"Mother-In-Law" is a stereotype for a reason

Since Lawrence's parents left, I have spent a fair amount of brain power thinking about things they said. Well, actually, I've been thinking about things Lawrence's mom said. His dad is an absolute sweetheart and Lawrence claims that his dad just adores me and approves of our union wholeheartedly. He also spent some time showing me how to saw on my violin, so that was fun. He says that if they ever move down here, he'll teach me to play! And, he wouldn't let Lawrence pay for anything while they were here, telling him to save his money for a ring. :)

Lawrence's mom, on the other hand, has caused me a fair amount of increased forehead wrinkles. Lawrence says that she said that she likes me and didn't say anything else about me, bad or good. Lawrence's mom is VERY negative and has no qualms about expressing her opinions, so Lawrence and his sister both agree that her not saying bad things about me is a very good sign. But. she did say some things that bothered me. Like she said, "Lawrence, is it Margie that's fattening you up? Because you've always been thin as a board!" Ok. So, is it just me, or does it sound like she's saying that I'm fat, so I must be responsible for Lawrence's increased belly size? (Which is something he had when I started dating him, thank you very much.) When I pressed Lawrence to find out what his parents thought of my appearance, he reluctantly admitted that his mother said only one thing, "Well, Margie's certainly not like Becky is she?" (Becky is Lawrence's first wife, and Lawrence's mother's favorite bashing topic is Becky, just FYI.) Lawrence agreed that I am nothing like Becky, but wanted to know exactly what she meant. She said, "Well, she doesn't care about her appearance like Becky does." Um. I tried really hard to look nice that night, so I was a little offended by this. Ok. Not a little, more like a lot. My response when Lawrence told me this was somewhere along the lines of, "WHAT is THAT supposed to mean?!?" Lawrence claims up and down that Becky was always the kind of yuppyish chameleon that had to have every hair in place and her nails perfectly manicured, with just the perfect name brand outfit and her personality tailor made for the occasion, and that I'm not like that; I dress how I feel and I don't wear much makeup and I'm me no matter whom I'm with. Ok, well it sure as hell sounded a lot worse than that, but whatever. I won't be criticized by a woman who wears a thick layer of metallic baby blue eye shadow. So these are examples of things she said, but I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet. Her only concern about Lawrence marrying me is. . .you guessed it. . .Ethan. (I hear from Lawrence that is.) She is absolutely convinced and will not be moved on the idea that ADHD means "Special Needs," like rides the short bus "special." She even asked Lawrence if they were going to try to mainstream Ethan at school. Hello! He IS mainstream! He doesn't have to wear a helmet to walk or anything! He gets to write with sharp pencils and everything! It doesn't help at all that he acts like a nine year old but looks like a twelve year old, that really just confirms her beliefs. For some reason, I find it very offensive and disconcerting that she thinks my child is retarded. I should mail her his standardize test results showing that he, on average, scores in the high ninetieth percentile. And I find it even more disconcerting that this is STILL bothering me even though she's been gone for a week and a half. Oh well. At least she lives in California, ya know what I'm saying?!?