Today I have been struck by a large burst of lethargy and paranoia. I really don't know where it came from, but it struck in the mid-afternoon, before that I was fine. I think it might be because I got really hot when I was doing a pick-up at work today, and then when I got back nobody was there and I spent the rest of the afternoon alone. I think it was a bad combo. So here are the things that have been illogically bothering me:
-my mom talks too damn much.
-I don't get enough human contact, except from my mom.
-my car doesn't seem like it's doing too well in this heat. I'm afraid it will die.
-Kiera's not online, she must be avoiding me. This is illogical because I know she's going out of town this weekend and might already be gone.
-Mom made dinner and it wasn't ready till after I had to leave for tae kwon do. She hates me.
-Everything sucks.
-That dentist was being nice to me, but was probably just trying to hide his disdain for me.
-my son doesn't love me enough.
-My video game has a glitch and I don't know what to do about it.
-I'm rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the phoenix, and things are about to get really bad, but I'm powerless to stop it.
-Jared hasn't been online at all this week. He's probably avoiding me because he doesn't want to go out with me again. Yesterday this didn't bother me, today it does. It's the principle more than the emotion.
-I'm not losing weight.
-My asthma is not under control, but I can't afford treatment. I've had several really bad attacks lately, even though I do 2 puffs of albuterol 20 minutes before I exercise.
-Hardly anybody responds to blogs anymore. They must not like my blog, even though it seems consistent to all the blogs.
=I got my official transcript from Phillips today, and I didn't do very well. I don't remember doing that badly.
-I have no chocolate.
-So there you have it. The list of things that have been bothering me this afternoon. The trivial, the important, the meaningless, and the conflicting-it's all there, I think. Maybe there's an underlying cause, but maybe it's just one of those days.
7 comments:
I love you! And, despite my own personal space issues...you're getting a big hug next time I see you. And don't worry about the paranoia, it builds up over time and needs to purge itself occasionally. You know, like the urge to kill...uh, I mean...the urge to eat meat...yeah...that's what I meant.
Urge to . . .uh. . .eat meat rising! lol
Right now I'm particularly poor...and all I have to eat is Ramen. Believe me, the urge to eat meat is pretty peaked right now. :)
See. None of that is illogical. I have thoughts like that regularly. I call the times I do these bouts of worry "weekdays" and sometimes "weekends". I don't worry about quite the same thing so much, but I can be a basket case! Yes ma'am! ^5 to my homey. That means "high five" by the way. I know that, because on occassion I am net savvy. Excelsior!
You know, if it just so happens that two crazy people know each other, that doesn't necesarily make them normal. :) And I must say, I LOVE when you say Excelsior!
I don't remember what I was doing on Tuesday...we didn't leave until Wednesday though. *shrug* Chicago sucked if it makes you feel any better. :)
It was actually Thursday that I was having these troubles, but that's ok. And Chicago does suck! I really didn't like it the time I was there.
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