to explain in greater detail if it's desired.

Crap. It's time for me to go back to work. Dammit. My boss made fun of me for dieting. He said I have a boyfriend, I don't need to diet. I said I want to look good in my wedding photos. He thinks that's stupid. He also called me into the porcelain room to watch the space shuttle float in space for 30 minutes. Which I got paid $14.75/hour for. Sweet. This is what happens when your boss has no friends. But I digress. For lunch I had SlimFast and cherries. I love cherries. My favorite thing about summer is abundant and cheap beautiful fruit. Fruit rocks! Anyhoo. I'm supposed to be walking back into work at this very moment, so I suppose I should be off. Have fun!

Boring update. Sorry about that.

I had a mighty fine four day weekend, my friends. I mean, first of all, it was a four day weekend. If I had sat in my room for all four days, it would have still been nice to have a break from work, am I right? Let's see, Friday night, after I got some work done on the bathroom, Lawrence and I went to El Chico's with my parents and then Lawrence and I chilled at his place for a while.

Saturday, I went used the gift certificate Lawrence gave me for Mother's Day to get a deep pore facial and a massage, which was quite nice. I had a nerve pinch in my back which I was hoping to work out. Then Lawrence and I went shopping for my dad's birthday present (which we found! yay!) and then he, Josh, and I went to Fuddrucker's and to see Superman Returns. We wanted to see the 3-D IMax experience, but the only tickets they had were for the 12:45 showing, which we felt was a little late. By we, I do NOT mean Josh. He was all for it, but us old fogeys vetoed. I enjoyed the movie, but by the end of it, my nerve pinch had radiated into a huge area covering my entire shoulders that felt like I had been punched repeatedly and brutally and I could barely move. The massage wasn't deep tissue or anything, and didn't hurt at all, so this result was very surprising. Then, on the way back to Lawrence's. my sinuses started acting up and by the time we got to his house, the entire front of my face hurt so bad, it hurt to open my eyes. I couldn't even think I was in so much pain. Lawrence decided I wasn't safe to drive, so I sent an email to a guy from church to let him know I wouldn't be there the next morning to open the library and went to bed. Where I lay awake until six in the morning. Fun!

At 8 I woke up and decided to call the same guy to make sure he knew I wouldn't be at church. I got his voice mail. (He didn't receive my voicemail OR email before church.) Unbeknownst to me, when mom got up, she thought I had already left for church, so when she got there and people started asking her where I was, they were rather surprised to find out that she thought I was there, since I live with her and all. D'oh! So dad started calling frantically at 9:45, and I had to explain to him why I didn't come home and why I didn't call. (I thought they would be asleep, that's why. So there.) So after trying to get a little more sleep, I went home for a while, then went back to Lawrence's and we watched "The Librarian:Quest For the Spear," which is a fun little romp, and you should check it out.

Monday, my parents and I went to El Guapo for lunch, where our waiter forgot to put in our order for a half an hour and as a result we got out food for free, and then I broke a bench that's a family heirloom that belongs to the owner and might end up having to pay for it! Yay! I couldn't get mom's wheelchair past it to take her to the bathroom, so I tried to move it, and BAM! Pieces all over the place. Mom says that if they try to make me pay for it, she'll sue for making it so there's no handicap bathroom access. Yowza! I hope they don't call me. Then I took my parents car shopping. My dad's looking for a car that's fuel efficient that can fit mom's wheelchair in the trunk and he can get for $4000 cash. We'll see how that works out. Then Lawrence and I went to Kaboom Town! I twas billed as one of the top ten fireworks shows in the country, and it's right by Lawrence's work, so we parked in his parking lot. We got some Gold'n Chick on the way and I brought some watermelon. It was mighty fine. We got there in time for the airshow, which I couldn't give a flying flip about, but Lawrence really liked, but shortly into the fireworks, it started sprinkling, and they ended up not shooting off most of the good stuff. Suck! *sigh* Oh well.

This morning, Lawrence and I were going to get an early start and go to the Dallas Museum of Art to see the Tiffany exhibit. But I had wardrobe problems, so Lawrence decided to stop at the mall to buy me new clothes. Two shirts, a pair of slacks, a pair of shoes, a pair of cuff links (for the french cuffs on one shirt), and a pair of sunglasses later, we left. Damn. The shoes alone cost $90. It sure is nice having a sugar daddy! After that we realized we didn't have enough time to go to the museum, so went back to his place and watched Josie and the Pussycats, which is the best movie ever! (Join the Army.) Then we went to meet my family at Logan's Road house, where I had delicious, delicious baby back ribs. mmmmm. Then I had a yen for Godiva milk chocolate ice cream, which we found after going to just three stores! We went back to his place, and I proceeded to have a meltdown. You see, you'd think after spending so much time with Lawrence that I would be absolutely sick of him, but the weekend had quite the opposite effect. It made me want all that much more to be living with him and not HAVE to leave at the end of the day. It's weird. Pair that with the fact that Ethan's coming back in three days and I know that my time with Lawrence with be sharply curtailed. I feel like a horrible person because I am just a little happy that Ethan's coming back instead of overflowing with joy like I should be. I mean, Becky does so well with him. She's a far better mother than I am. And so, he's coming back here for fewer friends and a worse mother and worse environment in general AND I will not have as much freedom and as much time with Lawrence. It seems like an all around bad decision. But what can you do?

I know that this was a really long and boring post but I had to get my head straightened out, and I hope that no one read to the end, because then everyone will know what a bad person I am. So, in conclusion: good weekend, bad person. Good day, sir. I said good day.