Thursday, July 07, 2005
oh, sonny boy!
I have really been enjoying my Ethan vacation. I know that seems horrible, but ya' know, I like having a life sometimes, too. I love Ethan, and I miss him, but not as much as my mom does. She's very, very clingy. I remember when I was younger, and I would say that if I ever had kids that I wouldn't mind if they had their own life and I wouldn't want them to be with me all the time, and people, especially my mom, would say, "Oh, just wait, it'll change when you actually HAVE kids, you'll feel differently!" But I don't. I don't mind being away from my child for weeks at a time. When he was younger it bothered me to be away from him for like, over a day, but now that he's older, and he WANTS to live with his dad for a while, I really don't have a problem with that. I guess the thing is, I want my child to be happy and independent, not smothered and codependent. To me, I'm a successful parent if my child grows up, is mostly happy, gets an education, leaves home, gets a good job, is moderately successful, and lives a good life. I don't feel a need to vicariously live through him, or for him to be my best friend. Some would say all this makes me a callous, uncaring parent. I say it makes me a rational and loving parent. Who's to judge, other than child protective services?
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3 comments:
i agree with you. when i was a kid i used to spend every summer away from my mom. it's good to get away and have new and different experiences. unless you're a baby. then it's just like that horrible baby's day out movie.
I agree with you too. Children who grow up with clingy parents often have more problems in the long run. I think it's good for you to allow Ethan to explore his options and find what he wants for himself without imposing your dreams and such on him. It's not healthy for him (as you said fosters codependence) and it's not healthy for the clingy parent either...who really needs to go back to the exploring what they want part of life and find their own..life that is. My parents always said that I can move out if I want, or I can live there until I'm 30 (they said that they'd probably kick me out then)...they were insistent about college, but not about grad school, getting married young or anything like that. I think it's good to let your child know that it's okay for them to be on their own, but that they are always welcome if that doesn't work out for them....my parents always (well sometimes) said they couldn't wait for us to move out so they could have their lives back...well, they didn't say it quite like that, but you get the idea. :) So...good job! You're right, their dumb!
Thank you! All those strangers who are judging me can burn in Hell!
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