Sweetness, sweetness, it was really nothing when I said. . .

We all know about my awesome and terrifying destructive powers. (See Jan 17th) But it seems that now that I have found love and happiness, my powers have turned to the light. My first piece of evidence is that Cainnum has found a girl. A pretty cool one with a great sense of humor to boot. AND Josh is going on a date! And the guys thinks my cute baby brother is adorable, so he's obviously very intelligent and discerning! Don't forget that soon after I started dating Lawrence, Kiera and Patrick indulged in what is commonly seen as the greatest manifestation of a couple's love for each other and had a baby. Coincidence? No, obviously not. The evidence is irrefutable. But my amazing love powers do not just encompass those in my life that I care deeply about! Oh no! They also extend to those I care deeply about from afar! Today I read an article saying that Morrissey, the posterboy for disenfranchised loners the world over, has found love. That's right boys and girls, I helped Morrissey out of the closet (like everyone didn't already know about him being gay anyway) and maybe back into the closet for kinky gay love romps. Not necessarily in the closet, but that's as good a place as any. I bring you the article I read (it's actually a music review of his latest album: Ringleader of the Tormentors) in The Week, volume 6, issue 255:

"After a decade of mediocre solo records, Morrissey has made himself relevant again, said Aidin Vaziri in the San Francisco Chronicle. "All he needed," it appears, "was a good shag." As the ex-frontman for the '80's post-punk group The Smiths, Morrissey never revealed his sexual inclinations, publicizing instead a long run of celibacy. That run has ended, he sings on "Dear God, Please Help Me," thanks to the "explosive kegs between my legs" that propel him into a graphic tryst with an Italian man. The new experience has really opened up Morrissey's worldview, said Adrian Trills in the London Daily Mail. The man best known for his gloomy outsider's laments has let a bit of sunshine into this CD. "There must be thousands of Smiths fans who never thought they'd hear their hero sing of 'walking through Rome with my heart on a string.'" To accompany the more upbeat lyrics, Morrissey has enlisted the help of Tony Visconti, the producer behind the scenes with David Bowie and T. Rex in the 70's. That means a backing orchestra on several tunes that could use the help. But for all the novelty, Ringleader is no "masterpeice," said Peter Watts in Time Out London. "Moz-watchers" will love it because it's out of the norm in their world. But for the rest of us, sentimental love tunes are all too common."

So there you have it. My friends dating or having babies and Morrissey singing sappy love songs. You can't escape or deny my powers. I will try to use them for good from now on.