my social capacity

So, remember how when Ethan left I started going out every night, and I'm in school and going to church and all? I think I socialed myself out. I finally hit the breaking point yesterday at church. I was wearing a dress that I don't really care for and fasting, which I'm not really sure is a good idea, and people kept telling me how much the liked my dress. I started to get really annoyed. I know it's weird, but nobody ever tells me they like my outfit when I'm wearing something I really like, like all black. No, they tell me when I'm wearing the big shapeless orange and maroon dress. So I started to get annoyed and after a while I just felt like saying, "Yeah, yeah, I look great, go away." And, as everyone knows, I want to be released from my calling as Single Adult Rep, a request which they said no to. I don't want to go to the activities full of people with silver hair and false teeth. I never get any information from the stake leadership. Put those things together and you end up with a very frustrated Margie. How am I supposed to do my calling if nobody tells me what's going on? So in our ward, we're supposed to have a ward single adult correlation meeting the first Wednesday of every month, and I just started school, so I shouldn't be able to go to it, but it so happens that I don't have school this week. Dammit. So I was thinking about not going and saying I forgot, but Brother Koburna came up to me at the end of church and reminded me. He's the other Single Adult Rep, and he's been at it awhile, so he knows the ins and outs. But he also said he was going to be out of town, so he wouldn't be there. This meeting consists of: him, me, a lady from Relief Society, a guy from Priesthood, and a member of the bishopric. All of them are there to meet the needs of the single adults. Brother Koburna and I are supposed to tell them what those needs are. So I told Brother Koburna that I already asked to be released and they said no, so I didn't want to be there anyway, and if he wasn't going to be there I didn't see any point of having the meeting because I don't know what's going on. He said that I should call the stake rep, who happens to be Linda Barnett, Ethan's grandmother, and ask if there's anything going on. I said that I shouldn't HAVE to call her, she should let me know if anything is happening. He said, "Yeah, but you're proactive, so. . ." I said, rather brusquely, "I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO." And stormed off. Poor guy. It's not his fault, but I hadn't eaten. I'll blame it on that. In the parking lot, mom was standing around talking to Sherri Foster and Susan Porter, and I went up and made lets go away motions. She told them she needed to go, and then, apparently as a continuation of what they were all ready talking about, Sister Porter said, ". . .like Margie, she's got an old soul." Now it's weird that she said that, cause people have been saying that about me since I was a few days old. I'm not even joking. I really don't know why this is a recurring theme in my life, but I just think it's a little odd. I replied to her, "Yeah, that's why I've always been a cranky old lady!" They thought that was really funny. I'm glad I could bring a little joy into their hum-drum lives. :) ANYHOO. So I went home, and at some point in the evening I hit maximum social load. Sorry to all those affected by the devastation. After Josh left (one of those affected), I played around on the computer for a little while and then went to my room and shut the door. Every once in a while, someone would come to the door and try to be all talking to me, and they would get barely restrained annoyance at best and their head snapped off at worst. Then Becky called to talk about Ethan and life, and she was in such a good mood because she was happy to be talking an adult. It was so annoying. But I was trying really hard to be nice. So then she was talking about how much I must miss Ethan, and then I did! And I started crying! I did it quietly, so I hope she didn't notice. Then when I got up this morning, I still didn't want to talk to anybody so I played video games for a while. I think I've recharged now, which is good, cause I'm typing this, talking to two people on IM, and talking to mom and Joey at the same time. Difficult.